I had quit smoking cold turkey in 1999. I started back to smokimg Feb 2022 because I lost my 46 year old daughter due to alot of health issues on her part. She weighed over 600 pounds and had been in the hospital a little over 2 months.
She was in a Missouri Hospital and we lived in Ok she was sent to Missouri by her physician. After losing her I used "smoking" as an excuse to "staty back" to smoking. Everything is an excuse to drop your guard and go back to smoking.
I enjoyed smoking. I enjoyed the smell.
Then by Nov my health had been going downhill anbd I wound up with Guillean Berrea Syndrome. It started feet up fingers up. I was in the hospital 5 weeks could not move turn my head or lift an arm or leg. I couldn't feed myself.
Couldn't sit on a stool without help. I could do nothing but cry blink my eyes or talk. I was 71 and very helpless. Life has been such a struggle but I even struggled to get back to smoking in the first few weeks being in the hospital with GBS. Here I am its Feb 20th. I set my quit again date forFeb 18th. I done pretty good until the end of the day. I wanted a cigarette at bedtime.
I thought the next day Feb 19 I failed myself with even one cigarette. Dozens of reasons will present themselves for an excuse to smoke. I have to have strong determined will power tell myself no more cigarettes. No more excuses. I am in a wheel chair still struggling to walk. My fingers are still curled with little strenth. I can walk with my rollator walker. The most I've walked in One day is 6 miles it took almost 3 hours altogether. But even tho I've ruined my heal picking up cigarettes again I gave to struggle and beat this. I believe in the power of prayer I just fail to accept sometimes the Grace of God I'm given.
I'll still keep on and will post more as time goes by.
