Oh my Lord, please get me through this day. It started out so good and I felt good but all of the sudden I am crawling out of my skin. I am 41 days in and it should not be like this! Is this what NO MAN’S LAND is all about??‼️ Yes I forgot to wear my patch yesterday and I was a little bit grumpy this morning when I woke up. I’m out of town, my aunt is not feeling well and is a little bit grumpy, combine that with me being a little bit grumpy, we are kind of bickering at each other, and all of a sudden I am just feeling rotten. I’ve been so positive and trying so hard to be a good role model for all the newbies who are just starting, but maybe it’s OK to let on that sometimes there are bad days too. For the first time in weeks I feel like I am really craving a cigarette. Don’t worry my friends, I will not do it, but my body is screaming at me. Maybe it’s being out of town and in a stressful situation, trying to be helpful but feeling like I’m also in the way sometimes. I don’t know whether to give up and go home or stay another day here like I was supposed to. My aunt just tells me to do what I want and I don’t know if that means she wants me to stay or go! It’s stressing me out big-time. I’ve been upstairs crying for the last half hour because I can’t pull myself together. I REFUSE TO GIVE IN TO THIS CRAVING!!!! I think I just need to jump in the shower, slap on a new patch, and go for a long walk. There are lots of hills around here and they are exhausting to walk. But it is beautiful out here. Maybe I’ll walk to the cemetery and wonder how many people died because they didn’t quit smoking in time! I don’t know. Anything but give in!
WHY this at 41 days⁉️⁉️ I know many of you have been down this road before. I think I just need to vent! I am going to do that walk to the cemetery. I’ll check back in a couple of hours. Any advice or wisdom you have to share would be much appreciated. All you newbies, things do get better after the first few weeks, but I guess we always have to be careful of these days sneaking up on us where the nasty nicotine gods try to pull their evil magic on us! I’m going to get in the shower and finish crying, clean up so that my aunt cannot tell I’m upset and then go for that walk.
Please God let this pass quickly. Is this what it is like when you go off the patch? Oh man I hope not😢😢
