back after almost 3 years...

[free2be2]

Hi everyone!

Here I am again . It's been almost 3 years free of smoking. My quit date was 08/25/14. 

Being totally confident that I was never going to pick up that cigarette again. I was doing so well.

I started slowly.. having 1 cigarette maybe once a week socially, then 2 or 3 . After a month or so it steadily progressed to the same amount I was smoking before I quit, 10-15 cigs a day.. It's been almost 3 months now that I am back to the habit I don't like. Mad at myself.. I can't believe it I am doing it to myself again. At least now I know where to go and what to do.

Hoping that I can do it again and be smarter next time.. I have hope, but I know it's not going to be easy. 

Grateful for this place with so much support and information, going to dig all info that helped me last time. Picking up the date again.. July 1st really spoke to me, Don't want to prolong this agony .. 

Any advice and support would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you.

[MarilynH]

I'm so sorry that you relapsed but I am really glad that you picked a new quit date, I just want you to get your quit back so you can take back your life again and hang on tight and never let go to the best gift that any of us will ever give ourselves which is the gift of LIFE.free2be2

[free2be2]

thank you. It's definitely sucking the life out of me right now

[JonesCarpeDiem]

people give themselves permission to consider smoking, just like you did.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I had a saying on my page

"Your quit will be yours 'til you don't want it anymore."

[free2be2]

yes I did. I don't know what I was thinking...  maybe I thought I was cured. 

[Mandolinrain]

I remember you! I'm so glad your back. Sorry to hear you smoked but your here now and that's what's important .youant romance the smoke...it's a dangerous thing to do.

im almost at three years come September. No matter how many years quit we have to remain vigilant . No complacency can be allowed ......we are addicts ... no cure. I Know one puff and I'm will be back to a pack a day in no time..

we will help you regain the freedom...you can do it...geese, I'm glad you came back!

[free2be2]

Thank you! 

We quit about the same time then! 

Yes , complacency totally got me. I'm glad I can come back and have support and hope. It's hard to do it alone.  Stay strong my friend!

[Diannnnn]

Hi Lana.

Thanks for coming back and sharing your experience. I am working on my first quit and learning of experiences such as yours help me arm myself against possible pitfalls. You got this and I believe in you. You did, in my opinion, one of the hardest things; you admitted that you had a relapse in public in front of those who helped you before. Makes you pretty darn brave in my book. Someone with that much intestinal fortitude can send this addiction packing.

You've got this!

Dian

[free2be2]

Thank you! you're so sweet! I feel the support here and it gives me the strength to keep going even if it means I start from the scratch again. 

[Angie-Lah]

What Mandolinrain‌ said is right on point. Don't romance the smoke. I think I've made it as long as I have because somewhere along the line, I reprogrammed my brain to associate cigarettes with revulsion. I still never let my guard down, but my feelings on cigarettes have so completely reversed that I don't think I'd ever feel even a smidge of desire to have another cigarette. I also harbor a LOT of anger toward cigarettes and tobacco companies for what my dad is going through. You've quit before, you can do this again. Once you get that quit firmly under your belt though, you can't ever let yourself look back with fondness, or think that just one cigarette with a beer and friends won't hurt anything. It's insidious and will absolutely wreck your quit in no time if you relax your guard at all.