DJ Murray (Donna)

[djmurray]

As John suggested, I am going to use this topic to "tell my story" and keep it up.  Feel free to comment.  Or not.

I do have to say that I had just written a really long blog (taking time periodically to check my work email since I'm working at home today) and when I went to post it I got an error message that I had timed out, and everything I wrote disappeared!  OH NO.  Here goes again.  I will make sure to copy what I write so I can paste it if the site times out.  For anyone who wants to write a long blog, take my advice -- copy it before you go to post it so that you don't lose what you've written.

I am struck by how similar my feelings about this diet are to the feelings I experienced in the early days of my quit.  I am proud of myself for recognizing that I can improve my breathing by losing this weight.  I'm proud of myself for wanting to make it easier for my lungs to work.  I was surprised after my quit that I was having so much trouble breathing, and thought I must have pretty serious COPD.  I went to the pulmonologist on February 9th and got the great news that I have really good lung function, at 90%+.  So that isn't the reason that I'm having trouble breathing.  I didn't have to get hit in the head to realize that my lungs are probably deeply grateful for no more smoking, but are still having trouble servicing this 210 pound, out of shape, 66 year old body.

I spent the next several weeks researching the types of weight loss I could commit to.  I looked at Beyond Diet, which I am sure is very healthy, but requires shopping at specialty stores and cooking.  I am not a cook.  Seriously.  My kids thought that a home cooked meal was fish sticks and macaroni and cheese out of a box.  So although the principles of Beyond Diet will come in handy when I'm back to regular eating (eat very little processed food, read every label, eat organic vegetables, etc), but not for the disciplined following of a program for weight loss.  I also looked at Weight Watchers, but I'm -- again -- not so disciplined to count those points, or calories, or whatever.  I did the Medifast program very successfully in 1987, and I like the idea of having my meals close at hand and that they are easily transportable.  The 1 "lean and green" meal I prepare for myself is a small serving of lean meat and a choice of vegetables.  Easy.  I don’t intend to do my entire 60 pound weight loss on this diet, but after about 3 months or so I will have lost a good part of it, my craves for carbs and fats will be gone, and portion control won’t be a problem.  I think that works out best all around.

This is the first time I have ever tried to lose weight not because I want to be a size 4, but because it will make me healthier.  In addition to the problems I've been having with breathing, my joints are giving me real problems – they’re stiff and painful, and not appropriate for someone my age who is in good health.  In order for my joints to get relief, I need to move more.  I never moved because I was smoking (sitting somewhere saying "yeah, I'll do (Fill in the Blank) after I smoke this cigarette."  In addition, my breathing deteriorated so I moved even less.  I’ve always hated exercise (yes, I’ve joined gyms and never gone) and I have a very sedentary job.  So I pretty much came to a standstill.  No wonder my joints hurt!!

I have always struggled with my weight.  In the summer between 6^th and 7^th grade I weighed 129 pounds.  In my adult life I’ve been everything from a size 4 to a size 20.  In my late 50’s I decided I was done with dieting.  I was fine the way I was.  My weight stabilized at about 190 (size 16) and I was fine with that.  So for nine years I ate pretty much what I wanted, stayed the same weight, and didn’t have a problem.  At the age of 66 I’m not terribly vain, and I felt fine about my weight.  But this isn’t a question of vanity – it’s a question of health.  And the older I get the more I understand the value of maintaining good health (I’m a slow learner.)

Getting back to how starting this diet is like my early days in my quit – I am also feeling cravings, and I know that they are just feelings that will pass.  I realize that gluttony is a poor reward for anything (and eating two Heath Bar Klondikes at a sitting is gluttony, pure and simple).  So I am quitting cold turkey.  I find myself second guessing myself – “Do I really need to do this?”  “This is hard on top of my quit.”  “Don’t I deserve to enjoy SOMETHING?”  But that is just the self-degrading self-talk that some of us have had to deal with in our lives.  Am I starving?  No.  Are these hunger pangs going to kill me?  No.  Is it hard?  Sometimes.  Learning to laugh at my smoking addict’s brain is helping me deal with these doubts.  I know I can do this as well as quitting smoking.  I know that in 6 months I am going to be enjoying this summer as a smoke free much healthier person.

So this is my story.  Thanks for listening!

[djmurray]

Thanks to everyone for the great support.  I contacted Medifast last night, cancelled my account, packed up everything I had left and took it to the post office today to send it back.  The good news is even though it cost me almost $50 to send it back, they are going to refund my money.  And I appreciate the thought that the 11 days of Medifast showed I can do this!!

Today I had a breakfast bar (140 calories); for lunch I had a salad -- the best I can figure it was about 150 calories, for a snack I had a medium apple (95 calories) and for dinner I had one of those delicious tilapias (180 calories) and Nature's Own brown rice (200 calories) and another salad which was bigger this time so I'll say it was 200 calories.  I'm logging everything I eat in an app called "My Fitness Pal" that my daughter told me about, and it says that on a 1,200 per day calorie allowance I have 210 calories left to play with!!  Not bad, and everything I ate today I liked.  I don't feel that hungry.  The only thing I have to do to adjust it a little is figure out a good mid-morning snack.  I like the idea of dark fruit. 

I really want to start building in some exercise, and I will probably do a walk this weekend just to test it out, because if I'm going to walk I need to do it in the morning before I go to work.  The good news is that I don't have to leave for work until about 9:15 a.m. (that way I don't run into quite so much traffic) so I can walk from 7 to 7:30 a.m to start out with.  Once I get in the swing of it I think it will be fine. 

John, I'm going to reply to your issues about how we make this group more accessible to new members, etc. in your living room. 

Ellen, I will respond to your comments above in your living room.

And Bonnie, thank you so much for checking in and I will write something in your living room as well. 

[John10forteen]

Diane also uses myfitnesspal.com and it sounds like you like it too, thats great. Your own diet sound real good too. 

[John10forteen]

I think the mission statement is done. Look it over for your approval. Anyone that wants to comment on it please do so 

[John10forteen]

In regards to the group dynamic (Missed that yesterday Donna) we must've been posting at the exact same time. 

Back to topic: The biggest problem is we can not use the blogging platform effectively because it goes out into the general community and this is kind of like a private gathering.

Giulia's said, "years ago, the group blogs just stayed within the group dynamic but now they do not" Without the asset of the blog.... it's like driving a car with no front wheels, BUT in can be done with a little practice and training and we'll still be able to get from point a to b.

As far as contacting the group administrators, right now, that would just be another variable to deal with and I cynically do not think the issues would be addressed in a timely manner. But I may very likely be mistaken, it  may be a good idea. I'd rather get some basic helpful communication guideline in place before doing that but It never hurts to ask questions and learn more, so please if you have the time, contact the administrators. it might help a lot.

I'm posting this in both our living rooms.

[John10forteen]

You got my gears working now. I WONDER IF WE MAKE THIS A CLOSED GROUP....... maybe our blogs will stay private within the group. 

Do you think we should try it out as an experiment? I just did.

It did not work.

I started an experimental group, made it closed, wrote a blog,..... it showed up in the main community blogs. I deleted everything. I was worth a try.

[djmurray]

Thanks so much for everything you're doing to make this group work!  I don't particularly like the idea of making it closed because I think that sends the wrong message.  I want everyone to feel that they can come in here and deal with their health/weight/exercise issues freely.  I've suggested in a couple of comments that people come in and create their own living room.  Maybe that's too complicated, I don't know. 

[bonnie-12-28-14]

Just stopping by your living room to say hi!!!  We ended up skipping the outlet mall it was soo crowded but we did stop by DSW on the way home and I did get some good walking sandals.  

Have a great evening.  

[djmurray]

Thanks for the visit, Bonnie!  I think I should get some good walking shoes as well.  I plan to take a walk tomorrow because the weather is supposed to be mild with no rain, and it will be a good chance for me to test out how far I can go.  The diet is going really, really well.  I'm so glad I ditched the Medifast and am just doing it on my own.  Tonight I had some thin beef strips that I had bought and eaten plain a week or so ago and frozen the rest.  Well, I defrosted one package which consisted of three thin strips of beef, and I sauteed them with portabella mushrooms and onions, and then I threw in the remainder of the brown rice I had day before yesterday.  I made a spinach salad to go with it and it was heavenly.  When I got home from bingo tonight I was kind of hungry so I had a snack of celery, raw cabbage, raw cauliflower and tomatoes and I loved that as well!  I think I was meant to eat healthy!!

I have my weigh in tomorrow, and I don't know whether I've lost much weight, but I do know I feel good.  Not smoking and eating healthy is giving me more energy and making me feel good about life in general.

[John10forteen]

What does everyone think about changing the group’s name to 

1) Habitually Healthy

2) Healthy by Habit

3) .... other ideas....?

[bonnie-12-28-14]

That sounds really good Donna.  Good luck on your walk today.  Being outside has it's own healing qualities.