discouraged

[poppyblossom]

I've been smoking for five years now. I've given it a few half hearted attempts to quit but have yet to reach my goal. My husband smokes as well and doesn't seem to share my desire to be smoke free. My failure to quit makes me feel powerless and pathetic. I feel as if quitting should be easy and it isn't. Despite writing pros/cons lists in which the con's list remains completely empty I just can't seem to stop. I'm well aware that I am getting absolutely nothing from this repulsive habit. Now my self loathing is at an all time high and my self esteem is at an all time low. I feel as if I am truly at the end of my tether.