Dear Nicotine, Tobacco, and the vape I 'loved so dearly' I never even gave it a name.
I'm done with you.
I'm done with substituting my distrust in myself with you. Once upon a time, you were cool. You were my best friend when I lost my temper. Which is actually wild considering, I have a best friend. I have friends. And they're actually more patient with my bad days than I am with staying away from you.
You really fucked me over when you became a necessity in my life. I devoted my dominant hand to you. Because it went from a vape back to a bottle, you made me feel championship stupid.
You make me lie to myself constantly. You replaced everything from food to love. You stopped bringing comfort and started bringing traumatic memories I don't want to ever think about again. I regret giving you that sort of power over me, my life, my truth, hell my relationships with my family, friends and my job.
You don't control my drive.
You don't measure my worth.
You don't determine whether or not I should be loved.
You don't get to decide my morning routine.
You don't define my attitude.
You don't improve me.
You were a desperate escape from "reality" because I lost faith in myself and humanity when my favorite musician passed away.
And you can keep that.
Why? Because I'm stronger. My support system is real and the fact that it surprised me to receive any sort of possibility at all, is a sign that this is my official break up. You can keep your fancy device alerting me than my self control is weaker than your hold on me.
I'm serious. Don't bother me again. I'm through.
