Today is my quit day... AHHHH! For the past 2 weeks I have been preping myself for this day... figuring out how long I can force myself not to smoke, but not pushing it as hard as I could I guess. I had saved one cigg. for last night for before bed so that I could say good-bye and make a big deal out of it. I fell asleep and never smoked it. Yikes, I woke up this am knowing it was there. It was hauting me. I smoked it. GRRR to me, but I was afraid that if I didn't do it now, I would. What if it was days into it and I found it. Yes, yes I should've broken it and thrown it away.. but maybe I needed it. Idk. After that things have been pretty easy. It made me feel horrible anyway. It wasn't until 1:00 when I finally gave in to smoking it and I coudn't smoke all of it at once b/c it made me feel all dizzy. But the rest of this day has been pretty good. No real problems keeping myself from not smoking. I kept myself busy with writing my feelings down. Since a lot of things are going on at home I do have a lot of stress at this point, but I have to remind myself that smoking won't help things. I know that this is just the begining, but maybe, just maybe I can do this!!! I can't imagine what it will be like to not be a slave to smoking.... I guess I've already lved it today. I woke up without smoking... ate without smoking. Sat outside and enjoyed this beautiful day with my kids wout smoking... I didn't go ne where today since smoking and driving are one of my big things... Tomorrow I go to my mothers house where there will be people there who smoke. That will be a HUGE test for me. If I can do that I can do anything. *sigh* Wish me luck! I'll post again tomorrow, being able to write all these feelings down is really helping. Whether anyone reads it or not, I can get this out and that's great!!!!
