I have known that I needed to quit smoking for many years. I recconed that I will do it in "the future." I didn't feel any urgency to quit other than I was getting older but I could rationalize away the need to quit because I intended too quit all the time. I thought that I was somewhat healthy with just a few rough edges. Reality came crasing down around me leaving me thoughly confused and afraid, yet grateful to still be alive and in some ways better. My experience began on a special occasion. It was a Thursday, my son whom I had encouraged, cajoled, did everything I could to get him academially engaged after dropping out of high school after his second year. That Thursday he was graduating at a cerimony for students who had passed the GED in our community college area. I was excited, proud and relieved that he had earned his GED and was beginning to take clases at our community college.
I had been having chest pain that would come and go, come and go. I asked my Dr. and my Dentist both what it could be that I was experiencing? Neither gave me an answer but I do remember that I was told it wasn't a heart attack because if it was then the pain wouldn't receed. I was comfortable with their non answer because "it would probably just fad away." It didn't and that Thursday of my son's graduation just as we were to leave the house it returned, that pain but this time was much worse. Previously I had forbaid anyone from calling 911 because I don't have any health Insurance but my father ignored my pleas and shortly the paramedics were attaching electrodes to my chest and quickly concluded that I was having a heart attack.
The ambulance ride was brief and the ER was ready for me but they could do nothing for the great amount of pain I was in. The Dr. arrived and proceeded to do an angioplasty through my groin area artery, i felt little of what he was doing but my chest pain was overwhelming. Suddenly the Dr. said it's blocked 100% and as he said that he pushed the baloon through the artery in my heart and instantanously the pain was gone. He inserted a stint and check the other arteries of my heart while lecturing me on the fact that just 1 cigarette was the same as 30. I was fortunate because the circultation in my whole body has changed and I no longer have a feeling of nueropathy in my feet. Amazing!
I have been given a gift which I can no longer ignore as the consequences are too great plus I have so much to do, to live for. My life is still ahead of me and I can demonstrate my gratitude for the gift of seeing my children, and my beautiful granddaughter Mae. I owe those living as well as myself the gift of quiting. I have read some shocking information about smoking and how completely toxic it is. There is nothing redeeming about it, even for all the excuses I made in the past. Each day I learn more of how harmful somking is and I am grateful for that knowledge. The information was always there for me but I choose not to read or research it because that would never be me! The time has come, and it is me.
