There is nobody looking, tell me what would you do?

[BryantD]

Ok,,tell me what happens when you get the urge to smoke, only because it is a habit, and the triggers never really go away, you just learn to subdue them? Well here it is I am in a room and my best friend is smoking.  I usually smoke with him as we talk and about talking, about nothingnext to smomething that could be important.  The trigger was the entire situation. What do I do with my hands? What do I do about the stinky smell that is all too familiar, but none the less I want to join in. Do I tell my friend to put the cigarette out? Do I just walk away? Do I grab a cigarette and join in? In this case tell me what would you do.. there is no right or wrong answers so be brutally honest, what would you do? 

[dwwms]

I have been around friends or coworkers smoking since I quit, but it has always been outside where it is much more comfortable for me to avoid the smell. Even when I smoked, I honestly did not like the smell inside of a building, though I suppose there was a time I accepted it. So if I wanted to carry on a conversation with my friend who smokes, I would ask him to either take a walk or not to smoke if we were indoors. And about your title - "if nobody is looking", as though you could get away with it. I have to remain true to myself, first & foremost, so even if nobody else knew, I would. And secondly, like said before, I know there is no such thing as "just one".

[elvan]

A good portion of the time, I am alone and I could choose to smoke if I wanted to.  I do not spend time indoors with other people smoking, BryantD.  There is absolutely no smoking in my house, never HAS been.  I did not quit smoking to inhale someone else's waste products.  My lungs have been challenged enough.  I would ask the friend to not smoke around me or I would remove myself and I would say that I HAVE to protect my quit.  I have been protecting this quit for over three years.  This is NOT a habit, it IS an addiction and your recovery has to be treated as such. One day at a time, one event at a time. NOPE, Not One Puff Ever.  No one is around?  YOU are around and YOU are the person you are quitting for.

Ellen

[BryantD]

 Touché 

[dkr953]

I would ask my friend if I could have a cig---which is exactly what I did last night--I have had one cig each day since I started my quit 4 days ago--I hated it--I wish they had a rehab for nicotine addicts--each morning I come here and read and read and promise myself--then someone with a cig stops by or I actually go looking for just one--I am using the patch and gum and reading on here a lot---Damn I am struggling--If I had the person who encouraged me to smoke 44 years I would punch him so very hard---So far today I have been good--but I still have 9 hrs to go until bedtime--I can do this but nicotine has a very strong hold on me---I will probably die thinking I can do this--that isn't what I want--see how messed up I am---

[YoungAtHeart]

If you have quit smoking and you are still smoking, you are doing it wrong!

Commit!  Get busy!  Put any cigarettes (including any half smoked) under water and then the trash!  Keeping any around is giving yourself permission to smoke.  Once you quit, that is no longer an option!

You must decide you will not smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT - and then honor that decision.

When you say, "I still have 9 hours to go..." that says to me that you are trying to white knuckle this quit.  That will just wear you out.  What, exactly, do you think smoking does for you?  If you answered anything but "gives a brief hit of dopamine." then you are wrong.  It's all lies.  You can get that dopamine hit by exercising, listening to music, dancing to music, having sex, eating chocolate, so somewhere where smoking isn't allowed.  Get busy!  Stay busy!  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your head alone.

You CAN do this; I know you can!

Get to it!

Nancy

[Diannnnn]

You can do this! This is my opinion and others may differ, but here goes.

Don't give up the quit because of the slips. Instead, when you do slip, pay attention to every thing about the smoke and how it feels physically and mentally. Write it down, call someone and tell them, heck, make a video of yourself smoking. I am trying to do that and each slip gives me information. For example, I had part of one about 20 minutes ago. It made my mouth yucky, my throat irritated, and I did not like one thing about the act. I had to grab a cherry ricola to get rid if the taste and ease my throat, so no second cup of coffee for me. Overall, the slip was not worth the price. Again, this is based on me and my journey. Individual results may vary.  ;o)

Thanks for voicing this question. It was super-thought provoking for me!

Stay the course,

Dian

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Your Quit Will Be Yours, 'Til You Don't Want It Anymore.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

In July of last year, you had 599 days. If you are still quit, you have over two years.

What does being around someone who smokes have to do with anything? If it bothers you, you get up and leave.

Have you not been in any proximity to smokers in two years?

When I quit my helper kept smoking. He was overly conscientious of not smoking around me. (he was the person I was asked to quit for)

Finally I just said, I don't care if you smoke in the truck as long as our windows are down.  🙂

[BryantD]

this is what I was looking for the raw, real stuff. Read my second post.  Aaaah.  Thanks for your honesty. And  tolerance  

[Giulia]

I think there IS a wrong answer.  And that wrong answer would be to grab a cigarette and join in.  Assuming you want to stay smoke-free.  

To my mind, if the entire situation is a trigger, then one must remove oneself from the trigger or change the triggering experience by rending it impotent.  In other words by asking your friend not to smoke or to smoke away from your presence.  

dkr953‌  "I will probably die thinking I can do this"  Better you should do it and live.  Ask your friends when they stop by NOT to give you a cigarette.  Get through one day.  Just one whole day.  You'll be amazed how much it boosts your self esteem.  And each day will build upon the next until you suddenly have a week behind you.