Have gained nothing positive

[Gwenivere]

I am almost 6 months into this quit.  I’ve never felt worse in my life.  I feel like an oddity as everyone else is so positive about the changes.  I have no motivation as I have many health-and emotional problems that have been exhaserbated since I started this.  I’ve been reluctant to post again because of replies telling me te suck it up, give up the NRTs, I’m making myself worse and other responses that leave me feeling more isolated.  NRT or not, the nicotine delivery or lack of, I tried dropping them, has altered my medications I take daily and cannot find a harmony with anymore.  I have contacted my doctor and it’s one experiment after another.  I am alone in this with no family or friends.  I was forced into this and while I’ve had plenty of time now to educate myself, I’m still left wondering why I feel so much worse.  I can’t take a walk because of pain.  I can’t think clearly because of that, anxiety and bad sleep.  Just ne ede d to vent a bit.  I’m Glad all of you are experiencing positive results.  Wish I could join you.

[Barbscloud]

Gwen,  I know all to well of the struggle not to smoke, but how is smoking productive?

[Gwenivere]

It’s not Barbscloud.  I never meant that. I see why you would say that tho.  Good point.

But for how I feel now, it doesn’t feel productive either.  Although I am using NRTs, the lack of nicotine has thrown off the medical condition meds, my breathing is worse, depression and panic are at an all time high.  My pain levels have soared as well which, ironically, stops me from volunteering which kept me sane and connected to life now that I am a widow.  I am cancelling out odds for smoking related maladies but feeling the ones I have so intensely it brings me to tears.  I really wish I felt one positive thing from his, but I don’t.  

[Barbscloud]

I feel so bad for you.  Wish there was something I could do for you.

[DonnaMarie]

I'm going to jump in and say the you will be productive when you have worked through the other issues you're dealing with. I stopped being productive when I started smoking outside. Way back, and I'm talking 3 decades at least, I smoked inside and when I was working at home, I'd let a cigarette burn almost all the time. I felt productive because I would light a butt, type, light a butt, type, and on and on. Later, I went outside to smoke and took away time that I could be productive on the job. Now, I still work at home, but I don't get up to smoke every hour.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but don't give up. Your productivity is still there

Donna

[elvan]

Thomas3.20.2010‌ I am so sorry to read this and to hear that you are struggling so much.  I cannot go for a walk because I cannot BREATHE but I can use a stationary bike inside in air conditioning.  This too shall pass as you well know.  Things will get better, dearest Thomas.

Sending love and prayers.

Ellen

[DonnaMarie]

It is amazing how we can cope with the stuff that life throws at us. Thanks for sharing.

Donna

[IrishRose]

Thomas3.20.2010‌ , I was thinking about you today.  Know that I continue to hold you deep in my heart and thoughts for you to build strength in mind and body.  Love you, My Dear, Dear Thomas!!!

Gentle (((((hug))))) for you!

[Mandolinrain]

Thinking of you. Sending encouragement and a hug

[DonnaMarie]

I would never say suck it up. At 6 months, I would expect to feel different. I bank a lot on the fact that I don't smoke anymore and use that power to work on other aspects of my life that need my attention.

Having said that, please talk to your doctor about the way you're feeling. If you're exacerbating other things affecting the way you live, you may need some professional opinion on the next steps to take.

Donna

Day 135

[IrishRose]

I just wanted to give this to you...

It's from my backyard.  I hope it puts a smile on your face.  

Gentle ((((((hug)))))) for you too!

Irish Rose