Hello everyone, I just joined this website a few mintues ago but already I'm feeling very determined. I hope to make some friends here, build a good support group, and quit smoking for good. I thought I would share my story with you all to help you get to know me a little better.
I started smoking when I was dating a guy who smoked heavily, at least one pack a day, when I was 19. We broke up a few years later, but the next guy I dated and eventually married smoked just as much. I continued smoking until I got pregnant with my first. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't give it up. I did cut WAY back, smoking one a day then going a few months without then smoking a half every other day, but the guilt was killing me. The only reason I continued was because I was having major marital issues and couldn't handle the stress of that, being pregnant, and dealing with everything else. As soon as she was born I picked it up again. Last March I got pregnant again, this time with twins! I was able to quit on April 20, 2013 and with the exception of maybe two or three slip ups, both my husband (who quit about 2 weeks after me) and I were smoke free for almost a year.
On April 2, 2014 our family had a major crisis and we both picked up smoking again. I can tell how awful it is - I feel it in my throat, my energy levels, I hate the taste in my mouth and the smell of it on my hands. I hate spending money on it when we're having trouble already, and I want to be healthy again for my kids (don't worry, despite everything I have never smoked around them and when I go outside I make a very concious effort to wear a sweater/jacket and wrap a blanket around my legs no matter how hot it is so I don't get smoke on my clothes. I also wash my hands when I come in).
I'm ready. I'm SO ready. It's been just over 3 months since I started again and I feel just so awful about it. The main problem that I'm having is that my husband is now telling me he refuses to quit. He won't make an effort at all and it's really incredibly hard on me for many reasons. I'm hoping that if I quit it will encourage him to get back on the wagon with me.
Anywho, there is my story! Hope to talk to you all more soon.
