Thank you

[christy37]

When I came to this site, I was looking for support and encouragement to quit smoking and I was overwhelmed by the support from people like Cindy, Shill, Owl, Nancy, Connie, both Jo Jo's, Rick, Dale, Joy, Christine and many more. I stayed close to this forum and did all the recommended reading. 

I wish I was one of the people who can take what they need and leave the rest, but I'm just not. I have realized that the constant telling me I am going to fail if I do as little as ask for good luck is not helpful at all. I already feel like a failure and don't need any assistance from anyone who has already decided that I would fail. I just want to get through the first week so I can utilize the long term advice everyone has given me. 

Unfortunately, I am going to leave the forum but I wanted to let those that reached out to me know that I appreciate your words of encouragement and advice. I'm sure it's frustrating to have new quitters come and leave constantly. Please don't stop helping people.

Christy

[stonecipher]

Hope I wasn't one of the doom-predictors. I don't recall that I said something discouraging to you but I may have.  I personally don't believe in luck, in any area of life.  It's just a matter of words and what they mean. To some, wishing a person luck implies that there is nothing in your control to determine the outcome.  Like it's a roll of the dice and you will quit smoking only if you are one of the "lucky" ones.  That is not the way most of the people here think.  Including, might I say especially, Dale.

  If you can find a site with more consistent help and encouragement, then you should move on, certainly.  But "good luck" with that.  Just kidding.

God bless you and may you find what you seek.

[christy37]

Stonechipper, I'm sorry I forgot to include you in my thank you. You have been nothing but supportive. It really wasn't anyone in particular, just the tone of certain messages. I feel very defeated and guess I can't handle the truth. I think people forget how hard the first 3 days are. Until I can get the nicotine out of my system, the truth will just seem like concepts to me.

[stonecipher]

I think I know what you mean.  Hearing, "Just quit smoking, silly goose!" is not helpful, I agree.  And for myself, I do not respond well to the horrible pictures and scary stories that are supposed to make me want to never smoke again.  Those things always made me want to smoke more. Even today I think, well I may still succumb to those fates, so I question my decision to quit instead of being reinforced in it!!! I turn away from those images, for my own sake and sanity.

I am a newbie, so I don't want to sound like I really know what I'm talking about, but I think I have made it this far because of some of the things on this site, some of the things in Carr's book, some of the things on quitsmokingonline.  But in each of these sites there were things that I trained myself to ignore because going there was going to discourage me, not help.  It was like putting blinders on and realizing that those things are for OTHER people's benefit, not mine.

I have been reading back through some of your blogs.  You sound very intelligent and very interested in quitting so I have no doubt you will. And I think you have helped people here while you were here.  We all can learn from each other.

[christy37]

Exactly!! It feels so good to know someone gets it. I have never failed at anything that I really gave my all to. I think I am afraid to quit smoking because I know I will succeed. Thanks so much for making me not feel so alone in this and understanding, it really makes me feel so much better. 

I'm gonna stay off all blogs until I at least get through the first week. I don't think there are any blogs better than this one. I have already requested that my account be deleted, which I have read takes 5 days.

Thanks again Stonechipper and congrats on your quit,

Christy

[warriorprincess]

Even though I have no idea of what is going on I do believe its a bad idea to leave so early on in your quit. Even though you arent liking what some of the other members are telling you, you need to realize that they really are rooting for you and want to see you succeed. In my first week of my quit, I was very emotional and angry ( I still am even after 35 days) and sometimes took what people said very personally. For example, I was ( and still am) stressed out about gaining weight, and wrote several blogs about it. I cant tell you how many people were like "dont worry about it"  "thats the last thing you need to worry about" or just downright made me feel silly for worrying about it. In a way they were right, because the main focus right now should be the qutiting smoking. But gaining weight was important to me. It was a VALID feeling that I had and these people were dismissing it. I gave myself a few days to cool off and decided that no matter what, these people had my best interest at heart.

Smoking is an addiction. And for some reason, I just seemed to grasp the fact that I was an addict. I had tried quitting in the past and relapsed several times. My family was very supportive but the last time I relapsed my mother and father got very angry. They asked me how many time should they be supportive when I fail? If I was a cocaine addict should they be supportive as well? This last time they became very tough on me. They told me if I failed again they wouldnt support me. THinking back on it now, I dont blame them. With their support when I failed, it enabled me to have that security blanket just in case..the same happened when I had gained alot of weight a couple years back. It took my sister telling me that I look like an elephant to finally snap somehting inside me to start doing something.

Regardless of what you decide, you need to think about YOU. Your health and your success. Quitting smoking is all a mind game after the 72 hours and you need to train your mind to think as a non smoker. Please dont leave until u find another support group. Because your quit is very important and you cant fail!!! I wish you continued success in your quit and hope you know that this group is here for you if you need us

[pir8fan]

I am sorry that you are leaving! Where ever you go, and whatever you do, keep your Focus!! Never lose your Determination!! You can do this! There are a lot of people here who would like to share in your success! If you ever feel like we can help you, we will be here! Always!       Tommy

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

"I think I am afraid to quit smoking because I know I will succeed."

I guess I just don't get it.

[SmokedOut041412]

Christy,

I've always felt one needs to do what works for them.

After having multiple failed attempts myself and feeling very low, I too made a decision to leave this site. I was gone about a year.

Maybe we will see you in the future. If not-- just remember, never quit quitting.

best wishes,

Teresa

[stonecipher]

I don't know; maybe it's a girl thing, guys.

[Ex_Nancy]

Truly a mystery to me too.

[christy37]

WarriorPrincess, It's not that I don't like the advice or even agree with it. Logically and rationally it makes all the sense, but I can't seem to apply it. You have done great and I know how frusterating weight issues are especially with a thyroid problem. I'm so glad you know that smoking won't fix that, but I'm sure it's still hard. I'm going to miss your blogs.

Happy Birthday Tommy!! Thanks for the encouraging words. I know deep down I can do this, I just have to want it bad enough.

Mike and Dale, I really can't explain it any better than Stonechipper did. One of the many things I have learned from this site is I have to really want to quit, which I did 4 months ago, but have lost much of that desire. I need to go evaluate my reasons for quitting because I sure don't have any good reasons for staying a smoker!!

[JACKIE38]

sorry, you are leaving, as a good friend on here said when i left a year ago,

WE WILL LEAVE A LIGHT ON FOR YOU,

hope you come back when your ready, never give up trying to quit i never did and here i am back again ,for the last time.  i know that for sure this time

best wishes to you where ever you     jackie

remember we will leave a light on for you.

[JACKIE38]

sorry, you are leaving, as a good friend on here said when i left a year ago,

WE WILL LEAVE A LIGHT ON FOR YOU,

hope you come back when your ready, never give up trying to quit i never did and here i am back again ,for the last time.  i know that for sure this time

best wishes to you where ever you     jackie

remember we will leave a light on for you.

[christy37]

Teresa, thanks for the encouragement. I need to find the inner strength to do this. Nobody can quit for me. I can't rely on the forum or blame the forum for my own insecurites. I'm glad you came back, I might do the same but not until I am a non-smoker.

[Ex_Nancy]

I'm sorry you are leaving.....come back when you are ready....in the meantime you can register with your State Quitline...perhaps that will help.

[christy37]

Thank you so much Jackie!! That means a lot.

[christy37]

Thanks Nancy!! I haven't thought about the quitline.

[SmokedOut041412]

Christy, you're quite welcome. 

I know you will find that inner strength because you are searching. You will find your forever quit. The N.O.P.E. 

I think I had a month quit (give or take) when I came back to the site.

I had had several more failed attempts in the year I was away from here. You may be different though.

I can only say, I finally reached the point I would rather be smokfree than continue the path I was on. Back and forth (as you know) is draining---physically and mentally.

Hang in there---You will get there.

I won't forget you---I'll be thinking of you and hopefully you will return when ready 🙂

[JonesCarpeDiem]

i know all these thoughts may only seem like concepts to you right now but these

concepts, taken to heart and put into practice are what make a successful quit.

i'm going to give you one more

you don't have to want to quit.

you heard me right.

you have to decide to quit.

you do not have to want to quit.

i didn't want to quit. wasn't one iota of desire within me to quit.

a friend suggested it would be good for me to quit and it would be an example to his

brother who was a long time smoker also. he asked me to consider it.

i did and I DECIDED I would after 3 weeks. that was 5 1/2 years ago

[Giulia]

I'm going to echo that remark of Dale's.  I didn't want to quit AT ALL.  Had ZERO desire to quit.  Just knew it was the right thing to do.  You have to be an idiot to not know smoking will kill you.  I spent a month getting my head in gear, did my prep work, reading, blogging, studying the addiction, knew what I was in for, and put them down.  I gave myself a time limit of 40 days.  I said, "if you want to go back and smoke after being free for 40 days - you go right ahead."  I knew full well that I wouldn't - go right ahead.  Because I knew I'd never want to go through the initiation stage again.  Ever.  And I haven't.  Six years free thus far.  I recommend it.  Ain't no doubt in my mind you can get there.  What do you want?  Ask yourself that.

When you're ready again - you'll be back.  I've no doubt.  I just hope it's not 20 years later.  For then it may be - too late for you. 

[bella65]

im sorry to see u go im At 9in half months second quit i had to quit i did it for my health everyone gave u good advice take care and come back when ready to

[JonesCarpeDiem]

please go read this blog from earlier today.

She has done everything right in my opinion to be successful.

She didn't put a bunch of stress on herself with a date. She started saying no

She has empowered herself with her quit and thus her quit will only get stronger

She hasn't stressed out, she's made the temporary changes she's had to make in order to succeed.

She has a plan for the hard times.

She has a shake off thought (like biting into a lemon or sticking your head in a freezer for 10 seconds)

http://community.becomeanex.org/pg/blog/read/5236230/5-weeks-smoke-free-tomorrow

[christy37]

Dale and Giulia, I have more respect for you both now, knowing that you didn't actually want to quit. I read Dale's blog and knew he quit on basically a dare. Which is pretty amazing. This last attempt, I thought I made the decision not to smoke no matter what. I did surprisingly well for 20 hrs then all of the sudden, I  tore up my sun visor and in the worst exorcism voice, I told my husband that he was going to stop at the nearest store, not the most convenient or cheapest, and buy me a pack of smokes. I really felt possessed, and I wasn't even on Chantix at the time. Lol 

Giulia, I don't think I have 20 more years. I'm only 38 but I already have some of the early warning signs, high cholesterol + moderately high blood pressure, and a family history of diabetes, kidney disease, stroke, heart disease, neuropathy, vein disease, etc. I know it's time. I just have to do this without relying on other people.

[christy37]

Dale, I just read her blog and it was very inspirational. I have been practicing your advice to just delay smoking and it has worked wonders. I just can't think about N.O.P.E or I panic and chain smoke. It's not that I don't agree with NOPE but it's just too much for me at this point. Thanks for sharing her blog.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

We are not here to slow you up or make you stumble. we want to help you and everybody here circumvent wasted time and help each of you get through this as quickly as we possibly can.

don't make quitting any bigger than it is. you actually have the power to do this and have control of it.

you just, as yet, haven't taken possession.

it's there

[Dakota_Posse]

Am so so sorry that I wasn't here when you posted your "goodbye".  Not that I would have tried to talk you out of your decision to leave......I truly know how important it is to do what you need to do......

Please know that no matter where you go, what you do, or who you meet....you have people here who will always be here as long as this Site exists....we'll leave the light on!!!

I wish you strength, love and happiness!

Cindy