haven't written a blog post in quite some time. i was feeling that I was a little too dependent on coming on this site to get past my cravings and such during my first month. maybe it doesn't matter at all. but i am happy to report that i have been 41 days smoke free, not one puff ever. honestly, i never really believed that i'd be able to quit for this long. and you know what? not only was i able to, but it hasn't even been as tough as i thought it would be. as we all know, it's no walk in the park, and i'm not very far into no man's land yet, but i feel confident. i'm stronger than i knew i was.
i wasn't weak, i was addicted. over the course of the last month or so i've been reading other's blogs sporadically, people who have kept up their quits for years, and people who are in the first few days. it's hard to see at first how you get from one point to the other. and i know how... one freaking day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if you have to. because the FREEDOM is so worth it. the freedom is just coming into focus for me.
as an example, i went to atlantic city this past weekend for a night. thought it would be tough being around all the smoke and booze and gambling, just really the worst place for an addict of any type to be. and you know what? i realized that i am free right now in a way that the smokers in the place are not. and that feels really good. and that starts to reinforce the quit. not that there aren't tough moments. randomly walking to work today by all the old convenience stores i used to frequent, had some cravings. and i just remember NOPE. get through these three minutes. play with my phone, chew on gum, do freaking jumping jacks, do whatever. just don't go in that store. no need for it. don't want to put back on those chains. being free is such a wonderful privledge.
anyway, i guess this is a really long-winded way of saying that i am by no means finished with my journey, i still have challenges to overcome. but i wanted to try to encourage everyone else that might be struggling, i know, at least, that it is possible to get to where i've gotten. you have support. you are strong. you are worth it. keep it up. FREEDOM!
