I am hopeless I suppose when it comes to quitting.....
I was going to hold off writing til probably tomorrow, because I'm just beat right now....but when I read the words of encouragement, and good job.......I feel terribly guilty if I don't spill my guts tonight.......
How did it happen? About an hour ago, I was fine, doing good with my quit.....then I'm out running errands and started thinking at first about the good things about this summer, but then I started thinking about last summer....
I lost two incredibly close people (young), then a man huffing and driving a box truck came close to killing me, and then there was someone in the family who did something that absolutely crushed us.....I always carry that sadness......
Next thing I know I am crying.....then I didn't care about me or my quit anymore, all I could feel was the pain.....I know smoking doesn't change things.....it's just something that I do when I'm this hurt, not that it helps, it doesn't......so I feel very hopeless.....I can't see how I can ever stop smoking forever....it never works.....it's like there's u guys who can do it, and then there's me
I guess I'll just keep trying.....but I've really lost my faith in myself tonight.....because I thought this quit was coming along nicely......and I'm not sure if I can ever believe again.....disappointed