'What is it about nicotine?'
Well as a quitter for 8.3 years now, I cannot enlighten you beyond what has already been said--it's an addiction. I can tell you that when I quit, I was letting go of a 24/7/365 dependency.
It is well kknown that in order to get over this addiction, we need to change our behavior. Many who want to quit, wish they could change their mind instantly--to be done with smoking, to be happy and positive about quitting. But most of us have to commit to numerous actions per day in order to retrain ourselves. In time the brain heals from demanding doses of nicotine and it becomes easier to love quitting. At first though we have to do the grunt work--establish new routines by practicing.
You can help yourself by making a long list of things that you are willing to do other than smoke. Try to make this list all about what you really are willing to do--not what you think you should be willing to do.
Most of us have our personal favorites--I walked downtown a lot, walked up hill, bought nature books second hand, went to yard sales, avoided triggers, watched comedies...these are a few of the things that were on my list.
I can't stress enough how this is not about behaving good, or complying or trying to feel things we don't. If you hate craves you are normal. We all did. Craves are nasty little tricks that the brain pulls so that it can feel relieved by getting the drug it is so used to.
Learning to get past craves is what behavior modification will help with.
You are here! You are making an effort to quit for yourself. That's your sanity shining through the addiction. You can do this one day at a time.
