Dealing with 2 other smokers

[cathy3]

Hi, I'm planning to quit tomorrow, down to my last cigarette. The one thing that worries me is that I live with two smokers. One will be supportive and try to help me out (my boyfriend), but my sister won't be. I did quit for four days a few months ago which was a record for me for the last 20 years, but in driving her around shopping and having the car filled with smoke, I caved in. Anyone else had to deal with this situation and how do you handle it?

[done-with-this]

Hi Cathy,
I am dealing with the same issue right now in trying to quit. I am a college student, and am living with my Mom who is a smoker. She knows that I am trying to quit and have tried in the past, yet anytime I give up and crave a cigarette, she will always give one to me. She even smokes inside of the house, and no matter how much I try to convince her to smoke outside (would help her smoke less too!), it IS her house and I can't make her do this.

The best success I have found is in trying to express to her just how important this is to me, and how serious I am about it. If your sister and your bf love you and know how much this means to you, hopefully they will be able to refrain from smoking around you, at least within the first week or so while you are really experiencing the withdrawals.

In all reality, you will have to find the strength to deal with being around smokers, in your personal life and out in public places.

A friend of mine who quit shared this odd technique with me. When someone lit up around him, he would purposely stand near it, and just smell the smoke, (probably considered 2nd hand smoking!) and he would let that be enough for him to satisfy his craving. I've tried this a few times, and mostly it has only made me want to smoke one myself.

The other thing that sounded helpful was what I found on this site about triggers. For coping when friends smoke, it suggested waiting 5 minutes while they smoke before lighting up yourself. Then the next time increase it to 10 minutes. I think what this does is trains us to break the "every time you smoke, I smoke" cycle. This is suggested to be practiced before the quit date though.

Let me know what works for you, and GOOD LUCK!

-A

[Susan57]

Hi Cathy,

I am on my 4th day, doing very well for someone who smoked for 45 years, and able to sit here and write to you about it. My husband, Terry, does not smoke. This should not make a difference, if you are in your car, you make the rules, "No Smoking" in the car,.....If you want something bad enough, what they do should not bother you, keep this in mind, "If you want to be smoke free, you can do it, if not, you are not ready to stop. Good Luck, Best Regards, Susan Sweet

[cathy3]

Thanks to both of you for the advice. Unfortuantely things did not work out very well. I started the day out with all the right attitude and armed with a patch and nicorette gum if needed. But a few weeks ago we had a bad hail storm come through here. Long story short, they were here today to rip off my roof. I work from home so with the noise, and our computers running slow which is frustrating, and dealing with issues with the insurance company and all the paperwork involved, and the contractors by noon I lost it and went and bought a pack. I was doing good though up until that point. I'm ready to quit, I just think I need to not have quite so much stress and commotion going on. LOL

[jenn-c]

My quit date is Sunday and I am already stressed out. I have really smoked a lot today.

[cathy3]

Hang in there and do quit tomorrow. A friend of mine once said that the day before she quit, she smoked so much she was literally sick and didn't even feel like having one the next morning. Maybe that will help. Can't hurt to try.

[cathy3]

Well so far not so hot, but every day I try again. Tonight I'm going to write down some of the main triggers and what I can do avoid giving in, and keep it right in front of my computer here at home and hopefully see if that helps any. I work from home so don't have an "out" like being at the office where I can't smoke for hours at a time.

[cathy3]

how are you doing Jenn? Quitting I hope.

[cathy3]

WEll I've said ef it many times in the past too. But this time I really want to do it. I've tried Chantix in the paset and it does work somewhat, but so expensive. I have patches and the gum, but I've only used them a little bit and not as regularly as I should have. I am such a die hard smoker that I can smoke with the patch on and chewing a piece of the gum. LOL With no ill effects whatsoever.

[rj_]

Hi Cathy,
It is not impossible to quit around other smokers, just a little harder.
The first thing to do is get it in your mind, you are quitting for yourself, only yourself, no one else under any circumstances can force a cigarette between your lips and make you smoke. The only person who can cause failure is you.
The best advise I'd have is to distance yourself from smokers for a while, it's your car, no smoking, it's your house no smoking, Dont set in smoking section at a resturant, etc...
I had a 2 yr 8 mo pause in 2000-03, my wife still smoked during most of it, then sadly I chose to end it with a puff, and it took 4 more years to get back, I am now smoke free for two years, and no longer even have any desire to smoke, being around smoke or sitting in a room with smokers does not bother me, except burns my eyes a little, but no desire to smoke.
I am going to attach a book by Joel Spitzer, his site ( www.whyquit.com) was a great education for me, it provides lots of educational materials, videos, etc...
After two yrs free I still believe that the best thing going to succeed in a long term quit, is Education + determination = success.
Best to you,...RJ - Free and Healing for Two Years, One Day, 2 Hours and 47 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 101 Days and 16 Hours, by avoiding the use of 29285 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $6,036.74.