Big time relapse!

[maryai59]

My 1st quit date was June 28 I was doing well, but I had absolutely zero support no friends, family or even my husband were helpful in anyway. No one tryed to quit smoking in front of me when they were in my home. I couldnt put away ashtrays or lighters cigerettes. Not only that but Im not a drinker and my husbands friends are and things can get pretty nerve racking. Then others stressfull situations started happening, and about 2 1/2 weeks ago i started again. I had gotten along fairly well with out patches gum or medication. Still im smoking far less than what I was , thats not good enough. Im going to quit again. I must I want to get healthy. I need to start tapering now! My new quit date is this Sunday. I disapointed myself so much! But I've decided there is at least 1 person i n my life I absolutely must end my relationship with. She has caused so much stress in my life and think in alot of ways I let her push me over the brink! She simply overwhelms me with drama and negativity! I know its ultimately up to me and cant blame anyone. But it would help to have some support and some peace in my own home especially.  So anyone have any suggestions , support, encouragement prayers?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

We can't do much about your home environment. If they won't smoke outside, find another place for yourself during those times. They will get the hint. You don't have to be huffy about it, simply leave. They are either for you or against you in this journey.

When you have to be around smokers, put a little vicks under your nose.

Try to get through the first 130 days with willingness not arguing with yourself.

read the blogs.

keep writing

[misty_dawn]

Nailed it, Jonesy.

Stick with your quit.. it helps if you replace the smoking with something else. that something else will become the habit... 

[Eric_L.]

Hi!  I believe that you can stop smoking. 

You are not required to feel ashamed.  You can ask for what you want.  Everyone's home environment is different and it's annoying that they are smoking.

I believe that they may be rude, however, once you stop believing that smoking offers you anything than you can be free.

Please keep reading and writing.

You can do this.

Bookend your days here.

You can do this.

I kept smoking for years because I believed that if I stopped the world would fall apart.  That doesn't make sense.  Non-smokers don't become smokers usually, as adults, so I don't believe that others smoking will make me smoke.

Keep saying to yourself I don't do that anymore and then redirect your thoughts to something else.  Distraction is good right now.

For most the first 130 are up and down and then the cravings get less but stronger and then life starts to get better.

For me the first 250 days I felt progressively crazier and then the next 250 days I felt progressively saner.

You can do this.

[constanceclum]

If it's any consolation, my husband and housemate are alcoholics and smokers. I am an alcoholic that used my husbands drinking and smoking as an excuse to keep relapsing on both. It's easier now that we have moved because our lease says we can not smoke in the house. BUT in the end, I have to be accountable to myself for my health. 

1 thing I am doing to help is taking my money I save from my not smoking ($160.00/mo) for myself. To spend, save for Christmas or vacation or whatever I choose. The first thing to come out of the check is to pay myself. I never one time in my life didn't smoke because of not having the money.

It is more of a challenge but it's doable. I'm only on day 11 so we will do this together. Like Dale said, and what I'm doing is avoiding my husband when he is drinking and smoking and get rid of toxic people for no other reason than your mental health. Life is not worth living if you don't have serenity. One day at a time!

Connie

[elvan]

I am so sorry that this is such a difficult time for you but I am THRILLED that you are planning your next quit and that you already are planning to remove someone from your life.  I don't know the relationship with that person but you have a right to protect yourself, don't think about anything else.  Your quit should be your newborn and should get exactly the same amount of attention without any regard for others.

Dale absolutely did nail it...go outside when others smoke, use Vicks.  You can do this, they may not WANT to get the message but they will.

We are here for you, blog, blog, and blog some more...show them that you have people who ARE supporting you.  Talk about the site, I did that, relentlessly.

Best,

Ellen

[TerrieQuit]

Hi, Mary, I am glad you are back. Please stay. We are here for support and encouragement! Keep reading and blogging and try to get here every day!

Don't Quit on your Quit!

[maryai59]

Thanks all for your support and encouragement. I just finished a cigarette  about half hour ago and since have been feeling a little nauseous and congested maybe thats a good thing, I sure dont like it! Still plan on visiting an herbal store this weekend, to check out some herbal remedies thats suppose to help curb cravings. Prefer that over patches and meds. Im tending to lean more to natural cures and remedies than traditional in all my health decisions.( Sort of have an issue with big pharma) But understanding and supportive people will be a big plus!

[plug66]

maybe you can't stop hubby from smoking in the house, but he is the only one that would, make it known to them....no smoking in my house...my daughter in law won't even smoke in my apt...its called respect, and i've told her she could, but no way

[tjanddj]

Glad you decided to get back here. Keep coming back here and blog away and let us know how it is going. Sorry about the smoking that is going around you. My husband smoked outside but he did smoke in the car but it never bothered me to be around other smokers. I always remembered this was my quit not theirs. I do understand that some people have a hard time with other smokers around and just maybe the vicks under your nose will work. Give it a try. I shall pray that you are your husband will come to an agreement about smoking around you and in the house.   

[MePlus3]

Hold on to this quit tight and remember SINAO no matter what! Tell yourself they are not appealing anymore they stink they make you nauseated and effect your overall health begin to despise the very thought of putting them in your system recognize them for the filth they are. Thats what I do my stepdad smokes around me sometimes and I slipped numerous of times because of that so in this quit I made up in my mind no matter WHO no matter WHAT it's over! I'm only on day 11 but I'm making it around other smokers. Set goals start with one week NO matter what you're going to make it to one week! Then 10 days DDC double digit club then triple digits for the holidays. Like Ellen said your quit is your newborn it's beautiful it's precious do all you can to nurture and protect it and watch it grow before your eyes! You can do this! And who knows one day your husband may see the benefits of your quit and one day join you but don't push it just do it for you and you'll be so glad you did!

[maryai59]

I think Im going to push my quit date out a little further, I've been reseaching herbs that could be helpful. will be buying those tomorrow! Have just seen my therapist and am learning dbt therapy grounding ususally used for ptsd but also proven to help addiction & cravings.  Have ended a relationship with a "supposed " friend but was actually toxic to my emotional well being. Now I also have all of you, my 2 true friends I see on a regular basis and my church family and prayers! Positive attitude right now! Thanks every one! You'll be hearing from me again soon!