Is It a Slip or a Chemise?

[YoungAtHeart]

I think it is a disservice to the newly quit to tell them it takes 9-12 (or something like that) attempts to quit smoking  So - if I make one decision to smoke - I still get 11 more tries?  Well, heck yeah - I'll have one!!!

I think it's better to be supportive - but not necessarily tell people it's expected.

What do you think?

[sherry102]

What's going on here ????  I am trying to quit ....... What is this about ?

[freeneasy]

I don't have much quitting experience-I smoked for 33 years after blowing a quit of about 4 years. I kind of admire people who "slip" on multiple attempts and keep trying. Many of them finally stop smoking. I am just comparing "serial quitters" or those that stop for a while an then "slip" to me,who just smoked and never tried to stop for years-33 straight! I sometimes wonder if I had tried and failed a few times but remained determined if I would have quit years ago... But if ifs and buts were candy and nuts....

[cory-3-10-13]

I agree wholeheartedly! It is a decision to smoke. However remembering back to the beginning of my quit, (which I admit seems foggy now!)  I was VERY afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid that I would never be able to quit at all...so to a new quitter knowing that if I did smoke it wasn't the end of the world, in a way made me feel less afraid...

Now I know that a "slip up" is a decision, but I'm not sure my tobacco addicted self would have looked at it that way. I'm just being honest here...although in my heart I know there is no reason to smoke even just one, anything that gets people quitting is fine with me! I think the first step is sometimes the hardest, so I don't understand why anyone would want to go back and take those first steps over and over and over and over...see what I mean? Too painful for me. Anywho, I've rambled enough...

I love this topic and I am curious to read lots of other people's opinions on it. Thanks Nancy for bringing this out to the light!

[kat102]

This is my quit, the one and only time I quit. I hate to think that people already have me set up for failure by saying it takes 9-12 tries when I thought that I was making a committment to stop smoking forever. I read the book. I educated myself about nicotine addiction. I did all the right things. I've been smoke free since 8-1-2013.

If its going to fail based on statistics, I might as well smoke now.  Luckily, I've never believed that statistics accounted for anything.

This is my forever quit - This is also the first time I ever tried to quit - I had been smoking for 30 years, I think that's quite enough.

I don't want to be another statistic.

[navy4you99]

I didn't listen to the statistics, but I know that it isn't an easy road. 

[marilyn_marmac]

Sorry I didn't respond yesterday. It was dedicated to doctors and I knew this post would be long. You might want to get comfy 😉

I'm torn on my response. I think it would start "most" people off with a negative "I'm going to fail" mind set. At the same time, I wouldn't want the people that do give in to their addiction to not try again, or turn away from the EXcommunity because they thought it had to be a 1 shot attempt and they were a failure.

So I guess it all depends on the person, their attitude, will power and what's going on in their life. As an example, my own quit is very different this time. I've thought a lot about why this quit will not fail and my other 2 did. It also explains some of my thoughts as to why some people need more than one attempt and why I think it's a conscious decision to have a cigarette rather than a slip.

   

   I will start off with telling you that I didn't start smoking until I was almost 31 and maintained an average of a pack a day. The first time I quit was when I had my stroke. I went for a couple of months without a cigarette but it wasn't because I made a decision to quit. It was due to medical issues. I went back to smoking as soon as I was able. I can look back now and see/understand some of the reasons I started back. Keep in mind that I started smoking again with the full knowledge that it could cause me to have another stroke. I was aware of this and made the decision to do it anyway. On top of being addicted to nicotine, I was both mentally and physically weak, I was trying to cope with the changes in my life, the fact that I could no longer do my job and didn't know how I was going to pay my bills. I was in constant fear of having another, more severe, stroke and would not willing go to sleep. In other words, I was weak, depressed, terrified and I couldn't cope with any more changes in my world..like not smoking. The 2nd time, I quit for someone I was in love with and didn't smoke for almost a year. That person ended up causing me a great deal of stress and pain. I believe I started smoking again because I had quit for him and not for me. I made another conscious decision to go buy a pack of cigarettes and start smoking again.

   

   This quit, my forever quit, didn't start out as a forever quit. My plan was to go without a cig for a few weeks, month tops, to get people off my back. I planned to only smoke ocasionally when I restarted. And then a strange thing happened...I realized that I was an addict and I would never be able to control when and how many! And boom, just like that, I (the I is important) changed my mind and decided this wasn't going to be a temp stop...it was going to my Forever Quit. I won't say my quit is easy. My brain is still craving. I know that some of the group thinks I shouldn't have the craving..but hey, I'm different! Maybe it's because I have a brain injury and it will take me a little longer to reach a no crave point! But thats the thing...we are all different! We have different medical and emotional issues going on in our life and each person copes with change differently. What works for one may not work for another. It explains why some people require multiple quits to reach the Forever Quit and why they need to know they aren't abnormal if it takes more than one try. 

   

   How do I know this is my forever quit? Because I've made up my mind that I won't smoke. I've reached a point in life that I know that I can beat this addiction. LOL, this is a nuisance compared to what I've conquered the last few years. So I believe it comes down to really wanting to quit, being emotionally/physically strong enough to have a determination to stick to that choice and belief in yourself that you have the ability to control the outcome. I have no doubts that it is my choice of "put it in my mouth" or say "N.O.P.E."

[Jordan-11-1-12]

I also tink that its a disservice to call it a "slip" and treat it so lightly when we choose to smoke after quitting.   We are in complete and total contol of only one thing in this life, and that is ourselves.

 I've slipped and fallen on ice more than once, and I promise that it happened WITHOUT my consent, and suddenly.  I did not look at the ice and think to myself.... "I could slip on that.  I really want to fall on my butt right now, and no one will know.....  Yea, I'm gonna do it."  and then walk over to the ice with the intention of slipping and falling and onto my back/butt.  and then deliberately stepped onto it, making sure to slide my foot in order to slip and fall.   Rediculous?  

In order to smoke after quitting, we have to first DECIDE to. Then we need to, if not find/buy a cig, at least pick a cig up in our hand. Then we need to place it between our lips with the intention of closing our lips on it. Then we must find flame, and set it to the end of the cig and deliberately inhale to make sure it catches.   A slip?  I think not.

Some people do take more than once to really quit.  But some people also wait until they are dying of smoke related disease before stopping.... so lets not promote the attitude that its ok to do it like "some" people do.

A huge part of addiction is denial, so a huge part of recovery is facing the truth and its consequences.  We need to take responsibility for our choices and our actions and refering to it as a "slip" is keeping the addictive denial attitude going.  

Great group, Nancy!!!

[Jordan-11-1-12]

PS<<   I'm not saying that we shouldn't support quitters that have a lapse, or even a full blown relapse...... of course we should!!!   I just think it is important to realize how serious this addiction is.  

[imadeer]

I've never owned either

Ima Deer