My First 50 Days

[Sandi4]

So....here I am.  Today marks fifty days nicotine free.  Wow.

You won't see many blogs from me because I'm not a writer but I thought I would use this platform for two reasons today. It's a long one so you'll probably be happy that I'm not a regular contributor:)

The first reason is to thank the community, the Elders, those who share their experiences, the admins...just everyone whose words have helped me and those who keep this site running.  Become an Ex has been such a blessing to me.  I often see "take what works and leave the rest." Well, I must say that at this point in my quit, I've taken almost everything!  For those who are just coming to this site...every tool you need is right here.  You just have reach out and take it.

My second reason for blogging today is for the Newbies and those who have relapsed and are making their comeback.  "This ain't my first time at the rodeo."  I joined this site 9 years ago and had a 6 month quit.  I threw it away because my best friends were separating....how crazy is that? Granted they are like a sister and brother to me but I was not in that marriage.  They both came to me with their problems and tears and drama and I CHOSE to throw 6 months away because of the demise of SOMEONE ELSE'S marriage.  It took me 9 years to quit again.  NINE FREAKING YEARS.  They both moved on and the husband remarried (and is divorced again). The wife has created numerous successful businesses and is living her ridiculously best life.  But I WAS STILL SMOKING.  The lesson...picking up that first cigarette didn't help me, help them.  It only hurt me for another NINE YEARS.

I tell you all this because if you're doing your reading, you've seen numerous times, that smoking won't change any circumstance you're facing.  Life is tough. So why make it tougher by hurting yourself?  Here's a glance at what I've faced in my first 50 days of this quit:

1. I quit smoking while I was visiting my parents over the holidays.  I love my mom but she is my biggest trigger.  No one can push my buttons like she can.  Always has, always will.  I know she's not changing...no reason to smoke.

2. Two deaths in my family.  One so sudden and shocking, I still tear up at least once a day.  Neither is coming back...no reason to smoke.

3. My daughter's father decided he wasn't going to pay child support for 6 months.  That was a 1K monthly deficit.  My child still had needs (and wants) and I have to maintain our home.  So I made some sacrifices and handled my business like a mother is supposed to.  No reason to smoke...the cigarettes would've eaten into my budget.

4. I gained 10 pounds and I wanted to lose 25 by my birthday in April.  I allowed myself to eat crap for the first 2 weeks of my quit so I wouldn't feel that I'd been deprived of everything I loved at once.   No reason to smoke. I returned to my healthy eating because I have a goal I want to meet.  BUT THEN, my sciatic nerve decided to give me trouble and I couldn't work out for several days.  No reason to smoke. I ate carefully until I could get back to the gym. 

5. Some changes have take place in the leadership at my job.  A Sr. Director who was instrumental in bringing me on board 5 years ago and someone I consider a friend was pushed out this week. He'd been there for over 35 years and they treated him like garbage.  I don't  know what's going to come down the road.  It's scary.  I need this job or do I? Is this a sign to start putting more energy into a side business that I've been approaching as if it were a hobby? Do I look for another company? Will I be able to maintain the lifestyle my daughter and I enjoy if I make changes?  So many questions....but still NO REASON to smoke.

Problems are going to come.  When they do, take a moment and breathe.  Think of solutions that don't involve smoking instead of thinking of excuses to smoke. Everyone on this site has some form of struggle at some point.  Not one of us is immune.  Shoot,  I'm only 50 days in this quit and like you, I'm taking it one day at a time.  Sometimes, a minute at a time.  But I want this to be my forever quit more than anything and I refuse to let any situation take it away from me.  

Don't be surprised when things don't go your way.  Be prepared and if you fall...dust yourself and get back on the horse so that you will celebrate your 50 Days of Freedom and beyond.  I pray that this will be helpful to someone.

Be well,

Sandi

[JimTaddeo]

You folks might be on to something here!

😃

[brucedog012]

Thank you

[mwilson0915]

What a fabulous post Sandi.   I celebrated 50 yesterday as well.  I love your authenticity and your experiences and I felt like a kindred spirit.  Thank you for that gift.   

[MichelleDiane]

Hi Sandi.  It's been a long while and seeing your story and name has inspired me to come out of the shadows.  I don't know if you remember me, but we were newbies together a long while ago.  It's been a difficult journey.  I am looking to set my quit date.  I can truly identify with your words.  Life happens.  Never a good reason to smoke.  I'm hoping to continue staying in the light and thank you for sharing.  Congratulations on your 50 days.

All the best,

Michelle

[Dcwise78]

Thank you so much for sharing, my original quit date was 1/17/22, since then I have had triggers and I have picked up the vape pen multiple times since. I find when I’m really stressed I reach for it like a baby with a security blanket. I also have other triggers like when the weekend is here and if I’m going out to have some drinks I want to smoke. I have smoked during those times but always regret it and try and start again. I keep praying for God to release this hold it has on me and I am also trying to stop smoking marijuana (I am legal I have my MML), and to stop drinking. Does it seem I am trying to quit all these at once so I’m failing at being consistent at quiting? I also find myself reaching for my vape pen when I’m bored, terrible thing to do and I’m trying to find things that can distract me from doing so. I keep nicotine gum in my pocket and my purse always, also I use toothpicks a lot and hard candy. I’m still struggling to let the vaping go completely and I’m not sure why. I’m very thankful for this group as I can feel I am getting good advice and strength from each blog I read. I know I will overcome this I just didn’t know how hard it would be. When I did go a week without smoking those triggers and cravings were right there with me and it was scary because I always had to be mindful that I could fail at any moment. I do have friends who smoke cigarettes and being around them can trigger me also. Good luck to everyone who is trying to overcome, this battle isn’t easy but I know it will be worth it, if I could just completely stop and get passed all the triggers and temptations and cravings.

[Barbscloud]

@Dcwise78 Happy to see you're still here and haven't given up.  Sandi does stop by on occasion, so maybe she'll she your post.  She was instrumental in my quit 4 years ago.  This isn't easy so you might try focusing on one thing at a time.   It sounds like you're keeping your vaping stuff around. That's the first step-- if you're committed, get rid of all the vaping paraphernalia.   You're making it harder on yourself having it available whenever you havea  craving.   Some quitters need to avoid situations early on that trigger their cravings.    Explain to your friends that you can't be around them smoking right now until you're stronger.  They'll understand.  

We all have triggers when we quit vaping/smoking.  We've associated every activity and emotion , good or bad with our nicotine addiction.  That's why it's  key is to establish tools and new associations instead of vaping.  I hope you've been reading about nicotine addiction and have worked on a quit plan.  Being prepared when faced with challenges is how we succeed.

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Please let us know how we can help.   Posting to Journals/Blogs will get you  a bigger response from the community.  Many of us couldn't do it alone.  That's why we're here.  People here helped us quit and we want to return the gift we've been given.

Barb

[Dcwise78]

Thank you very much for all the advice and for commenting back on my post and it’s very much helpful and very much needed right now for me I do need to focus on one thing at a time, so I am going to go back to that. I will be returning back to this and everyone’s post as much as possible so I can be held accountable and to gain strength from everyone’s stories. I hope today everyone will try a little harder than we have been on quitting and staying nicotine free for life. Have a blessed day everyone!!

[YoungAtHeart]

@Dcwise78 

The only folks who will see your return to the site are those who responded to your previous post.  I fear most in the community may not.  To remedy that, I recommend you write a blog to introduce yourself to the community (Home-top left; center blue box-"Post a Journal/Blog"  You might include your smoking history, why you want to quit, your quit date if you have set one, and anything else about yourself you care to share.  You will reach a wider audience this way.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Nancy

[Braided]

Wow! @Sandi4 You just helped me!  I keep a log of the pithy advice throughout this site and just added your “no reason to smoke”.  
thank you and congratulations: I hope this was your forever quit.  

[Auntb6530]

All very wise words.

Thank you for sharing.  For me,. It's my 50 days as well and it has been a roller coaster of emotions.

I won't take another puff because I will not put my mind and body through this trama  again. Finally getting to feel calm now but still don't feel like a non smoker.

I read on here it could take a year to train my brain to feel like a non smoker..made me feel better that I  not alone