It’s not fair.

[nedurling]

I’m 30 years old, I’ve been active duty for 10 years, smoking since I was 14, vaping since 21. Over the years, I noticed my run time and stamina had greatly declined, and, stupidly, I chalked this up to age alone. I’m having labored breathing just going up a couple flights of stairs. A few months ago, I went to the clinic for a routine dental exam, and they took my vitals. BP was 137/86, resting heart rate was 88. Doc said it was a little high but nothing to worry about if I just in get some moderate cardio and healthy eating. I went on my way, cut down on energy drinks and some bad foods (it was winter, sue me), and about a month ago, I go in for an annual physical. Vitals taken again, this time BP was 144/95, heart rate 102. I was diagnosed with hypertension, and doc immediately put me on these god-awful meds that make me feel catatonic, depressed, and like I’m going to fall asleep at the desk. I couldn’t live like this. If I was going to change ANYTHING about my routine, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be taking a pill every day the rest of my life that made me feel like I’m at my lowest. I had indulged in alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine for as long as I could remember, so I started small. Caffeine. Went from 3 BANGs per work day to 2 cups of hot tea or black coffee a day. Next up was alcohol. I went from 4-5 drinks of hard liquor every night to 2 glasses of red wine. It’s been about a 1.5 months, and these have worked out great so far. The last step was going to be undoubtedly the most difficult. I haven’t even started yet, and it’s already haunting me. It’s the one that’s been around the longest, like bug scratching the back of my subconscious. We’ve all heard and read horror stories about withdrawal; the headaches, the irritability, the insomnia, anxiety, and more. But then I thought of my wife and family. How many years down the road have I already wasted that I can’t recover. How many insufferable visits to doctors will I have to burden them with later on in life. And how could I have been so selfish and weak for so long, knowing damn well that I have the determination to make life better for them. So I HAVE TO improve my quality of life. I HAVE TO make it better for my family. I HAVE TO prove to myself that I have free will. And more than anything, I HAVE TO feel like I’m truly breathing for the first time. 

[McMoney]

My dad always told me, "You can breathe, or you can smoke". The obvious implication is that you cannot do both. And it's true. You must choose!  

I'm 40, I smoked for 27 years. You are 30 you've smoked for 16 years if my mathing is correct? It does not get better. It costs more, you see that it could cost you everything. Quit NOW while you have so many years ahead of you. Don't keep kicking the can until it kicks you back.  

Yes, the first days suck. I imagine boot camp was no picnic either. You CAN do this and it sounds like it's time. I will be rooting for you! 

[Barbara145]

I am rooting for you too.  Stay close to this site.  A whole lot of us have quit smoking/vaping with the support from this site. You can do it.

[biscuit9]

No, it's not fair, it's the one little indulgence you have left.  I get everything you said, but smoking is harmful.  I watched every awful smoking video I could find to get my mind right and make me quit.  whyquit.com has many.  

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome!

Understanding the addiction and having a PLAN going forward will reduce the anxiety of quitting.  Get busy learning and preparing, and I think you may actually start to look forward to this journey!  You will do this one day at a time, so don't be looking further ahead than that.  You didn't say if you are smoking and vaping. but no matter.  Quitting all forms of nicotine delivery are about the same.

An important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. I was amazed when I learned that the stress reduction you feel when you ingest nicotine is caused by the brain receptors calming that have gradually built in volume,  jonesing for their next fix!  I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking”  that brings light two other things you might not know.  You can purchase a digital version online or borrow it at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: Nicotine and Your Brain.

I quit many years ago , and I base my overall recommendations on my experience and that of others here over the years. If you decide to use a quit aid, I recommend those that don't let the addict control the dose such as Rx drugs and the patch. Lozenges and gum are fine, but don't sub them for every cigarette you used to smoke.  That will simply be substituting one addiction for another.  Have a plan to reduce use over time. Each cigarette you smoked contained about 1 mg of nicotine. If you use more than one form of NRT, be sure you aren't getting more than when you smoked.

To better deal with the habit part of the addiction, change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your walking shoes on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

After you have eliminated as many associations as you can, you need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit Games: The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the page.

Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke - EX Community

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

You might want to join other site members by taking the daily pledge when you quit. It helps to hold yourself accountable and also accountable to others here. Find it at Home (top left), then first box titled Take the Daily Pledge.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[CommunityAdmin]

We are so happy you came her for support @nedurling. My name is Quiana, and I am a part of the EX Team.  I wanted to reach out and personally welcome you to the EX Community! We are a very supportive community so feel free to keep us all posted on your quit journey reach out and let us know if you need anything. You are making the right choice to choose a healthy life, and you are taking the first steps in that journey. 

Here are some articles that might be helpful as you prepare for your quit date: 

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/right-before-you-quit/

https://www.becomeanex.org/ex-resources/about-quitting/get-ready-to-quit/3-ways-to-get-your-support-...

Quiana, EX Team

[Giulia]

You've already accomplished much.  Change "have to" to "want to" in your head and it might make the journey a little easier.  Not that it's easy!  But a lot of this process is about our mindset.  You want to get rid of the daily drug you now have to take for the rest of your life, you have to give quitting a good go.  See if that changes anything.  Right?  You're not selfish and weak.  Well, unless you WANT to feel that way.  Seems to me you've accomplished a lot in your 30 years of  life.  You've shown discipline in other areas.  But quitting smoking is a little different.  At least for me.  I can't have just one puff.  Took me a couple of failures to realize it with many years of smoking in between.   Withdrawal is no fun, I agree.  But - you like a challenge? Somehow I suspect you do.  How could you be on active duty for 10 years and not like a challege?  Just take this as a challenge that you can conquer and you won't have a headache!  It's not always what we think it's going to be.  Keep an open mind.  And charge forth!  You may not want it, but I and all the rest here want it for you.  Hang  tough.  You can do this!  And as my step father once said to me and it made me grow up fast:  "Who ever said life was fair?"  

[Sootie]

My dear friend Giulia @Giulia  (above comment) is certainly correct that life simply is not designed to be fair.....ever.

However, I'll hold out one shining star for you to bet on........I BET YOU that if you quit smoking.....one year from now you will not only think it is "fair" but you will laugh at how you once thought smoking was something you "wanted" to do. Smoking is a trap-----an addiction of course. And so, it confuses and tricks us into thinking we cannot live without it. Not only CAN you live without it.....you will be so surprised to see how much BETTER your life is without it. What I now feel is "not fair" is that I was so stupid to have smoked for all those years and not given myself more years to enjoy the freedom from addiction.

Welcome to EX----Stay Strong.