Well, today is day 107, and all I guess one can do is take everything one day at a time. I went to the convenience store I use to buy my cigarettes from all the time for the first time since I quit today. I had already practiced what I would do. Thankfully it all went as planned. I went to the back got a coke went up to the counter and the cashier (I've been shopping here for over 15 years) asked if i wanted to buy a pack of smokes....that was the first time i've been asked that. I simply said nope. The best part is I didn't want to get them, even with them all right in front of me. When I smell smoke I don't crave. The smell of smoke actually makes me pretty sick.
I do have to report that for some reason I have had a sudden loss of appetite. I don't know if it is because in therapy we've started talking about the deep seeded problems. It's kinda bringing old memories up randomly. But I haven't even thought about a cigarette. I wish I could write a more cheery blog, but it's just not in me. There are little parts of cheeriness, but not like usual. I refuse to let nicotine be a part of my life because I know it will just make me more depressed. It does feel good to not be a slave in the sense of whenever I would be depressed or having problems I would smoke heavily. Well not anymore, this new path to freedom I have realized is and will be a constant road of learning how to cope differently. Addiction to nicotine is just like any other addiction. It eats away at a person, but the good thing is that with recovery we can all rebuild. As I have quit, i have had to strip everything down to the basic foundation and I have started to rebuild. Earthquake (cigarettes being the earthquake) proofing my foundation, I have a lot of work ahead of me. But if I keep my mind focused on being a better me I know I can do all of this. Granted I can't do it alone.
I've been reading some really inspiring blogs some of them have been from the elders and a couple really good ones from newbies/ones who haven't quit yet. I'm happy to see the positivity and that through all of us sharing our experiences and our stories we are not only helping each other but all of those who are yet to come. You never know, you could be the deciding factor/ reason someone decides to finally throw the nasty things away forever.
For anyone who is even thinking about it, join this site, educate yourself, think about what would make you most successful. For me, music, chatting online with friends, word searches, and simply talking and even exercise has helped me. Once you begin to feel the positive effects that come after quitting cigarettes it keeps building on your motivation. Use this site to the whole potential that you can. It has great groups, friend some of these AMAZING people who have literally changed my life. Like I said it's not easy. But nothing good in life comes easy. You are strong enough. It doesn't matter your age whether your 18 or 81 it is NEVER too late to quit smoking
Zackie 107DOF
