No Christmas Here This Year

[minihorses]

As much as I adore this time of year I've decided to skip Christmas this year. It used to be fun when the kids were smaller but both boys are adults now with one 18 years old and one 25 year old. Being guys they don't really care about decorations or lights or anything else. I have a bunch of cookie dough ready to roll out and cut and decorate but I'm not wasting my time this year. I'm just going to get the kids what they want and they can have it when it comes into the house. I had to buy a new tree but it's still in the box so I'm going to have them put it it the attic for the next time we actually have a Christmas celebration. I'm the only Christian in the house so I will focus on Jesus and they can do whatever they want. I just don't feel like it would be an enjoyable one and I certainly don't need any extra stress! I'm ready to become a smoker again. It won't help my problems but I was actually happier then. I guess I just need an addiction of some sort and those are the only things that are legal besides alcohol and I don't drink. I'm not going to make that decision or act on it yet, it's always better to sleep on it and really think it through so I'm going to do just that. Thank you all for your continued support as you are the only ones that have supported me throughout this endeavor!

Peace to you all.

Julie  36 DOF

[Deb-EX]

See that's the Christmas MIRACLE! So happy for you Julie! 

[MarilynH]

Christmas is a magical time of year full of miricles that's why I believe Christ is in Christmas! Because we know Christ is the reason for the Season Merry CHRISTmas Julie and congratulations on 38 precious DOF and counting 

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Miracles Happen every single day!

[Daniela2016]

I am so happy for you Julie!  Our kids appreciate the holiday even if we feel they don't, it was always a happy time for them growing up, and it spills into adulthood, and puts the basis for their own traditions.  You have a couple of wonderful sons, and just think how happy you'll be in a couple of weeks, smoke free and enjoying the spirit of Christmas!

[elvan]

Julie, I could not be happier for you...this will be a Christmas to remember for all of the RIGHT reasons.  Thank you so much for sharing the Christmas spirit coming around at your house!

Hugs,

Ellen

[minihorses]

I think the reason I thought they didn't care was right in front of my face, I just forgot it. They are boys. Boys don't make a big deal over celebrations once they hit their teens and above. I grew up (the baby in the family) with a sister and 2 brothers. My mom, sister, and I did all the fun Christmas stuff. We baked, we decorated, we went carolling in the snow with the girl scouts and neighbors. Time goes by and kids grow up and I must have had the nostalgia somewhere in the back of my brain, I just couldn't see it.

My youngest brat (yes I call them that for fun) wanted to make Christmas cookies yesterday! I showed him how to get the dough ready, how to roll it out. tricks for getting the cut dough off the rolling pad onto the cookie sheet without mangling them. We worked together, had a lot of fun, and cleaned up together. I think we are going to decorate them today. I haven't slept in 4 days so they may be a little ugly but who cares, they'll get eaten ugly or not! On to making space for the tree!  I think we are going to find our favorite Christmas episode of the Twilight Zone, "The Night Of The Meek" and watch it together later. 

Julie

[Deb-EX]

Julie my son is 12 will be 13 in April - I feel the same way as you, what I THINK doesn't seem to actually be what he feels.I've said it before, but I feel like I am not only relearning how to live my life smoke free, but I am relearning my own son. He's not what he seems to be.. even the kiss good bye or good night is all different! He is also adjusting to these changes in ME. My husband says I'm so much calmer and so much more understanding ever since I quit. I hadn't realized that getting mad I would immediately retreat to the outside to smoke it off.. never resolved a damn thing - I just caused chaos in my own head and seemingly my family. I did not realize but YES I AM calmer, I still don't understand how that can be - I mean isn't that why I smoked to stay calm??!! HA! My NOT smoking seems to have affected my family for the good, as much as my smoking had affected my family for the bad. Who Knew! 

I am so glad that you are enjoying your time with your boys during this Christmas season... these are the true moments that are gone in a blink of an eye. These are the Christmas miracles!

[minihorses]

I noticed that every time I quit I was much calmer dealing with my son that has Asperger's. Especially before he was diagnosed at 13. He supposedly had ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), and depression.  He was kicked out of a preschool and was constantly being suspended from kindergarten through most of his high school days. Talk about STRESS, I thought I was as you say retreating to the outside to calm down. So why did I keep going back smoking knowing it made me more impatient with him. Addiction and old coping methods kicked in. Back to being a nervous, short tempered, b**ch! Until I kick this thing goodbye for good I hope I will calm down again. Enjoy your time with your kids because they really do grow up fast. That means I'm old too 

Julie

[CommunityAdmin]

minihorses‌ before you toss the traditions because they don't seem to care, perhaps think of this.  As a young man it's easy to be distracted by the many things going on in one's life at that time. Faith isn't seen as a priority for most young men of that age. Well young adults in general.  I remember in my 20's feeling that I didn't have time for it. I recognized I would make the time in my 30's when life had calmed down and I had a family of my own.  I made sure I made it home each year for the holidays.  I probably didn't always express how much I liked the traditions that were established but I did.  They were my sense of home. I know my grandparents were the ones who really brought family together. My last two grandparents passed within a month of each other after living into their mid 90's.  My mom will carry on the holiday traditions.  I look back on the holidays when I was 25.  We always went South to my aunt's house every 5th to 8th year. My family including my siblings and their families were to join us.  Around Thanksgiving that year my father had a medical condition that kept him from traveling that Christmas.  It wasn't planned but Xmas was much different for me that year than the past 24. It was hard to be without my parents even though I was surrounded by my siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles.  I look back and appreciate all those times that my mother and grandmother and aunts made the holidays happen. I may not have said thank you every time but I know that if they hadn't done it that that tradition could be easily lost.   I also had a friend just recently tell me that a couple years ago after her grandmother died, her mother and  brothers had gotten inconsistent with celebrating Thanksgiving together. Because they hadn't been consistent her family had all arranged their own activities on Thanksgiving and she was left alone. She's unmarried and not dating anyone so she was alone on a day she didn't want to be alone.  So the moral of this story is, they're boys(not an excuse but a possible explanation) so they may not speak up and appreciate the traditions you've established.  But please invite them to participate, get them involved and still have a tradition. Be frank, don't go all out, but tell them that you're going to do certain things and if they would like something in particular you'll assist them in making it happen so long as they're a willing participant.  They may not thank you now, but they'll thank you later...  On top of that, you've quit and that is a great thing to have happened.  They can help you celebrate and help you make the traditions happen, they're capable young men.

Mark
EX Community Manager

[terri54]

I think you should make the Christmas cookies and take them to an Assisted Living or Nursing Home. Those people would really enjoy some company and a cookie. Jesus is the reason for the season so do something he would do! You can get through this because you want to smoke to hurt your family as I am sure they don't want you to smoke. I agree that you should decorate the tree and put on some Christmas music. I didn't want to celebrate Christmas either then I started to listen to Christmas music. My daughter is leaving town with her family to visit my other daughter but it's just too far to drive for us so I was feeling down too. The Christmas music and visiting the stores and looking at their decoration they are selling for Christmas has really changed my attitude!