I'm back!!!

[triomommy27]

where do I start? I'm not sure. That's why I haven't been here. I didn't want to come here and post because I'm not doing "well" In fact I've been smoking for the last three weeks. Yup. It sucks. I feel like crap. I can't breath like I was. I'm not exercising as much. I'm not drinking enough water. I'm abusing my body is what I'm doing. UGH!

As soon as I light up that first one my husband says 'My best friend is back!' so I kept on smoking and we started communicating again. Not a reason to smoke. There is no reason to light up but that is what I used as an excuse. I kept thinking I would feel better about the anxiety I was feeling too. It got better but I'm wondering if it was something my mind was doing to myself? It wasn' even but 3-4 days after I went out for my husbands Birthday.

Anyway, I think about this place, and quiting all over again all the time. I keep thinking I'll just jump back on again. I know I can do it. I just hate those first few days. I hate smoking, I really do! So I need help. I can't seem to pick a day and really stick to it. I was going to do it today but bought smokes last night. Then I keep thinking I should wait until next week... 

I'm also unsure about doing it with Chantix or without. I just don't know what's best for me.

[doney]

I quit on Jan 21......I lit up again 4 days ago. This feeling sucks. I'm quitting again tomorrow. I know I will go through the whole "first week" crap all over again. This sucks. The fact that my mind hates the fact that I started again tells me that subconsiously I obviously don't want to do this again. I was feeling so good!!!! I'm stopping before it gets out of hand again.....what am I saying? When I lit the first one it was out of hand. What a horrible addiction this is....I've got to read more and educate myself more. I wish you luck.

[EllenMT]

Wow, I don't know what to say, your husband values nicotine more than you! I guess the egg donor thing is out the window now! Keep beating your head against the wall and it might feel better...NOT. Remind yourself once again why you wanted to quit and stay quit. We stepped up to the plate when you were feeling bad and helped you out what part of our help did you not want in order to smoke again? Get a plan NOW and get back on the quit track...talk to your doctor if you have to. Best wishes to you.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

'My best friend is back!"

It's pretty sad that a cigarette makes you friends.

Her is either jealous of your attempt to be free of an addiction (to better yourself) because he

can't/won't quit?

or maybe, you were just waiting for some smoking encouragement?

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Can you figure out what your fears are? What made it so easy to fall back into your addiction? Unless you make specific changes in your quit plan you'll probably repeat the same thing! If I was in your shoes, I'd go to whyquit.com and start from scratch finding resolve, making my quit plan, arranging a support system, preparing! The date isn't as important as the state of mind! You're still slipsliding in addictive thinking! You CAN do this - when you are properly prepared! Don't be so apprehensive of those first days - you did it before and you can do it again - one minute at a time! Just make sure that when yopu quit - you are firmly determined to quit for LIFE! Wishing you the Best!

[jojo29]

Triomom???? Im lost for words, dont u no misery luves company!!!!!  Im not even going to ask u why he said that and why u let it take u to a place u reli dont wana be, b/c the only thing i can think of is u value ur husband more then u value yourself!!! Ill be dammed if I bring myself to a low level to plez my husband, IM number 1 here, and i happen to luv my husband very much too. you need to reli think about it, you can quit and still be his best friend,  you now have all the powerless things goin on b/c u started to smoke agian,u cant breath, you feel like crap, u DONT WANA smoke but u keep doin it,just stop for one minite and ask urself if all this is worth it, and if ur marriage depends on it well, mayb u need to re-evaluate ur marriage then, ,i find that to be a very weak excuse,if u cant breath right now, imagine  what ur gona feel like in 3-5 yrs, as long as u keep comin back here thats a good thing, i no u can do this, but u need the support from ur hubby, try talk to him and tell him reli how u feel, but if u feel u wana smoke,for him, for u, go ahead, but ur hurtin urself in the long run. if u need anything, advice, jump in here and ask.i hope to see u on track soon, ill always be here for u too, u no that already :)) Joanne.

[triomommy27]

Reading all this is exactly why I didn't want to come here... This sux.  I know he was jealous of my attempt to quit and the fact that I was doing so well. I hate this! All of this. 😞

[froguelady]

Just hang on and try different things.  I have used the gum, the patch, cold turkey, none of these worked very well for me.  I am now using the nicotrol inhaler and it seems to be working.  I was like you at first on this site now I stay on it lots.  As for your hubby he just wants company for HIS habit.  Just do what you need to do for YOU.

[MarcieWhosoever]

triomommy please dont stop coming here. These comments are exactly things you might need to hear even if you dont want to hear them. Dont take anything personal, try to remember that people care. if they didnt they wouldnt even comment at all, or even bother coming to this site.

Remember..... "TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST!!!"

please if you need to talk send me a message. today is my first day of quitting and I could def use a talking to LOL

Stay strong. get back on track. its not the end of the world. Go back and remember the reasons you stopped in the first place. those reasons havent changed. Have a great day and try not to get discouraged. message me if you need me.
~Marcie~

[Mothergoose9]

It took courage for you to come here and be honest and I respect that.  But my question to you is "Now what?"  The ball is in your court.  If you REALLY want to quit, then we can help you.....but the decision is yours.  When you're ready to really do this, we'll be here....

[anacondahead]

"My best friend is back???????"

WTF? If he loves you, why is he glad you're smoking? And why is he glad he's smoking? You have to make a grown up decision and quit.

Smoking to please him is insane.

( He still smokes because he's afraid to quit. Of course he would deny that, nut it's true and you know it. Remember that.)

It took guts to post your story and it is believeable. You have some decisions to make. Make them wisely.

Choose life.

[jojo29]

 hi trio, Dont bring urself down, listin, just start over, it sucks wen the women has to be the strong one, as i say the back bone but hey someone has to do it right, ok so big deal, he was jelous of ur quit, and u went under, now get up from the rock and u show him that u can do it, b/c if nothing more i bet if not now, even later, he will respect u much more for all ur strength and who knows, u can even teach him a thing or too and hell quit too, hes just not ready, in due time mayb.but for now, hate it all u want, it is what it is, have u tried the patches, or the gum, ur gona make it wen u came back, b/c i think ur gona be stronger. sometime it takes a few times to get it right, theres so much stuff out there, try something new if what u tried didnt work b4, and just keep trying, :)))) and do it for yaself ok. ur a great person, and im sure ur hubby luvs u, he just dont wana smoke alone 🙂  its almost like an alcoholic, if 2 ppl are drinkin together and one gets sober ohhh boy, the drinker dont like that much, b/c hes on his own now and cant handle his weaknesses by himself while ur on top !!!! 🙂 but itll give him food for thought :))  plez dont be so sad.. control, and rem u can do it..joanne

[Live4thedash]

Ahhh the dilema of it all no??    

First off kudo's for coming back, being honest, and expressing your situation head on. That takes courage and shows resolve.

Secondly this reinforces to all of us, albeit at your expense, the "Never One Puff Ever" rule. As you've learned, and hopefully we are all listening, that by breaking that rule you are sucked back in. It's the addict.  You've learned it painfully, but through your brutal honesty, it helps us all reinforce that valuabe lesson.

Thirdy your words and actions show you, and us, the addict thinking that goes on inside of an addict. The pull and take, the smokey thought vs the clear thought.  And how once a person succumbs the smokey thoughts seem more pervasive.

Fourthly your resolve in coming back really shows that you understand the addict and the addictive behavior. Usually when one falters, like I did years ago, one beats themselves up, classifies themselves as a loser and acceptance of their behavior. You , though, by coming back recognizes that you are not a loser, that you are in fact an addict, and that you want to beat this addiction.

The only way to do that is to learn from your past mistakes, do not beat yourself up, this is not, contrary to popular belief, the end of the world. We learn from our mistakes, refine our plan, confront the addict, and start our new beginning.   What others have said is true, only you can do it. Another person can't do it for you, nor can they detract you. If you fail, you made the choice to fail, if you succeed you made the choice to succeed. And how cool is that.

Again kudo's for coming back with open honest discussion.   May your forge a new successful path!

NOPE & NEF!

[Strudel]

I am glad you came back - that is a great sign! I'm pretty sure you did all the reading before - but, that might be the best place to start - to refresh at http://quitsmokingonline.com/ and Carr's book - http://joga.365.lt/Allen-Carr_Easy-Way-To-Stop-Smoking_Download-free-PDF-EBook

I used Welbutrin - similar to Chantix. I would recommend talking to your doctor and then decide if you wnat to use a presecription and/or NRT's - or total cold turkey. You know you will find folks here who have used each of those methods. Read, put a plan together, and then - you know how to do this thing! The fact that you came back shows me that you are headed in the right direction.

If you haven't seen it before - Anacondahead (the link to her page is above under her comment) has a letter to a loved one regarding support. It is on her page - blog written on December 28th. It may help your husband "get it"!

Please - STAY!!!

[bjmarks]

It did take courage to come here and put all that out there. Your husband sounds like he's insecure and missed his smoking buddy and you really can't blame him with that. When I smoked and a friend of mine would quit and then fail I was secretly glad because I had someone to share my terrible addiction with, I wasn't alone and I didn't feel so bad about myself. That's what addicts do.  I think the comment about my "friend is back" was pretty tacky. Your quit belongs to you and only you. You may have to face your fears and go though some unpleasentness but in the end you will be stronger, have self respect, and feel sooooo much better. But you already know this........that's why you came back.......Keep coming back!!

[karenjones]

You know what?? you are going to quit, just taking a couple jumps at it.  I quit for 17 days in Dec, 4 days in Jan, 3 days in Feb and now 15 days in March. and like you , I felt really depressed each time I started back up again, i would sit and idealize cigarettes when I wasn't smoking and they would go and buy a pack and smoke it  and it never lived up to the hype. i just felt really down because, here I was smoking again.  But it is just part of the process. I started Champix, gove up up because i didn't like the side effects (my addict talking, because some of the side effects were nicotine withdrawal) talked to 2 Pharmacists and they both said drink tons of water and the last one said , cut down on the meds until the symptoms subside , which \I did and took 1/2 tablet twice a day. for 3 weeks, now I am on 1/2 tab once a day. Today is day 15 for me. keep in mind, that once accept that you are an addict and want to quit , you will be depressed until you do. Quitting will take a huge burden off you. You won't have to worry about cigarettes damaging your health anymore. Champix will help in the early days, but see your Dr and talk it over with him and  look at this.  there is lots of info on this site, check the 'Experts' tab at the top right hand corner.  and look at this.  The Key to Reaching Personal Goals: Conquer Stress First! - YouTube