My grandmother passed away yesterday. She was 90 years old. I know that is a very good long life, but it is still hard to let go. I ended up at the funeral home making the arrangements for her memorial service since not one of her three sons was going to do it. My dad is an OTR trucker, so he wasn't able to do it, and my 2 uncles just didn't want to go through the hassle and end up with the bill. I am very disappointed with my family right now for that. She deserves a service, so I made sure she was going to get one. Her service will be on Monday. It sounds like a lot of the family will be able to come home in order to attend. I am glad for that.
Of course the thought of a cigarette ran very high in my mind yesterday. Between the sadness of her passing, and the anger at the uncles for not stepping up, but I am proud to say that I was able to stay strong through it and not smoke. My grandma would not have wanted me to slip up because she passed on.
I think that Grandma might have chosen her own time to go. We all knew she was in terrible shape and had been in the hospital for a week and a half due to a massive heart attack. They were going to move her into a nursing home yesterday. Grandma always said she would not live in a nursing home, and she passed on the day they were going to bring her to one. I am believing that is what she would have wanted. She lived a long life, had 3 kids, 5 grandkids, and 5 great grandkids. I am grateful that she is no longer suffering in a bed unable to walk or even feed herself, but I do of course miss her.
