Felt Like I was Being Punished!

[charlie411]

Yesterday I posted a blog about my 1st week of non smoking and severl of the hurdles I made it over and how I was a successful non smoker as of now.

During this post I mentioned something to me was just in passing.  This was the fact that I still had 5 cigarettes on hand that had not been smoked.

I thought I had broken the Golden Rule!  Everyone that read my blog did not see anything I said except that i still had 5 unsmoked cigarettes.

Comments came flooding in.  "GET RID OF THOSE CIGARETTES NOW"   "YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT!"  

This went on and on.  Almost everyone that read my post came back at me with both hands in the air waving danger, danger.  I felt like a kid getting scolded.  

Needless to say I did not like this!  I know you all meant well but the way you approaced it was, to me, unacceptable.  I have now decided to keep those cigarettes until the cows come home instead of trashing them like I had planned to.  

I plan on continuing my journey of being a non smoker and enjoying a much better and happier life.

Charlie

[Thomas3.20.2010]

It's your Quit Journey, Charlie, and I support your effort! You have done so well to get through the first Week. And yes, you deserve Kudos for this awesome accomplishment! You know the risk you're taking and Quitting is all about Choice! So I wish you the Best!

[Kimshine]

Charlie, You really did do well through your first week. I am sorry if you felt scolded. I am pretty sure that most everyone mentioned getting rid of the cigarettes for your protection. It was meant out of concern for your quit.

Congratulations on your first week Charlie!!

Keep up the good work!

[Jennifer-Quit]

Congratulations on one week!  This is your quit - do it your way!  Everyone here gives the best advise they can - no harm was meant - we all just try to help the best way we can and our intentions are good.  Best wishes to you!

[TerrieQuit]

Oh Charlie I am so sorry I never meant my comment as punishment! I appreciate your honesty! It is your quit, Handle it as you see fit. You have done great so far! I could not have kept cigarettes around and not caved, but I am I and you are you! Yor are doing well, Carry on!

I Won't Quit on my Quit!

[Deena-A-Yenni]

I had kept cigarettes in the house during a quit as well.  Sadly, for me, they were too easily available when I was weak.  I didn't read your post yesterday but please know the members of this site only want what's best for you and I'm sorry you felt punished??  I don't blog for fear I can't handle the comments emotionally??  But have found solice in reading and I comment when I feel comfortable in doing so.  I also feel comfortable in reaching out to any of the elders.   Any of it's members would give you their time one-on-one??  So feel comfortable in reaching out.  Do anything but leave the site.  Your life depends on it.  Aaaaaaaannnnnnd.  Congrats on your quit!!!!!

[ShawnP]

I am sorry that you felt like you were scolded. There is many of us that had kept some in the house, thinking that we would never touch them again but, when something happens to upset us, the first thing we are doing is looking for  that cigarette. If they weren't there, we wouldn't act on impulse. Smoking was our crutch to stress and problems. Best wishes on this new journey!

Congratulations on one week!!

[carolynt]

Charlie I wanted to share with you that I quit Sept.10, 2015, five months ago.  I had a full pack (minus one) and for me I couldn't throw them away.  I actually put them along with my lighter in a drawer in my bedroom and that was just the way I felt I needed to do my quit.  My husband is a smoker and there are always cigarettes in a kitchen cabinet any way.  I had dated the last pack because I had been cutting down and I had to do this to keep up with how many I had smoked in a day.

I think everyone has to go about quitting in their own way and for me this was very important.  That pack stayed there until about a week ago and I finally felt it was time to let them go.  Still 19 cigarettes in the pack and I took them and the ligthter and gave them to my husband to smoke.  You know yourself better than anyone and if you really feel this is your way to quit then congratulations and just keep going one day at a time.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

 Hi Charlie,

Congrats on your quit. I did not see your initial post so I went back to read it. Yes there were those who did advice you to get rid of the smokes and also tthose who didn’t. Some call it "tough" love.  lol . As quitters sometimes we hold on to things like security blankets which I believe is just part of the nicotine addiction. 

 I held on to a crystal lighter and a crystal silver trimmed ashtray.  By no means was I going to throw them away.   So I put them in a place out of sight and hard to reach where I would not think about them..  That was over a year ago.  I recently pulled them out and display them with the rest of my crystal. . In fact I had I never used  but I wasn't going to take the risk.  As you grow more into your quit you will start to think like a nonsmoker.   You will not want cigarettes around. .It will always be your choice.to decide when. Enjoy your freedom and don't sweat the small stuff.

[Giulia]

Gee Charllie, did the recommendation to get rid of those last ciarettes negate all the congratulations you also got on your first smoke-free week?  We weren't trying to "punish" you, we were trying to give you our best advice to protect your quit based upon our own experience.  What you said made all the red danger flags go up because we've seen negative outcomes from the practice of keeping them.  That's all.  To not warn you would be to not do our due diligence.

Anyway it's your quit and you do whatever you want, obviously.  And I'm glad you spoke up about it.  We don't know that our approach is not appreciated unless someone tells us.  Now that you have, we will approach you differently. 

May your journey be empowering. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

How about "Keep Them Away From Your Face?"

[froguelady]

I couldn't get any cigarettes around when I quit, if I had them I would smoke them. On the other hand I have a friend that quit 20 years ago and for the first year she carried an unopened pack in her purse and kept the rest of the carton on top of her fridge. That would not have worked for me but then everyone is different. I am sorry you felt "scolded" but I am sure that was not their intention. If keeping those doesn't bother you but there is always a chance you might smoke one so I am sure you were being warned of danger of having a smoke handy.

You are doing good, please stay with us as I am sure you want to quit and we will support you all the way.

[Sootie]

I did not comment on your "keeping 5 blog" so I went back to read. The comments you got were uplifting and supportive......as G said.....did the fact that you were warned about keeping cigarettes negate all of those "congratulations" and "good jobs"? You actually said...." I am sure most of you will say to trash them............" So you kind of expected the comments......right?

In any case, I am always of the opinion you can quit any way you want to..........as long as you quit. We only want to offer advice from what has happened in the past. No one meant to "scold".

Glad you are here.....glad you are doing well....stay strong

[Mrs.Rum]

If we were to overlook a danger sign like keeping smokes on hand - we would be doing you a disservice.  It's really, really dangerous to a quit to have them on hand.

I mean, it's your quit.  But, in the end, this tantrum will hinder rather than help you get where you want to go.  You aren't punishing us, you're setting yourself up to fail and making sure you can blame us when it happenes.

A week is a hard won victory, please don't jeopardize it like this.

[prague]

I understand. When I initially entered this site, I identified it as "a soft place to fall". I was corrected in thinking this site is forgiviing. For the most part, it's not. It's, as I see it, tough love and compimentary comments on goals achieved. Who am I to judge? I'm still a smoker. The assistance to the goal of quitting is in the eyes of the beholder....whatever works.

But, I must say, I'm impressed by the passion and caring of those who comment. They are true advocates, They have so very much to offer.