All I Want For Christmas........

[Joan_01-02-2015]

You would think that after a month into my practicums I would feel at peace.  I don't.  The time frame for finishing is fast approaching, and I am no where near ready for my final.  So, I feel another extension coming on - BUT, I will not give up my seat for my registry exam in March!!  I will finish.

So, all I want for Christmas is for my sons and husband to understand what matters to me!  The dust has built up, the bathroom is not clean, the dog hair is flying, the Thanksgiving decorations are still up and thinking of decorating for Christmas is just not in my heart right now.  

I am trying to put in as many hours a day as I can so I can enjoy my anniversary with my husband and not stress the whole time we are away (I loose five days of studying), and I feel guilty that I am not out in the consumer world shopping.  I feel like a whiny baby right now!!  Just five more weeks is all I ask of them - hang in there with me for five more weeks.

I am working on releasing the guilt.  I am sure you all tired of me whining about finishing school - I have been to five schools and still don't have a degree.  I want to finish something!!  I will be 50 in January, and oh how good it will feel when I complete my registry exam and prayerfully be done!  

I'm always jumbled, I know - the clutter is back - the anxiety is high - but the desire for a smoke is nil!  I don't have time.  Mornings are the hardest for me when I wake up and think of all the things that need to be done (no caffeine involved for this girl).  

One holiday without the bells and whistles - it really is OK (saying it but not feeling it).  Selfish feelings and thoughts when so many are going through so much right now.  I almost ruined Thanksgiving crying over not being home with my parents, and knowing that I will never see my old house for a holiday ever again.

I'm done pouting - should push delete, but this will help me to go back and read and it will teach me to count my blessings, not my "minor" problems!  I am so blessed - just need to shutdown the perfectionist and move on.................................move on!!  I hate roller coaster rides!!!!!!!!!

 

TIME FOR ME TO QUIT SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!  Back to the books (I really am enjoying the ride of school - I just can't do it all like I used to and I have to accept that!!)