Help....

[Courage]

I know I'm slowly killing myself.  I'm so disgusted and scared.  I'm seeing all these wonderful blogs; people are doing wonderful, so why can't I break free?  So many false starts. My anxiety level is at an all time high today, my breathing is absymal....

I'll take whatever anyone wants to give whether I like it or not.  I want my freedom and health back... 

I am so sorry I gave up my wonderful quit that fateful day last summer, so wasn't worth it.  Just wish I had understood what I was giving up because this is sure not worth it. 

[Pops]

Fannie,

I know what it feels like & can appreciate how lonely it can feel when you are reading the successful blogs, while we sit @ the pooter smoking at the same time.  When you are done, you will be done...and not until then.  The problem, for me anyway...is that after a few days or a week or so...I feel that maybe it's time for me to reward myself with a sneak smoke.  After all...I can always quit again.  Or, nobody will know if I don't disclose it...

Then before you know it, I've bought at least 20, or thirty days worth and am back to hacking & coughing & hiding from everyone.  When the ugly head raises up to be fed...just snap back at it & scream if needed, that you aren't going to do that crap anymore.  

Fannie, don't worry about anything here either.  If anyone here doesn't understand how easy it is to fall, then they probably shouldn't even be here at all.  Hang in there with me.  I'm sporting five (5) days again!

Pops

[Breakinchains]

Accept the fact that there are no good reasons to smoke; there never were, they are all nicotine lies. This way, once you accept that you've had your last smoke, you'll stop fighting yourself (acceptance, not will power). Realize that any urge you have to smoke is just your addiction lying to you. Come here and post a help blog when and if you need it, before you light up and ruin your quit. We can talk you out of it. 

[smorgy8513]

I hear your struggles and shame.     If I could take and wave a wand to remove all the craves and triggers....I WOULD!

But I can't.    What I can do is throw a couple of ideas your way:

Make a list of Why I Smoke.

Then a list of Why I Don't Want to Smoke.

I know it sounds obvious but maybe it's not.    And then you can review your list when (didn't say if) you need it.

No one here is judging you........I repeat NO ONE HERE IS JUDGING YOU!    That is that stupid Shame Monster talking to you.....ignore him!

Tell me what I can do to help......Do you want an email, phone number....flare gun????    PM me and I'll give you what ever I can to help.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!    Set a date and do it!

Sharon

[Courage]

I know Pops, I was so happy to see you back!  I literally said, okay, there's Ken, I think I'll join him.  It's the truth though, it's easy to hide, that's why I put myself out here.  I don't want to hide anymore.  I don't want to be on the outside looking in.

Okay Ken, I'm in. 

Thank you for reaching out  🙂

[Courage]

Thank you all so very much

[Storm.3.1.14]

I'm only going to ask you to do 2 things today...

First, read Breaking's comment again. And again. And accept that you CAN reach that point of empowerment. Acceptance of the truth IS possible...for you and everyone else. Hundreds of millions of quitters have already proven it is a realistic goal.

Second, one of the answers is right there in your profile picture. Ponder it deeply.

[Courage]

Hi Storm, sometimes I feel like an Ex stalker, but I've read your blogs as well, they're wonderful.   I will do as you say and yes, that's why I put that as my profile pic and will leave it there for awhile because it's the truth.

Thank you

[MarilynH]

I am here for you too, I believe nicotine is the worst addiction to get rid of but you can and will succeed in your quit when you are ready . ((((Big Hugs))))

Marilyn 

[rosemarymom]

Fannie, I am with you.  I come here every day, several times and read and hate myself for smoking.  I say almost every day that I will not smoke, but I do.  I recently set a quit date for May 1st.  Hope you will too.I quit all the time, but can,t make it stick.  I have to - I fear for my health.  Hold my hand and we can do this together.  My longest quit was 48 days and I was SOO proud and happy - but I blew it last spring.  A year later and I am still struggling.  I understand your shame - I have it also.  Believe me, I know how you feel.  I've done all the reading and understand and need to quit.  Let's DO IT! 

Love & hugs

[JonesCarpeDiem]

"I gave up my wonderful quit"

no one else can give it away but you.

here's a saying on my page:

"Your quit will be yours 'til you don't want it anymore"

[Courage]

Ah Dale, I was waiting for your words of wisdom.  Yes, I own that and understand it, now anyway.... 

[annb]

I'm so sorry my friend. You know I "get it". Everyone here does but you know my head has been hard. For some reason you and me and Rosemary and Cheyenne (yes I'm naming names) have all seemed to have an extra struggle and we all started at the same time. What's that about!!!??? Anyway we can be the quad squad and beat this thing! Holding out my hand. C'mon chicks. Let's try to catch up with our Linda M. She was in our group and made it!! I'm here for you Miss Courage. Love you!❤

[Courage]

Thank you my Ann, you've been rocking this!  Love you too Annieb.... 😉 ❤️

[sparky26]

Welcome back courage.

[Eric_L.]

I just wrote a long response and page messed up.  I suggest focus on the smoking and the anxiety and shame will take care of itself as u build on healthy behaviors.  I struggle w not working recovery backwards too.   Hang in there.  Dont take the first hit

[linda.mustafa]

Fannie I was just contacted by Ann !

Came here urgently because I love you dear friend and I'm sending you the biggest hug ever -the kind of hug that will make you smile (-:

Do something for me please-Stand up and go to the mirror-any will do!

Look yourself in the eyes and repeat those words by looking at yourself !

Do I want to let cigarretes kill me?

Do I believe in myself and my resolve to quit?

Am I the strong person I know I am and will continue toward freedom?

Next

No I will not let stupid cigarettes kill me full stop.

I believe in myself 100%

Ive been through worse and I knows I am strong -I will walk forward toward my complete freedom!

Please say these words to yourself -Try and ne et give up never because you are strong I know you are !

[Courage]

Dearest Linda, thank you, taking your hug and wisdom

xoxoxo

[LouiseR]

You can do this.  We are all here for you.  Start stacking those days, do the reading and come here daily.  Remember how great you felt when you were smokefree.  Big big hug for you.  I believe in you!!!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I just wrote this to Summer but I would write the same thing to you so I hope you don't mind that I'm copying it here;

This is why we say over and over again - relapse makes quitting harder - never easier!

I'm so sorry you are going through this!

You will have to put your past quits behind you for good and move forward!

You know you can do it because you've been here before. Can you find a way to step out of your own path to Freedom?

Guilt is often the stumbling block that keeps us stuck after relapse. Then there's fear and doubt that I might fail again....

Take all of your thoughts about relapse and write them down on a piece of paper - self blame, doubt, fear, guilt, shame, any and all of your feelings. Immerse yourself in them for one hour - no more!

Then create a small release ceremony where you destroy the paper and all that it contains. Be sure to let go as you perform the ceremony!

If you don't want to burn the paper because of associations with addiction, try cutting the paper up into hundreds sof pieces and burying it in the yard or dropping it in a body of water. 

The ceremony represents finishing with the relapse past and beginning anew with a fresh quit journey.

Fanny, You have to step out of your own way! All of those feelings of "less than" are hanging you up! 
You are no different from any of us! That's the good news! You CAN do this!

There is no place for judgment, guilt or shame, Fanny! These are brain receptors that play tricks on us! We have to get smarter than our own brains! 

Bring your tricky thinking to us each and every time and we'll tell you what those nico-lies are!

Right now Nico-lies are making you feel crappy because they know that if they can put you down they'll get more of their drug of choice!!!!! It's ridiculously that simple!

Nico-lies have one single goal:

Whatever it takes to get my next fix!

They don't have to be smarter than that because one=one hundred=one thousand=one million!

BUT you are smarter than that!Catch the lies and stop the torture!

I KNOW you can do this!

[bonniebee]

Fannie I am new on Ex only have 75 days this is about my 6th try at quitting I am having some rough times but I want this one to be forever . Come on back and join me in your  new quit, everyone above cares for you so much ! They will be here for you many of us and probably the majority of us have had failed quits but what is worse than a failed quit is giving up and never trying to quit again . I know for me I waited far to long between  quits,  I wasted years smoking ! My first try was in 1986 or 87 and now here it is 2015 ! think of all the damage I have done to my body and all the years of slavery to that nicodemon ! Lets make it to the 6% club together I will only be a little ahead of you LOL

One day at a time we can make it Fannie !