EX Community

Widget gallery

Add widgets to your page

Choose the features you want to add to your page by dragging them from the Widget gallery on the right, to any of the three widget areas below, and position them where you would like them to appear.

To remove a widget drag it back to the Widget gallery.

Profile box

(Fixed position on page)

Right widgets

Message Board


Left widgets

Middle widgets

jonescarp aka dale (1-2007)

Brief description: Fear of the unknown is most often born of self deception. If someone has a knife to your throat, you have a right to be fearful. If that someone is you, only you can take the knife away.




Contact email: "there is beauty in the pain because of what you stand to gain"

Telephone: "You Can't Change Anything Until You Change Your Mind"

Mobile phone: You have to do some cocooning to become a butterfly.

Website: www.myspace.com/jonescarp

Recently Earned Badges

View All Badges

About me

What unifies the elders here should be our desire to give you what we wish we knew when we quit but also, what we've learned since.

Every moment of every personal event missed to go have a smoke whether in triumph or defeat, joy or sadness is gone forever. We  did not experience reality in the same context as those around us.  (unless they were smokers too) We simply were not present. We were thinking about smoking before and during those chunks of life we missed and, we just kept repeating it!

I smoked at least a pack a day for 40 years, more when I was younger,  so I know how to smoke as well as anyone.  I've been quit over 8 years. I've spent close to thirty thousand hours on this and another site. I have watched thousands and thousands of people try to quit. By watching and reading and asking questions I've observed and correlated  what makes both the addiction and the habit part of smoking tick. It is a defineable process. There are things we all experience to different degrees but in approximately the same timeline. I have helped  many succeed and have yet to find a more rewarding or valuable way to spend my time.

You are worth it. I'm here along with everyone else to help you succeed anytime you're ready.


Life keeps coming. Good days and bad. Smoking is not required.

No Luck Is Involved.  "Hope" is wishing, not doing. Once you decide to quit, you can. Until then, you will flounder.

Quitting isn't about what you use or your exact plan. Quitting is about being willing. Willing to be honest with yourself. Willing to not let  your emotions rule your quit, and then, willing to give yourself enough time to get over the first two humps; The first month, and the 100 days that follow.

There is no "magic" button but there is a fairly easy way to do it with understanding and the correct mindset.

Blame the discomfort on smoking, not quitting. People who never smoked have good and bad days too. 

Smoking does not make things better. It is an illusion caused by the dopamine release nicotine causes when it hits the pleasure receptors.  Nicotine has literally hijacked your brain and made it so you cannot experience pleasure in a normal way.

I want to help you get through this in the easiest possible way. You do not need to want to quit. You do have to be willing to quit and you have to decide to quit. If you have had difficulty quitting in the past, you must stop doing it in the same way.

As children our favorite and most repeated question on any long road trip was, "are we there yet?"

This is why I focus on what to expect and when.

What I've learned is once the nicotine is out of your system and even before, it is all about attitude, perserverence and knowing it will get better.



The first 2-3 weeks are the worst time for most quitters. You may feel like you're in a fog, disconnected, shaky. Emotions are all over the map. Your mind and body are experiencing great changes!


At about 3-4 weeks you will start  feeling much better and think you're over it.


Watch Your Back the 100 days following your first month.

During their first 130 days is when most people drop the ball. No mans land cravings can come out of nowhere, and unexpectedly, knock the quit out of you.

Don't Drop The Ball! You've proven you don't need to smoke by making it this far. Why would you give in now?


Thomas posted a study on 8-27-12 in the following link describing the cues to smoke (craves) as being more intense in the first few months after the initial 35 days. This is the reason I focus on the first 130 days and exactly what I have described for a long while here as "No Mans Land"

What To Expect The First 4 Months


No Mans Land (Days30-130 Approx. Study From Thomas Precedes)



and Finally,  the two sets of seasons building new memories without smoking to strengthen your quit


Everything you need to understand about cravings, habit, and memories


About laughing out loud


Nicotine keeps you coming back for more while you are a smoker but long after people have quit using it, long after the pleasure receptors we sensitized to nicotine have died off, it's the memories experienced during each of those smokes and the emotions we've connected to them that make people come back to smoking. Nicotine is the physical addiction but is 10% of quitting, the habit is the psychological part and I consider it to be 90% of quitting.


Does the patch really double your chances of quitting? The patch can help take the edge off to help you focus on working through part of the initial unlearning of the habit but it will not quit for you and it will not keep you quit. At 6 months people who used the patch the entire suggested course of treatment went back to smoking at the same rate as everyone else.


And what about people claiming "Harm Reduction" using an Ecig?


If you look at using an ecig to quit smoking you may want to ask yourself  what you are gaining. If you are getting nicotine you are still addicted to it and if you are unwilling to unlearn the psychological addiction, how will you ever be free of the same thoughts as a smoker? You are simply replacing smoking with a different delivery device. Smoking is slavery no matter how you do it. The only way to be free is to unlearn the hand to mouth and inhale motions. The lining of your mouth absorbs nicotine from an ecig whether you inhale or not. A question. Have you met someone who quit smoking using an ecig who is not still using an ecig? Best suggestion I have is look in the mirror when you use that thing and wave to the addict looking back at you.

I've put in enough time here to know I can't save everybody. People talk themselves into smoking. It's not my fault. People put themselves in risky situations and choose to smoke. It's not my fault. Every time people choose to smoke, they break a promise to themselves and put another hole in their armor until there is no armor left. It's not my fault.

Hang on and you'll make it! Smoke and you won't!

and lighten up!


For those of you who think you are going to do it "your way" and have one here and there along the way?

Nicotine receptors are not moral or ethical judges. They cannot be lied to. They tell your brain the last time they were fed, not you.

They are chemical receptors. They will not begin dying off permanently and be replaced by new "regular" pleasure receptors until you stop feeding them.  (This takes about a year)

"If you've quit smoking and you're still smoking? You're doing it wrong."

Be Free!!!

"Your Quit Will Be Yours 'Til You Don't Want It Anymore"

v v v v v   Who Do You Want To Lead You Up The Mountain?   v v v v v

Damage Control Not For One, But The Whole

People come on the eX, a public board, and are permitted to say anything,  right or wrong, misleading or even rediculous.

As a long term quitter of tobacco and nicotine and a helper on this and another site since I quit over 7 years ago, I  imagine people who are not participating but just reading the blogs are thrown off track because someone put misinformation or a wrong attitude in someone's mind and got them thinking of a workaround to getting their fix until they do.

The Addict Mind Will Glom Onto An Idea That Gives Them A Form Of Permission To Risk Failure  and, It doesn’t take much when you’re looking for a way out of the misery you are feeling, perceived or real.

Example: “They Drank All Weekend And Didn’t Smoke, SO CAN I.”

Example: “They didn’t count their “slip”, so why should I”?

When I see people post harmful ideas that may take someone down the wrong road,  I feel it’s my duty to counteract these ideas and within an effective time frame.  The damage is done to other readers if I wait until tomorrow so, I do it as soon as possible.

Now, in some peoples eyes, they may see it as a personal attack. It’s not my intention that it be that. I try to never directly attack a persons character (because I don’t know them.) Instead, I try to put discussion of what my objections are in my own blog post.  These new quitters often attack my character (again, they don’t know me from Adam so I typically sit back and take it) They start name calling and may demand that you not post on their blog and if you do, they delete your comments. And yet, they will continue to write nasty things on your blog.

I write my own blog on the topic to counteract the effect their’s may have and not have my comments deleted. Again, I always try to stay on topic and not make it personal.

Now admin in some groups doesn’t care what people put out there and will defend their right to say it. I too defend the right for people to say whatever they want and it is not my intent to belittle someone but,  if I can save 10 people from taking the misinformation or wrong attitude and running directly to failure, I have been willing to take the heat for it.

Possible reactions:

These people whose ideas have been questioned can go to admin of the site and complain that they are being bullied. In admin’s eyes that is a possibility so they reprimand me/us. This last time was a public reprimand. In my eyes, this crossed the line.

So, I suggest that admin look a little deeper. I suggest admin look at the whole and not giving more credence to one person who is passing out bad ideas or misinformation that might take one person or many  off the path of success over someone who has spent 10 hours a day here for nearly 6 years watching people’s choices and seeing them fail.

This has nothing to do with how you quit, what method you choose etc. It is about planting a misinformed seed in the minds of many who may choose to water that seed and fail because of it.

That said, I’m out of here, possibly permanently. And Tommy, I built this place too. It hurts to leave but the lack of support by the administration here is mind boggling.

To the administrators of this website.....Look at the elders blogs and the timing of them. I feel what what we do here is mostly damage control. Most of our blogs are in response to what the mood of the board is or what’s being/been said. We are trying to keep people on the path to success. It isn’t any fun being attacked for doing so by peoples shortsightedness. In fact, it’s very wearing
and YOUR lack of support has just worn me out.

to all my friends and those who give a damn about truth....

"hasta la vista~~~~vaya von dios"


How to make a countup clock, post a picture, etc




page visitor counter

who is online counter blog visitor counter



Message Board



Connect with EX