Giving up

[ShellyDabrio]

Another day has past that I planned to quit. I just can’t seem to do this, I’ve tried so many times. I hate smoking, I feel like crap, I just can’t get started. Can I really have been doing this for 38 years? I’d like to have some purpose other than sitting here smoking all day. Being disabled for 12 years I don’t know what to do with myself. I hate everything about cigarettes and yet I can’t let them go, another tomorrow gone...

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

Education is key in establishing your quit resolve.  Some folks have reported getting excited about their quits after reading the Allen Car  book noted below

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.   Try chair yoga with Adrienne first thing out of bed. Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take different routes to places you go so the scenery is different.  
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[AnnetteMM]

There may be some items on this list that appeal to you!

/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke 

[CommunityAdmin]

AnnetteMM wrote:

There may be some items on this list that appeal to you!

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2008/05/03/things-to-do-instead-of-smoking 

Agree!  ShellyDabrio‌ Glad you came here and posted.  You can do this and there is a lot of suggestions here and undoubtedly something that will work for you.

Mark
EX Community Manager

[elvan]

You CAN do this...first thing you need to do is stop smoking in your house.  I don't know what your disability is so that may be very unfair but I do think that if you only smoke outside and you make your home a HEALTHY place with plants and fresh air, it helps with quitting.  I smoked for 47 years, I have chronic pain and I was convinced that if I could just get the pain under control, I could quit.  Smoking never really did ANYTHING other than to distract me and it was for a very short period of time.  You can play computer games, come to this site over and over again and read and post and pay attention to what has worked for other people.  Smoking does nothing for you...I get it that you hate it, so did I.  It's an addiction and recovery is a one day at a time journey.  Sometimes, it is one emotion at a time.  You CAN do this.  

Ellen

[Pops]

Well, good morning ShellyDabrio‌.  I read your comments and felt compelled to share a bit of "my" experience...because trying to talk about your experience....well, that is all predicated on the concept that we already know all we need to know about each other.  That simply isn't true.  You no more know who I am...than I know you....However, I suspect that you and I both have been beaten up pretty good by the deadly powerful grip of "nicotine,"  I personally have battled that fr##kin demon most of my entire adult life.  Only to wake up one morning completely oblivious to the deadly side effects that nicotine was doing to my body....then once again....I would subject my body to more destruction by lighting up and drawing that deadly smoke into my lungs and arteries....only to cause my doctors to berate me again for being so obstinate.

Then came the day that I could no longer sweep the visible effects of smoking under the rug.  Friends, and family, doctors, and total strangers would stare at me while I was drawing in more smoke to cough on....and simply shake their heads in disgust and  bewilderment.  Nicotine finally had me lock, stock and barrell.  I had been recognized as an irresponsible and suicidal idiot that would not quit.  Then one day, I began to see a glimmer of hope, in that I had begun to successfully put together a few days away from another deadly habit of mine.  On the 22 day, (69 days ago) I threw out all of my old smokes, lighters, ashtrays, and periphenalia...that went along with smoking, and prayed for strentgth, and reached out to this community for acceptance and understanding.  Every since then, I have blogged almost everyday, certainly anytime that I considered picking up again, and kept tally of all of the health factors that began to return to my life.  I would call, or email my doctor andd brag about how I wasn't smoking anymore.  She would give me attaboys, and tell me how proud of my she was.  Then I began to count up all of the extra money that I was saving. coupled with the great physical health that was "rapidly" returning....I truly began to experience freedom, the same way that countless others on this site describe it.  It no longer is a part of someone elses life...."it" (smokefree living) is now very much a "Huge part of MY LIFE" today!!!!  It can happen to you as well....you simply have to believe it, and "DO IT"!  Nothin to it...but to do it!!!! remember this, it is YOUR decision to make, not ours.....good luck.....xoxoxoxo Pops with 69 Days of Freedom....Woo Hoo!!!!!

[Chuck-2-20-2011]

For me, getting started quitting was harder than the quit itself! The first day I decided to really consider quitting as a reality, I started shaking. I ended up having a  full blown panic attack just at the thought of quitting. That's when I knew I'd need help and I'd have to find a way to get over that crazy fear.

 It took me a couple of days, but I finally called the quit line in my state and got some patches ordered along with some suggestions and goals to begin completing. To be honest, this was the first time I'd ever thought of the idea of preparing to quit first. That thought just never entered my mind. 

 But I was so badly addicted that I knew I couldn't just wake up one day, slap on a patch and quit successfully. Every morning, I'd cough for at least two hours straight, even as I smoked just to clear the damage from the day before that I'd done to myself.

 It's OK to be scared. We all were at first and I think the fear really is a fear of the unknown. At least that was the case with me. It's human nature to fear the unknown so for me the best thing that I ever thought of doing was spending a little time preparing for the day that I could finally be free. Believe me, a little knowledge can go a long ways when it comes to alleviating that fear.

 By the time I was finished learning, I'd already dealt with what was about to happen to me. I knew how I'd feel and I knew how to fight it. So please, take a little time to learn addiction before completely giving up. It'll be time well spent and you might discover as so many others here have that it really is something you can do.

 Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide. In the meantime, we'll be here for you whenever you might need us!

Welcome and ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Sometimes the only way to get started is to 

IN

Follow the guideline accompanying  this blog

CLICK ON THIS LINK

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2018/11/26/enough-is-enough?sr=search...‌

TO

EX

[Barb102]

So much wonderful information for you to take in. Believe you can do this because you can. We are doing it so can you. You just have to make the decision that you want to quit more than anything. Once you do that please take all of this info. Then pledge with us everyday. Let us know how you are doing and what we can do to help you. We have all been where you are right now. Now we want you to be where we are right now. You can do this we are here for you

[ShellyDabrio]

I thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope with me,. Having celebrated 25 years of freedom from all “other substances” just yesterday, I myself am baffled! I pray daily for the strength and courage to put down this nicotine before it kills me. My mind feels ready and yet I wake up feeling like I was run over and grab for my cigarettes. Unfortunately I live on pain management , so after having 3 failed back surgeries that left me disabled I hurt constantly. Mornings are my nemesis and I tell myself I need to smoke to start my body, honestly the surge of epinephrine does help, I’ve recently asked my Doc about this and was given more pain meds and an antidepressant. I’m just feeling hopeless today, not a pity party just defeated. I too have enjoyed the freedom from other addictions and I know if I can just start I’ll be ok. I’ll try again in the AM , Thanks Pop! Love the cats!! Michelle

From Michelle

[Strudel]

You are in exactly the right place! I came here after 40 years of smoking. I did the reading mentioned above - especially the Carr book - and I got the support from the wonderful people here. And I quit! That was 8 years ago and I am amazed still that I was able to get past the fear you describe. 

You CAN do this! Stay close - keep reading and listening. Welcome to EX! 

[Mandolinrain]

Shelly I was where you are In fact many of us were and we l share the doubts because we all had them. Please do stick with us and let us help you. Do the suggested reading. Come here often, read, blog and educate yourself before you set a quit date. Thats my advice. My failed quits were directly related to NOT being fully being prepared for what I was about to do ( quit) nor did I fully understand why the craves were so bad ( brain receptors needing fed, )

You can do this and your at the right place for the best support ever. Looking forward to getting to know you. This is entirely doable....and we have your back. Welcome to EX

[Mandolinrain]

I hope your feeling better Ken, you sure had us scared

[elvan]

I had many failed quits and then I got so sick that I couldn't smoke even if I had wanted to...I have COPD with irreversible damage to my lungs.  If I had EX, I would not have had so many failed quits.  Who knows?  I could have been one of those people who quit and made it the first time out, they DO exist.

Ellen

[virgomama]

I've been right where you're at.  I had several quits under my belt once for an entire year.  Finally after one of those failed quits I made one commitment to myself.  That I would not quit quitting.  That may sound strange, but I was so disgusted with myself and frustrated that I couldn't stay quit it was the only goal I could set at the time.  So I'd quit and start.  Think about it and quit again. 

I finally started going online and googling quit smoking sites.  There are plenty out there.  I finally landed on this one.  I was slow to warm up, but as I started reading other people's experiences and saw myself in their stories I perked up.  Then I started researching the science of nicotine addiction and it wasn't such a personal failure.  I was fighting an addiction not just a "habit".

I started reading about people's quit plans and how important being prepared was for a successful quit.  I started really thinking I might be able to do this.  Once I got it in my gut that I had to approach this like an addiction, I could wrap my head around quitting and actually succeeding. 

This EX community gave me my last quit.  The information and support I gained here is incalculable.  Please stay with us.  Read, study, blog if you want.  Just don't stop wanting and trying to quit, because someday if you keep your thoughts in that direction it will happen.

[MarilynH]

Good morning ShellyDabrio how are you doing this morning? I hope you're reading here about quitting smoking and remaining quit because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to start living a Smokefree Life you can and will be successful BUT you must believe it and pick your quit date so when your Day ONE arrives you'll be able to say at the end of the day YAY for Day WON with many more to come..... 

[elvan]

How about if you make that title GIVING UP about smoking...THAT is what you need to give up.  NEVER quit quitting.

[ShellyDabrio]

Thank you Nancy that was very informative, I just started the easy way read and will be following the links you posted, I have to do this my family needs me,

From Michelle

[Mrs.Brock]

I've been there. Well, not exactly ...we all have different journeys. But, hang in there. You are worth the liberation of being smoke free. I am at 1036 days. I feel like everything has changed. I know myself in way I never did in the past. You can do it! Do something to pamper yourself.  I get my nails done. It makes me feel good. ✌    -Mrs. Brock

[MarilynH]

How are you doing ShellyDabrio? We're all here to help rooting for you.....