Had a slip

[Thyme]

I had quit for 3.5 months and hardly ever thought about cigarettes or felt like I needed to come to this site anymore. Last night slipped and had 1. I had probably at least 30 minutes of internal battle with myself before it happened. I knew it was a bad idea before I did it but something made me do it. I was around someone smoking in a spot I used to love smoking (summer nights on my back patio). The cigarette tasted disgusting and I can still feel it in my lungs & taste a gross taste in my mouth the next morning. I’m so disappointed in myself. I have tried to quit dozens of times before but this was the longest I’d been smoke free in a long time. I need to set a really firm boundary about not being around people who are smoking. I DO NOT want to start smoking again and I can’t believe I used to smoke 20 of these things a day sometimes. Gross!

[Barbscloud]

@Thyme Welcome back and congrats on your first day.   Don't give up on yourself.  Slips are normal on this journey to becoming an ex. and it's better than a full blown relapse. Be proud of yourself for getting right back on track.  It can take  numerous attempts to finely get it.   I smoked for 50 years and attempted to quit at least 7 times.  I tried all kinds of quit aids.  

No matter how you choose to quit, cold turkey or with aids, you need to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and have a quit plan. Many have found success with knowledge and preparation. I found the Ex a week prior to my quit. For the first time I learned how to quit and had the support that was always lacking.

Go back and reread the quit information and reformat your plan.  What can you  different this time?  Reach out before you smoke.  It's enough time to refocus your thoughts and stay on track.  It works!
https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Make the commitment and you can do this too. We're here to support you on your journey. So reach out anytime you need help, want to share your experience or to support fellow quitters. We're all in this together.

Start your day by taking the Daily Pledge. It's a great way to stay on track on day at a time and keep accountable to yourself.

Stay busy and stay.

Barb

[Maki]

Distract , delay . Do different , don’t smoke  . If it takes not being around other smokers a while , so be it . Every one is different .  I learned after an eight year quit was lost but still had a second slip , but lesson learned . Now you know that one is never enough and one slip can lead to more because you woke the beast which leads to more which leads to relapse . Stop the cycle then it has no where to go and no reason to tempt you . It will know you just don’t buy into its lies or temptation . You  can do that , I know you can .  Now may be a time of dangerous waters for you or one that has given you solidarity to your quit .  Learn from the lesson and don’t give yourself permission to smoke ever again now , no matter what , smoking is not an option for you . 
My advice is get back on track now and stay close to Ex , read , post , journal , share and help others learn that slips are dangerous waters just as you’ve shared . I love that you are being honest with yourself first and foremost about it . Writing it down for you to read will help you too in the future .. hang on to your message you’ve shared here today . In your words if I’m understanding correctly one was not a good idea and It ends now for ever . Forever is sweet ! 
Starve the beast then it won’t come begging for more , I promise ya , ya gotta find your way to starve it , be by those famous words nope , or posting before you get yourself in hot water , no matter how long you have quit . Maybe it will  going for a walk , staying clear of other smokers or coming up with your own way to do it cause you know how to save your quit , I know you do . The answer is within you , pull it up when needed and don’t smoke . 
keep going forward thatta way >>>>>>>> not <<<<<<<<<<<<< 

Best to you as you journey forward . ODAAT 

Maki . 

[biscuit9]

You lost a battle, but doesn't mean you have to lose the war.  Get right back in that fight for your life.  You also mentioned shortness of breath and chest tightness,  reminding you that smoking only TAKES and does not give.  LISTEN to your body!!  If most of us had listened when we took the first drag, we woud of thrown up and said "that's nasty, how does anybody put that in their mouth?"  I understand smoking memories and smoking friends.  It was quit day 150 ish before I could  sit outside with my smoking friends, while they smoked.  I even came to this site to talk about how nervous I was, but I can't avoid that trigger forever.  Just give yourself more time, cos this addiction is just that wicked and so many memories of our lives were tied up into smoking.  My last serious crave came at the end of a baseball game (Houston Astros won the series!)  seemingly out of nowhere and I'm glad I was at home and could talk myself down.  But what would have happened if I had met my buddies at the sportsbar, after having a few?   It sucks to have to give up a few things, but it's not forever and I truly wanted smoking OUT OF MY LIFE!  I encourage you to stay in the fight and don't give up!  You have so much to gain by quitting nicotine and finding HEALTHY, non harming ways to cope with life.  Quit day 281

[CommunityAdmin]

@Thyme , welcome back -- so many here have been in your shoes before, and the most important thing is your continued resolve to keep trying to quit and stay quit. We're here for you.

Lots of great ideas in this thread. These two Mayo Clinic blog posts may also be good reading for you (and the comments, too!):
- https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Mayo-Clinic-Blog/Preparing-For-Unexpected-Challenges-After-Qui...
- https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Mayo-Clinic-Blog/Six-Tips-for-Dealing-with-a-Lapse/ba-p/993788 

Keep us posted how it's going, friend.

- Megan, EX Team

[maryfreecig]

Disappointed? Sounds like you found out a few things about your desire to be a quitter, that that is what you want and the lure of smoking is not the same as the reality of smoking. Now you know. And you are here. Congratulations on all your hard won days, don't take the slip too, too hard, but stay vigilant as you get back to your quit. 

[Thyme]

Thanks to all for your replies. All helpful advice. YES, “the lure of smoking is not the same as the reality of smoking”—SO TRUE. Need to make this my mantra. My husband smokes when he drinks alcohol—once every few months. I thought enough time had passed that I could be around it but I could not. But I do feel this slip has reinforced to me that there is nothing pleasurable or romantic about smoking. It’s a lie that nicotine addiction tells you.

[biscuit9]

My favorite graph!  I saw this soon after I came to this board and nobody had to explain it to me.  This was me in my quit journey for the first few months, for sure.  NO straight line to the top, the struggle was real.  

[Thyme]

A cigarette leaves a disgusting taste in your mouth for hours, even after brushing your teeth. It makes your lungs hurt. It gives an unpleasant, overly stimulant/jittery feeling. It makes your hands, hair and clothes stink. And worst of all, it leaves you with anxiety that you have irreparably harmed your body.

[Thyme]

Wow, yes, amazing graph! So true. So important to really stay vigilant forever. Which honestly feels overwhelming. Thank goodness I don’t have to be around cigarettes very often.