I committed to becoming an ex-smoker over 8 weeks ago. I got through the past 8 weeks with nicotine patches and nicotine gum. Now I just have the gum to get me through the times of the day that I marked with a cigarette.
I can’t give all the credit to NRT for getting me this far. The credit for the final push to quit goes solely to my sister’s diagnosis of lung cancer. I quit with her, prior to her surgery. In hindsight, I can see where I was becoming more and more conscious of the cost to my health, my time and my finances, which provided fertile ground for me to commit to quitting.
What has sustained my commitment is the awareness of when I am weak and why. One day I was so tired and stressed that I went out to lunch with the intention of buying cigarettes. On the way to the store I realized how tired I was and told myself that I was in no condition to make this choice. I needed to wait to be well-rested before I could blow all the time I’d already put in which was just over 2 weeks. (They were LONG weeks).
All of the time I have spent practicing “watching my thoughts” (aka meditation) over the years has really been beneficial in being able to catch the thoughts of not being strong enough or resolved enough.
Still, I felt I would be more successful if I only committed to one day at a time. Which is the commitment I’ve made. Just today I won’t smoke. My intention is to make the same commitment tomorrow. And to remind myself always of how trapped I was being addicted to smoking. I grew up in a smoking household, had my first cigarette at age 11 and have been smoking regularly since 13. I’m 53 so smoking has been pretty much my whole life.
In what I thought was a cruel twist of irony, my throat has been very sore at night since I quit smoking. And my sinuses have been raw. No classic nose bleeds but blowing out small amounts of blood. Also I often have gum bleeding when I floss since I quit. There doesn’t seem to be much information about these symptoms in the aftermath of stopping smoking tobacco. But I have found references to these symptoms on the internet. That’s how I found this website. So I thought I’d sign up and say hi to all of the other folks out there that entered this brave new world of being a non-smoker. I feel like I’m still regenerating and I’m not sure who I am yet. 😉
