New in town

[Minx]

Greetings all -

I am sitting here at my computer while the fiance and daughter sleep trying to resist the urge to go outside with my coffee and sneak a smoke.  Long story short - I have been a 'secret smoker' over half of my life.  I have tried and (mostly) succeeded in hiding it from my parents for 20 years.  I have 'quit' several times and this always results in hiding it from whoever knew that I was quitting.  My fiance and I made a commitment to both quit back in the fall - we bought our first house, our daughter was turning 4 and we want to be healthy role models for her and spend our money on the house, not cigarettes!  Needless to say, we both found lots of excuses to out it off, slip up, etc.  He has now been smoke free for over a week and I just relapsed into 'secret smoker' phase...  I am so dissappointed with myself.  I HATE smelling like smoke, coughing, planning how to sneak around, trying to hide it from my daughter especially.  I live in almost constant fear that I have COPD and/or cancer - I haven't seen a Dr. about it but some nights I am up coughing and struggling to breathe.  I have never been good about going to Drs and this is too scary to deal with right now.  I really want to quit.  I really NEED to quit.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I quit cold turkey no problem!  It wasn't until almost a year after I quit, the fiance went out to smoke leaving me inside rocking the baby, that I said, 'fuck this, I want a break too' and I started up again... what a horrible choice.  I had success using Chantix for a while, but I never refilled my prescription...  I lost the new prescription my Dr got me... I have been too embarassed to go back to the Dr. again...

i need to do this!  I am reaching out to find a new, successful way to make this happen.  One of my fears is weight gain - I definitely experienced that before - and our wedding is May 23rd!!  The dress is hangning in the closet.  

I am really scared - about quitting, about my health, about giving up my 'secret', about lying to my fiance, about missing out on my daughter's life. Crap, now I am crying.  Well, she just woke up so it is time for oatmeal and trying to not sneak out for a smoke today.  My quit date is set for March 7 - I don't want to wait that long...

[bonnie-12-28-14]

Welcome and you came to the right place for support.  Please remember you are not sneaking anything past yourself and that is who you need to quit for.  Read everything you can about it and get over being embarassed.  Go to your doctor and get it done!!!

There are a lot of things on quiting and weight gain as well.  Look into getting a fitbit I know I did and it motivates me to move and get my 10,000 steps in a day and I have only gained a few pounds and I'm on the way of getting rid of that as well as getting rid of those nasty cigarettes.  

Congrats on your wedding and good luck.  

N.O.P.E.

[dottie12]

I'm new here too Minx, so I can't offer any advice, but wanted to say hello, and wish you well as a soon to be non smoker, and congatulations on your up coming wedding!! 

[Cindy210]

Welcome!  Believe it or not, you just had your first successful crave stave!  Instead of smoking, you visited with us!  We appreciate that!  Since your mind has already shifted to breakfast with your daughter and put the option of smoking out of your mind, you have all the tools you need to quit.  

Please read (or listen to the you-tube video) of Allen Carr's book "Easy way to quit smoking".  It will change the way you think about the evil Nicodemon!  I also watched other you-tube videos including Arthur Weavers Stop Smoking Seminar, hypnosis (I wasn't really hypnotized, but the even voice and music calmed me during a crave) and EMT (tapping, which was awesome during a bad crave in the car).   Knowledge is Power!

I too thought I was keeping my smoking a secret.  Now that I've been 79 days smoke free, I know that I wasn't hiding anything from anyone, they just loved me and respected me enough not to call me on it.

So, again, WELCOME!  There is always someone here to talk to - about anything and everything!

[pir8fan]

Now you have done it! You are about to be bombarded with helpful and useful information!

The keys to success are education and support! Read, read, read! educate yourself about our addiction! And yes, it is an addiction! Learn what to EXpect with your quit! We will provide the support! There is always someone here to answer questions, or to talk you off of the ledge if need be!

Live Free my friend! Live Smoke Free!!                       Tommy

[pir8fan]

BTW: I doubt that you have hidden it from your parents! My guess is they ignore it so you don't smoke around them, meaning you would smoke more!

A non-smoker can tell who smokes from a mile away! Once you are free, you will see what I mean!

[djmurray]

Welcome to EX, Minx.  You have come to the right place.  As Tommy said, education is essential.  The Allen Carr book completely changed my life.  I smoked for 53 years, and had many failed quits.  I read the Carr book The Easy Way to Quit Smoking and realized that when you quit smoking you are giving up NOTHING.  The only thing smoking does is satisfy the craving you created when you smoked the cigarette before that.  For the first time I am quitting without feeling deprived.  I do not envy smokers.  The link to the Carr book is:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

There are also many wonderful resources right here on this site, including guidance on how to prepare for your quit.  It's great that you don't want to wait until March 7, but on the other hand, if you're not prepared to quit you might be jeopardizing your quit.   Read the information here, read the blogs, write blogs, comment on others' blogs.  Go to whyquit.com as well -- there is a huge amount of valuable information there.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding -- you have so much to be happy about and so much to live for, and you need to remember how much you wanted to quit when you're having a crave early in your quit.  You will have those craves, but you'll be prepared to weather them.

You can do this!

[Minx]

Thank you so much for the welcome - I already feel this is the right place for me.  I have started readed this book for what it is worth and look forward to finally having a place to go when I need to remind myself that this habit is not going to be my life anymore.  I look forward to getting to know other people here as well!

[lois2]

Welcome Minx   you came to the right place, people here is great and very helpful.

[dlv]

Welcome 🙂

[YoungAtHeart]

Smoking is not a habit - it is an addiction!  THAT is the reason it takes effort to break free!

That being said, it IS possible.  Lots of us here smoked for many,many years, and have quit successfully.  You need to educate yourself (read, read and read some more), do the prep work (tracking and separation exercises suggested here) and COMMIT.  On your quit date you will throw out all the cigarettes in your possesion, along with lighters, astrays and clear out the area(s) in which you used to smoke.  If you smoked in your car, have it detailed - you won't want to waste THAT money by smoking in it again!

I am glad you are here.  Let's get this done!

Nancy