In just one week so much has happened in my world it seems like the last 7 days had a month's worth of problems in it.
I can't attend the funeral service for my niece's husband because I will be in a hospital with my husband who is having heart catheterization that same day. And I will not only miss the service, I will actually be about 3 hours away, and will be gone for 3 days at least.
So, I am really just sad about the situation. And I have not yet been able to think of my nieces' loss without being just a bit mad at God. And crying because this little lady has had so few times in her life when she got to enjoy the normal joys of life. So, yay!!!! she got to be married to someone who actually loved her and treated her right--for 6 weeks she was Mrs. and had a husband, just like regular folk. Six weeks.
Tonight I was puttering in my kitchen and I happened to look up and see the flowers I am drying, hanging from a quilt rack mounted on the ceiling. The flowers from my nieces wedding 6 weeks ago. The flowers I was going to arrange into a pretty dried flower display, perhaps under glass--something to commemorate their special day.
This loss has hit the whole community, a little bit like what you see when a child dies. Every one was so happy for her. For them. For just such a short time. Every person who asks how my niece is doing, has tears in their eyes.
Why am I blogging this here, on the quit-smoking site? Well, first off, because smokers and ex-smokers "get" each other in a way that is different from non-smokers. Maybe it is just a trick of the addiction, but smokers do have a bond. I guess it's the fact that we share membership in the "pariah" club. or something. So, we are among friends here, right? Well, some of you are still my friends. Those of you who can get past the fact that I DEFENDED ADMIN. PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!!!
The other reason, and the more important one, is that this week has woken up my sensitivity to the fragility of life like no other death has ever done before. And now, with my husband and his health problems, well I am just a little sensitive these days. I look at him and remember why I married him, and hope for many more years. I look at him and am grateful for the years we have had. And I know I am blessed.
Smoker, or ex-smoker, wherever you are in your quit journey, never ever lose sight of the fact that today is the most important day. Will you spend it smoking? Or will you spend it loving and living?
