My husband and I are our biggest problems!

[lana7]

We have tried to quit together befor but it seems we bring each other down instead of helping each other out.  How do we get passed being each others weakness and become eachothers strengths.

[leann1027]

Lana,

That is a fabulous question, one I wanted to ask as well.  My husband and I smoked our last cigarrette on January 3rd right before going to bed.  I met him in 1999 and I was a social smoker at that time and he was a full-time smoker.  I picked up the habit full-time when I met him.  I have been smoking with him for 10 years now. 

I find that I have to control my thoughts around him, since the least little thing he does makes me crave a cigarrette.  I feel my chest tightening when he starts humming (he's been doing that since Monday morning occassionally-first day smoke free).  I have been slightly sarcastic with him, but I am a pretty nice, easy going person, so in the next couple of breaths, I'm usually saying something nice to him to balance the sarcasm.

I hear people say, "You are so lucky that you have a partner to quit with!"  or I hear "Great, you both can double team the habit".  I totally disagree with this philosophy that people have.  In my situation, I think its harder to quit together with your spouse.  It is for me anyway!

We are making it though and working on day three of being non-smokers.  We have quit several times in the past only to find that one of us gives in and we both start smoking again.

Wish us luck!  Also good luck to you Lana!!!

[that1gurl]

Wow... this was a perfect post and answer for me to read. I just signed up on here and have the exact same problem. Glad to know we're not the only couple like this. I also was just a social smoker, met my husband at work and he'd give me cigs so I'd go out and talk to him on his smoke breaks. The rest is history. Now I'm pregnant and need to quit, but I don't know how... yet.

[lana7]

It has realy made me feel good to know that its not just me. Thanks everyone for your storys. I wish all of you the best of luck.

[mpennington]

Same here, only my husband isn't ready to quit smoking yet. I have to fight the urge to go out in the garage with him everyday and sometimes I lose that battle.

[c1classic]

I've found my wife to be an amazing source of strength since we have quit smoking.  We haven't really talked about how we impact each other, but it really helps me to see her facing the same battles and staying strong.  We are both also pretty competitive, so I'm sure neither of us will be the one who cracks first, haha. 

The only downside is that we've encountered in the past if that we both cave if one of us does.  But, we both came into this time with a different focus and clearly define goals that extend beyond just not smoking.  It's helped a ton to set other goals and to understand how smoking affects those goals. 

[coldturkey]

Team effort? My wife and I are trying once again, like mpenningtonton we have set our goals. I am going cold turkey and my wife is using the patch. It's true when trying as a team one usually gaves in and then the other follows. We haven't quit yet we have a quit date of 1/31/10, but we have cut back alot from 1 1/2 - 2 packs ady each to 1/2 apck day each since 1/1/10. I have reallly think I have the mind set to quit. I really hope leann1027 quits because she is pregnant. Good luck to all stay strong and when it comes to smoking put your will before your wants. Another way to think of it just think if everyone on this site quit what are the lobbyist going to be doing, they'll have to find a way to ban all of the quit smoking meds and tools.

[alissa2]

I think its really difficult to quit with your spouse, my husband and I have tried this twice.  Both time I caved and began smoking again, the first time he started again with me.  I felt so guilty having him start back smoking only because I was too weak to stop.  The second time we quit I caved again, but hid from him the fact I had started smoking, I was able to keep it from hime for many weeks.  He now knows I am smoking but has not started, and does not plan to, for this I am glad. I have set my quit date for the 14th of this month and think I will so better by talking to people on here.  Best of luck to you.

[ithinkican]

I don't know which is harder! Quitting with your spouse or without.... I'm trying to quit, my husband isn't ready to... it's a lot easier for me to cut back or put off having a cigarette around non-smokers. I quit for 10 months a couple of years ago, but then being around my husband, my mom, my friends that smoke - eventually, I convinced myself it was no big deal to have one every once in a while blah blah blah, and now I am a regular smoker again... how do people deal with their spouse smoking? any words of wisdom? What do you do when you know your partner is going out for a smoke and you want one so badly too?

[kaf1968]

Yes, the garage gets me too, sometimes.  I have had 2 smokes during the past  22 days.  My husband smokes cigars in the garage.  It is kind of annyoying when he says no one gets cancer from cigars....bah hum bug.  Maybe I should try cigars.