You have the option to smoke or not smoke. If you’ve quit and have a craving, it’s your choice to smoke and give up your quit, or remain true to your commitment, that Best of You. If there were no cigarettes in the world, you wouldn’t have that choice. You simply COULDN’T smoke. Life would be easier. In your brain at least.
I think it’s the Option that causes failure and certainly the continued angst in most cases. When I ELIMINATED the option to smoke in my own mind, my journey became easier because it didn’t matter if I wanted a cigarette or not - they didn’t exist as a possibility in my world any more. I think it’s why today I’m celebrating a 14 year quit.
When we allow the option to smoke to rattle around in our brains, we suffer, because that back-and-forth dialogue drives us insane: the “I want” versus the “I know I shouldn’t.” The “I want” tends to be stronger because it’s visceral, emotional. Rational thought really is at the losing end of this battle. The intellectual “I shouldn’t” for all the reasons we list: the stink, the cost, health, family, etc. .... can’t compete with the visceral emotional “but I waaaaant it.” When you eliminate the option, there IS no choice. And the dialogue ceases.
If they stopped making cigarettes, vape, chaw, whatever - tomorrow and you KNEW beyond a doubt you couldn’t ever get another cigarette - don’t you think you’d get over this addiction a whole faster? I do. For example: when they stopped making 75 watt NORMAL light bulbs, I suffered for a while trying to find some but then I just gave up and now buy the LED version or something else. Though I miss that 75 watt warm incandescent light bulb, I don’t have a choice any more. Instead of buying a pack of light bulbs for $2.00 I now have to spend $8. The option has been taken away from me. So be it. I’m still kind of miffed about it, but - hey it’s the new norm. And I gave up trying to retain my old way. Didn’t give me any joy in fighting for something I could no longer have. Fighting to find a way to smoke without cost (healthwise), isn’t possible. Yet. They thought vaping would be the answer. Jury is still out on that.
If quitting is your new norm, you can accept your choice, remove the option to smoke, make this a “no matter WHAT” scenario, or you can continue to fight your choice by allowing the possibility of smoking to reside in your brain and so keep the fire of cravings alive. If you remove the option, that constant back and forth dialogue in your head will cease a whole lot faster. Right, Elders? If you can still come up with a reason to smoke then you haven’t eliminated the option, and that dialogue will continue and that next cigarette or vape or chaw will be right there waiting for you at the next convenience store counter to fulfill that potential option.
When the option is eliminated - there’s no hope for a cigarette. When you agree to relinquish the hope of smoking, you are on your path to true freedom from this addiction.
I hope you eliminate the option, I hope you stay true to that Best of You and accept the beautiful, tough, noble choice that you’ve made to be free.
With Love,
Giulia
