It has been like pulling teeth to get myself to write this. You all know me as River, and my last quit date was August 19th. It was the first time I went cold turkey. I woke up very early (4am), read on the site, blogged, made a list of reasons to quit and reasons to smoke, waited a panicky hour and a half and caved. If I were to meet Alan Carr face to face right now I would punch him in the nose!
Encouragement did pour in from you all and I want to thank you for that, but it was already a done deal and I couldn't bring myself to read any of it, really, until today. I also want to thank everyone who posted on my message board, just checking in or sending inspiration and funnies. That is what got me to write this.
I've been so discouraged and depressed that I've only gone to work (part time), otherwise have just stayed home. It was my 5th quit date in a year and a half. I truly don't know what I'm going to do now. I am posting another blog to describe what my habit/addiction is like, maybe that will help. NOT EXCUSES, just facts