Still Smoking, going through the preparation steps

[farmgirl420-2]

I am 58 years old and have been smoking since I was 17. My whole life is intertwined with cigs. On the trigger page, I felt like just putting down "being awake" as a trigger. I am not sure I can do this, guys. When I was pregnant with my son, I cut down to 1 or 2 cigs a day and would go several days without a cig and finished up my pregnancy pretty much smoke free. That is the last time, I was able to make any headway with this addiction. One of my biggest triggers is when I am thinking or planning some project or composing a letter for the church members or communication for work, anywhere I want to sound intelligent and coherent. So I am thinking that when I quit I might become this walking zombie whose responses are regulated to one syllable answers. My head just seems to be wrapped in gauze and unable to function. I am just not sure I can do this guys.

My two biggest motivations are fear of future health problems. In 2010 I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer and went through surgery, chemo, and radiation and no cancer has shown up on PET scans. I was amazed that there was nothing in my lungs. So I feel foolish taking the risk by still smoking. The other reason is I have a 2-year-old grandson who has started picking up pieces of grass or pins, holding them just like I hold my cig, putting in his mouth, and blowing out air. He is so cute when he does it, but that is NOT what I want him to learn from me.

I don't know if I can do this, guys.

[farmgirl420-2]

While out caking the cows, I got to thinking that if I can substitute physical activity for some of the times that I smoke that would help. So instead of rolling over in bed and lighting up a cig, I will get up and do some stretching exercises (possibly incorporating picking up my bedroom, oooh, radical idea there). I used to be fairly active in my younger years, doing a physical job (stonecutter) and playing softball. Now that I have gotten older and traded jobs to a sitting job typing hospital reports and being less active (the last line drive convinced me my reflexes are too slow to still play), my cig smoking has increased. Now to decrease it back and start to thinking of myself as a nonsmoker.

[terishope]

I can totally empathize with both of you! I still look at my reflection and don't see myself as a smoker, but I smoke every day. Its the first thing I do when I get up, the last thing I do before I go to bed. I smoke when I'm happy and I want to smoke more when I down. It's my reward for dealing with stress and my medication to help me through it. Smoking is my emotional crutch.

What I find interesting is that I hid it from everyone except my hubby for years, and now that most everyone knows, I really want to quit. No one really gives me grief, but it is embarassing that they know. I don't let many people see me smoking, and I spray down with Febreeze and wash my hands, but they all know I smoke! I think the worst part is that some of the kiddos in my life know I smoke and as a new RN, it just plain feels rediculous. Hang in there!

[hollyproulx213]

I'm new also to quitting 2 packs a day.  Right now I am tracking my cigaretts for a week and triggers.  I can relate, you dont need a trigger to smoke.  I think actually speaking with people and educating myself on the effects of smoking will help me.  I'm not ready to go cold turkey, but I am working with Dr. LEE at Umass each week.  With her help and this group I know I hav3 abetter chance of succeding than without the support.  Wish all of you success.  Remember little successes we have will lead us to conquering this addiction.  Not sure how to navigate through this sysrem but eachday I will learn aliitle more.  Hope to hear from you. Hollyproulx213