Hi, everyone. I'm a history teacher, as you might have guessed by my name, lol!
Oh, I wish we had smilies here. It's so much more interesting and fun to write when there are those little people to play with! LOL!
Ok, well, here's my story:
I relapsed after a two year quit. I look back and can see all the reasons why I relapsed. In the end, I didn't do what I had to do to stay quit. I didn't practice those behaviors that helped me quit.
But, here are some of the factors that led to my relapse. I'm telling you so that you can learn from my error, and indeed, you may help me. Because, the fact is, much of it was beyond my control!
1. I live in the North East and we had an early, and long, harsh winter. I have long suffered from seasonal affective disorder, (SAD) -- a seasonal depression. SAD, like my quit, is helped by exercise, but...
2. I was not allowed to exercise, due to a medical problem. No exercise at all. Not even walking!
3. I was in a horrible workplace with the worst administrator I've ever worked for for three years. In over 20 years as an educator, I never filed a grievance until I met this man - and I filed @ 13 against him! The stress was terrible!
4. I was then involuntarilly transferred in the middle of the year. The jerk I worked for then threated to have me fired because I couldn't do the impossible!
5. My son went back out. He's a heroin addict who was straight and going to school. He's in a rehab now, thank goodness, but, he slipped this past winter.
6. No raise; no contract; and we all know what the price of gas and oil has done.
7. My doc said I was prediabetic and had to loose weight - without the aide of exercise! (I did! )
So, these are the pressures that I dealt with. And as I said, I didn't even have exercise to help me burn off the steam.
So, my question to you all, then, is this.
How can we deal with these types of stressors when we cannot use our tried and true methods that have helped us stay quit?
I'm not feeling bad for myself. I know I picked up the butts. Bad choice. And it didn't help with the stress either. It only ADDED to the stress by making me feel stupid, feel like a failure, by costing me money I didn't have, and by making me sick again - it's funny how the cough comes right back!
So, what could I have done to ease the pressure valve that was ready to blow, besides smoking, when I couldn't exercise?
Thanks for any advice!
Shalom!
