I've been without a cigarette for 10 days, and I'm doing okay. I can work through the cravings, and except for the food substituting in the hand-to-mouth habit, I am not suffering too badly. However, after reading yesterday that only 7.5% of smokers who quit make it for an entire year, I got a little sad. That's been my experience over 40 years of smoking and quitting; I never make it past six months. I had a few moments of "why bother?" It might have been a bad thing for me to read that particle article at this particular point.
So I struggled a lot last evening, half about to throw up my hands, admit I can't do it, and go buy some ciggies, but I managed to keep myself in line by telling myself that was the addiction looking for an easy way out.
But, after I went to sleep, I dreamed I smoked. And, the good news is, I woke up at 4 am, madder that H-E-double hockey sticks that I had smoked. Literally, I was angry at my dream self for what I'd done. Weird experience, but it was a bump up from the pointlessness I'd felt yesterday. I feel a lot stronger today, and closer to believing I can be part of the 7.5%.
