Too hard

[Aherrington90]

This is my first post as I am new here.I have smoke like 2 (sometimes more) boxes of cigarettes a week for YEARS.My parents were smokers(not the kind that went outside, the kind that suffocated you in the house with their smoke), my grandparents were smokers....I have tried to quit MANY times.  And EVERY time, the stress of life takes over and I quit trying to quit!!! I have basically lived in cigarette smoke my entire life. I do take mine outside so our house don't wreak of cigarettes and so my kids don't have to be forced to breathe it in like I was. I have tried patches, gum, lozenges, gummies....NOTHING IS WORKING. At this point I don't think I'll ever be able to quit and I'm frustrated and stressed and it's raining so it's not like going outside for fresh air will work. I have signed up for text messages, that didn't work.....I read after about 10 or so minutes the urge to smoke passes....well it don't!!! At least for me. I've tried quitting cold turkey, reducing the number of cigarettes I smoke, like I'm almost ready to give up trying to quit. I would like to know if any of you on here have felt like this and what did you do.....just a heads up I have kids from ages 2-15.

[RainbowHeart]

You go outside to smoke, but going outside for fresh air won't work?

I have been where you are, with every excuse why I couldn't quit. The thing is though, you can if you want to. You just have to want to quit more than you want to smoke and it becomes a no brainer. It still won't be easy, but once you actually want to quit it becomes doable.

I wish you the best of luck

[Aherrington90]

I realized when I wrote it it sounded crazy. But about 2 minutes after I got through typing all that out, I actually felt better.

[MarilynH]

Welcome to the community @Aherrington90 please read everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT with commitment and perseverance you will perservere through whatever comes your way and you'll do one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at time deep breaths and believe in yourself because we believe in you and we're rooting you on You've got this! I'm not very tech savvy so I'm going to mention Nancy @YoungAtHeart she does a welcome with links for you to read. I smoked roughly 30 cigarettes a day for 40 years with at least a half dozen failed attempts at trying emphasis on trying otherwise one of those attempts would've stuck! It wasn't until I found out that I have copd that I finally wised up, I got on line and found this community and I read and kept on reading and set up a quit date and when it arrived I wasn't ready so I reset it and with the help of this community I made it through and so will you BUT you must be willing determined and committed to succeed then you will succeed in living a life of Freedom. When your quit arrives keep your mind as well as your hands occupied and at the end of the day you'll be able to say YAY for Day WON with many more to come! 

[Aherrington90]

I joined many communities but not this one. I found it recently. I truly hope to quit this year. Maybe I do need to reset my date. I also realized that typing that out truly helped so maybe I'll do journaling. Thank you so much for the support. 

[Anonymous · Accepted solution]

I'm sorry that you want to quit and feel that nothing works for you and that it's too hard .

You are not alone with these feelings . Most of us have had them also to varying degrees but I promise you that if you stay here and if you really want to quit smoking you will .

The only thing that can stop you from being successful is you . We are our worst enemies and give in before the miracle happens . You can make this quit a success .

We hope you will choose to stay .

Quitting smoking is all about making choices not to smoke in circumstances and situations that trigger you when you are  under pressure of a crave . Craves are a part of the process and they are not a bad thing . It's a part of healing . 

Here are things you may find helpful ....

Know the Ds . Distract , delay , discuss, drink water , take deep breathes and don't feed the craves .  You can do a search for many articles on this 

Know halt .. hungry , angry , lonely tired . Before you smoke ask your self are you one of those things listed . Many times it's not a smoke you want but just maybe tired or lonely . 

 Keep it simple , just for today pledge with others here and don't smoke. Take it hour by hour if you have to or even minute by minute . 

Post before you smoke ... post as many times as you need to ... people are here to listen and to help and we understand . 

Your part in this is what makes the outcome of this quit a success or not .  NRTs work if you work with them and don't expect them to do all the work for you . It doesn't work that way . You will still have craves and you have to work hard .  That's normal . . A little hard work as we know never hurts anyone . Smoking will . 

We have had many here who have smoked fifty plus years . You can do this . Stay , read , post , plan , take action . Don't smoke no matter what .. it's the shortest way through this . It really is, but no matter what we are here for you . 

Welcone to being  an ExSmoker  . 

[Aherrington90]

Thank you for that awesome advice. 

[YoungAtHeart · Accepted solution]

Welcome!

I felt just as you do,, but unlike you, I so believed I would not be able to quit that I never even tried.....UNITIL a vascular surgeon apprised me of the damage I had done by smoking.  He told me that he could fix what I had done, but that if I continued to smoke, he would probably not be able to fix me . I quit on my first and only attempt at it more than nine years ago!  I read all I could, planned, prepared, got support and made up my mind that I was only going to do this once.  I accepted that there was never going to be  good reason to smoke, that there are only excuses, and I didn't make one!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”    You can search for it online or at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be

From my own experience and that of others here, if you decide to use a quit aid, I recommend those that don't let the addict control the dose such as Rx drugs and the patch.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the page.

Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Journals-Blogs/101-Things-to-Do-Instead-of-Smoke/ba-p/1028319

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[Aherrington90]

What steps did you take to prepare yourself to quit? @YoungAtHeart ? I threw out all my ashtrays the third time I tried to quit, washed my hair and all my clothes. I only smoke outside so I never got anymore ashtrays. 

[jmcl34331]

@Aherrington90 My situation is similar -- my parents and grandparents smoked (in the house, in the car, everywhere near us).  I smoked for 30+ years myself and stress was a big one for me when I would try to quit; seemed like every time I put them down something stressful would come up and I would go right back.  But for me, that was just my excuse to keep smoking. 

I am on day 8 nicotine free and I did not think that was possible.  The key is to do whatever it takes to not pick up another -- this is mostly a mind game.  If journaling works do that instead;  write down the stressor instead of smoking.  Others here mentioned the D's -- journaling can be one of those for you.

The first couple of days were rough and I don't think anyone here will tell you otherwise but I will tell you after 8 days I feel free -- Yesterday I actually spent the first  full day ever with my children without planning out where my next smoke was going to be or even thinking a lot about smoking at all and it was what I want my life to be.

Keep up with it, you can quit as many here can attest to