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Share your quitting journey

No Embarrassment Allowed!

gregp136
Member
20 45 1,310

I look around the playground, and I miss seeing some familiar faces.  There are a few people I have not seen in a while.  I have looked by the slide, the jungle gym, and the swings.  I walked around the whole pond, and even through a lot of the paths in the woods. 

Maybe they have been busy, and just can’t come to the playground as much.

Maybe they have homework.

Or their dad is making them clean their room.

Or do dishes.

Or something.

But…..Maybe…..Just maybe…

 

They smoked, and are ashamed to come into the playground now. If that is you, please get over your embarrassment.  As a group, most of us have failed in quitting, some, like me, a lot.  And yes, we can be pretty strong in our pushing people not to fail.  That is because we know what failure is like.  We do not want others to feel that.

But if you do fail, I promise, we will still support you!  You are still welcomed on the playground!  Please come and play, and we will try again.  I have heard people use the term “serial quitter”.  It is used negatively.  I understand that.  But I also understand that people could easily call me that.  Yet I am here on the playground, my head high, and 41 days into 50th quit in the last 3 years. 

Call me anything you want!  I am not embarrassed by my failures.  And please, if you have failed, come back, let’s sit in the sandbox and talk about it!

I will not judge you. 

I promise!

Just please, come outside and play with us!

45 Comments
MePlus3
Member

Very sweet blog Greg! I think I'll hang out in the sandbox and maybe lay out my picnic blanket and take a nap my energy is at a all time low but that's part of the quit changes although I love to hang out on swing and slides I'm going to take it easy today and sit in the sandbox and talk my way through another day WON!  

YoungAtHeart
Member

Yes, do come back!  We will welcome you with open arms (but be careful around the swings!)

(that's me peeking from the cylinder slide in the back - and I see Greg climbing the rope ladder wall!)

MarilynH
Member

Thanks for the great blog gregp136 , I enjoy playing in the sandbox with all of you my Ex family.

RachelMB
Member

Thanks Greg-

Your blog made me smile!   I love playing in the sandbox with my family!

Rachel

dwwms
Member

I agree - some people we see and then don't hear from anymore. We're here to help each other, not to judge each other. Obviously, we've all made mistakes and I'm sure there's a good many serial quitters among us (myself included).

Seems the sandbox might be getting a bit crowded - I think I'll be over on the swings or the slide!

gregp136
Member

It is a BIG sandbox!

JustSharon
Member

What a great blog Greg! No one should have to return and be embarrassed, but it happens. I too think serial quitter is a negative term though I have used it on myself, it is a negative way to greet someone. Knowing that "judgement is out there" it might deter someone from coming back. We should choose our words more carefully.

elvan
Member

gregp136‌ What a delightful blog, I am swinging...up, down, up, down...I always loved swinging...oh and the merry-go-round that you get going as fast as you can and then jump on.  Sounds a lot like life!

Have a beautiful day.

Ellen

Chuck-2-20-2011

I've always said that the only failure is completely giving up! Sometimes it does take a time or two or three or more to find the knowledge needed for a quit. And your right! No one is here to assign blame or make another feel like a failure. We're here to help and the commitment to do just that is very strong, I think.

 So yes, I too want to see the sandbox full of people who have never completely given up. There's so many emotions that come with a relapse and we're here to help you sort those out as much as we're here to help those who are actively quitting. Quitting is so hard to do alone and we don't have to be alone in that hard and yes, scary time in our lives.

 Great blog Greg!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

Mandolinrain
Member

Great and fun Blog!  I''m with Elvan ( Ellen), except I like the slides...remember the old fashioned ones that had the bar onto and you could flip over it then slide down???.....thats me...the daredevil never died, hahahahaha

Have a beautiful smoke free day!

Lady86
Member

Awe so sweet and so positive. I stopped playing on the playground myself. I felt annoying and repetitive and I did have that damned drag off a smoke a couple weeks ago (mind u it did strengthen my resolve thankfully) but I was ashamed and embarrassed and I felt so alone (still do sometimes only because my group of friends and roommates all smoke and couldn't care less if I'm around for it) 

Chuck-2-20-2011

Those people are just jealous of your quit! A smoker will always try to justify their habit by showing those on the path of freedom what they're missing. The sad part is the joke's on them! Not a very nice joke, but nonetheless, when they struggle with the future they're creating now, they might suddenly realize that you shouldn't have been alone. No. Instead they'll know they should've been with you! Keep climbing! Freedom awaits you!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

gregp136
Member

We are here for you.  I was on vacation for 10 days and boy, I felt VERY alone without the playground.  And look, we got people who want to play with you on the swings, and slide, and sandbox.  And I can race you to the pond???

Lady86
Member

I've always liked the tire swing    And yes onward to freedom with or without my friends I need to keep at this, I'm excited and happy 

sophia-22
Member

Hi Everyone,

I'm still here smoke free 176 days or so!!!! I've been very busy with a new job but I have been sporadically reading the blogs and conversations. I'm glad Sharon and Meplus3 are back on the freedom train and Thomas got great news about his lung cancer test.

I will blog soon need to go my husband is downstairs waiting for me.

Take care,

Linda - Sophia22

MePlus3
Member

Yep 11 days WON! and I think Sharon have 21!

bonniebee
Member

sayings quit smoking mice.jpgI read this blog the other day but I was in a hurry and had no time to comment I made note to get back to it just to tell you I loved what you said and the analogy you did it in ! I have been wondering about a few Ex'ers I have not seen .

    I know I would be embarrassed to come back after failing my quit and that is one good reason that keeps me from ever quitting on my quit . But I do hope , even though embarrassed , no one is afraid to come back for fear of judgement . The desire to quit should be stronger than any embarrassment felt !

    I was a serial quitter but it was before I found Ex . I love being here in the sandbox with all of you Ex'ers and should I ever fail I know I would be welcomed back by all of my playmates ! So if you are out there alone feeling sad and embarrassed  about your relapse put those feelings aside and  come back to the play ground and begin anew !!!

Thanks Greg for a fantastic blog !

Bree19
Member

I somehow missed this blog.

So glad I found it now.- it's awesome

Legend
Member

gregp136  I like your blog and I just sent it to someone in a text message to read. I hope this blog gets some people back to this place so they can get help. Thanks for posting this blog.

Legend
Member

gregp136 

I would love to put this link to this blog in my quit kit here on this site for others to read if they happen to stumble on my quit kit blog on my page.  Would that be ok with you for me to copy this link to your blog and put it in my quit kit blog so it has more places to get read?  

Louis1988
Member

gregp136, I can't tell you how much this blog has affected me.  My dear friend, Christina, sent the link to this to me my text messaging and it really hit home to me.  THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG!!!  I haven't been on this site for months and it was because of me smoking again and being too embarrassed to face you all, but this blog has made me realize that there's no good reason for not being on here.  You should be so proud of yourself for writing this amazing blog!!!  It's truly a beautiful blog!!!!   THANKS, AGAIN!!!!

gregp136
Member

Of Course, anything to help others.  That is what we are here for.

gregp136
Member

Thank you for coming back  Louis1988‌. You obviously have people who care about you here.  That is a good thing.  Use it!

Greg

Legend
Member

gregp136  Thank you. I hope you have a nice night.

jeblackburn
Member

You sure can't live for other people and you don't have to die for them. Keep trying. I'm behind you pushing you on the swings. I'm sure you'll do the same for me when I need you. Thanks, Jelaine

jeblackburn
Member

I just want to walk in the park and take in the smells of Autumn and look at the Beautiful Autumn Trees. What a beautiful time to be smoke free. Day 1 a success for me. Thanks Ex Team for helping me get here again. Jelaine

jeblackburn
Member

Congratulations on your Quit Days. More embarrassing to me is noticing how bad ciggarette smoke is after quitting for just a day. I was embarrassed in church this morning when I opened my Bible and it stunk of smoke. It was embarrassed when I rolled down my window to talk to a friend with my car stinking from ciggarettes. Also in my home my clothes, everything stinks. Now that's more embarrassing than my being a "Serial Quitter". Glad to be back. Thanks

elvan
Member

jeblackburn  This post is a few months old, I have not seen any posts from gregp136‌ in a while, he was very, very active along with some other people.  I am hoping he is just really busy and will be back.  The playground idea was his and it was brilliant.  It brought everyone together no matter where they were in their quits.  This is a journey, remember that, it is one day at a time and YOU, my friend have your first day WON...I am really happy for you.

Ellen

YoungAtHeart
Member

Here I am gregp136 , sitting on the ground on the teeter totter - waiting for you to take the other side so I can fly UP in the air!

Hurry back - this isn't much fun by myself!

Nancy

jeblackburn
Member

Thank you. Day 5 now. I always said if I could quit for 24 hours, I would be able to quit for good. I've found that each day is different. Some have few cravings and some seem to be back to back. So it's one day at a time for this wanna be Super Woman. 

elvan
Member

It has to be one day at a time, sometimes, it has to be one experience at a time.  Please remember that no crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking.  There will be those days when the craves are on top of each other and there will also be a day when you will realize that you never thought about smoking, not even one time.  I can't tell you when that will happen because it is different for everyone but I CAN tell you that WHEN it happens, you will feel like a million dollars!  Super Woman will rise!

viv_kincaid_vk1

Thanks so much for inviting me back. Yes I failed and stop coming around. 

gregp136
Member

Welcome back!  

elvan
Member

Stay close to the site and know that many of us have had to try more than once.  We all want you to be successful, every single one of us.  This IS a journey...one step at a time...baby steps count.  Reach out to us if you feel threatened by your addiction, we are here, we are on your side...

Ellen

Lauralives
Member

Greg, Thank you!  I gave away a 491 day quit.  Now I have pledged to quit so many times and have not even made it through one day after smoking for 5 months.  I have been embarrassed and ashamed and avoiding the site.  I come and read and comment a little here and there but feel I don't have the right to give anyone advice or even support if I am still smoking.  I am quitting tomorrow but am afraid to even pledge until right before I lay my head down to sleep tomorrow night.  

I know I can do this and I am going to read more, educate myself, update my reasons, see my therapist, journal, read, cry, take a bath and do some soul searching.

Thank you for blog.  

Laura

elvan
Member

Lauralives‌ I think you should take someone's hand first thing in the morning and pledge not to smoke tomorrow...remember that this is one day at a time and that's ALL you have to look at ONE DAY and then when you lay your head on your pillow tomorrow night, you will have a day WON!

Love,

Ellen

gregp136
Member

Fear is also my biggest hurdle.  Together we can do this!

YoungAtHeart
Member

GO, GREG!

GO, LAURA!

GO,  GREG!

GO, LAURA!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SuzyQ411
Member

WONDERFUL gregp136‌ and thanks Giulia‌ for including this in your profile blog posts. Hope one of you will re-post this in the near future 🙂

Giulia
Member

I look around and miss seeing YOUR face in the playground.  Just sayin'!

MarilynH
Member

We sure do miss you gregp136.......

YoungAtHeart
Member

The playground just isn't as much fun without you, Greg, gregp136 .

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SuzyQ411
Member

I have bookmarked this post gregp136‌ ; it is fantastic!! 

gregp136
Member

Getting over the embarrassment is not easy. But I will.  And I will stay close.  I promise.

gregp136
Member

I will not be embarrassed, even though it is very very hard.

About the Author
I am 64 now. Living, breathing, keeping busy, but yet...failing. It is time to stop failing, at least when it comes to quitting smoking.