Hello everyone, I am 11 days now and I started thinking is something devastating happened in my family at this point I would go right back to cigarettes. Please tell me I’ll be able to conquer that when the time comes, but I’m very afraid need help.
You can take control back from the addiction by deciding NOW what you can do if that situation occurs. You could smoke, OR you could go for a walk, call a friend, take slow/deep breaths, beginning with this exercise and going slower and deeper with each repetition:
pound a pillow, excuse yourself from the situation (hang up the phone or leave the room with a "need to use the bathroom" excuse). You can always be in control with what you choose to engage.
@Donnamoryc Congratulations on making it to day 11! Shows you are serious about your health and wellbeing. You have probably survived through some difficult days, so be kind to youself and celebrate each victory. Part of the journey of quitting nicotine, is learning other ways to cope, than self-harm. Life is going to happen, but once you understand that nicotine will not change one thing, you will find other ways to cope. Nicotine will NOT take away your sorrow or your anger or your sadness. Nicotine will NOT make you feel better, cos nicotine destroys your health.
You will hear us say no smoking "no matter what". The "what" is when you are mad at or have an argument with someone, etc. You can fill in your own "what". I have had to learn to stay out of my thinking feelings and not allow those feelings to rule me. Stay strong and committed to the nonsmoking life. We used nicotine as a crutch for all of our emotions. Quitting means we can find other, healthy ways to cope with life.
@Donnamoryc congratulations on 11 days--that is great!! I understand the fear that something intense would make you go back to smoking--I thought some issues that came up might make me do that, they didn't. Be firm in your mind that there is nothing at all that can cause you to go back. I told myself repeatedly, smoking is simply not an option anymore and I would recall that I had hated smoking for a long time before my quit date and would just want to quit again, so why not stay quit now. You might have a mantra that resonates with you. Self talk can be so important when it is healthy self talk. I think it is good that you are thinking about what you will do if something happens and having a plan to handle stressors is so important. You CAN remain nicotine free, you really CAN. There is a lot of great advice here and people who care. Continue to post and check in often. We don't have to smoke/vape anymore. We are doing the hard work of quitting and we can continue to do it. Wishing you the very best.
@Donnamoryc I believe this is a common fear for many of us, especially early in our quits. It can take a few years before we experience many of the challenges of life as a non-smoker. You will become more confident when you meet each of those challenges head on without smoking.
Some challenges we can anticipate, while others are unexpected. My first challenge was losing my dog during the first year of my quit. As she was aging, I knew that was coming soon and I feared how I would react. Being committed and having the support of others here at the Ex helped to remind me "that I don't do that anymore". I won't say it was easy, but we become stronger and more confident with time.
Congratulations on your quit!!! Keep going. As for fears or other thoughts and feelings that come up and make you wonder about how you will stay smober, one-day-at-a-time thinking is for people just like you and me! I was in a very difficult situation over five years ago, having been quit for five years--I did not smoke. I knew then that life's happenings would never be a reason for me to smoke, only I would be. All hooks of the addiction end, eventually, we get to choose. One day at a time, one step at a time you can build the quit you trust.
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