Being around smokers

[kjhh]

How do you cope with being around people who smoke? For christmas, we will be going to my fiancés parents house, and both of them are heavy smokers. I feel like asking them not to smoke in their own home is really unfair, because I don’t get to change people’s actions based on my own. I also don’t have the option of not going since we only see them around this time of year. So how do you go about remaining strong in these moments? What are some tips for being around smokers that don’t include not going or asking them to stop? I want to know how to set some healthy boundaries for all parties involved, which means respecting their rights to smoke in their own home. But how do you keep up the momentum when temptation is right there? 

[Barbscloud]

@kjhh You could ask them to smoke outside.  If they're not agreeable, I think you have to options.  Take your tools, plan for the situation - take breaks and go outside as often as you need to.  Go for a walk!

Quitting is hard.  Maybe you have to take a break this year from your visit.  It didn't bother me, but many new quitters have to avoid being around other smokers.  But, you have to make yourself your priority for the long term benefits of your mental and physical health.  It will contribute to many more visits in the future.  You have decide is it worth taking the chance.

Let me know what your decide. 

Barb

[Maki]

Do they know you have quit smoking ? If not let them know you will need to go out for frequent walks when they light up as it is a difficult time for you yet , and you want to keep your quit .
Do they smoke in the house or outside ? If they smoke outside you stay inside .
Non smokers do not generally go outside and stand with the smokers . If they do it’s because smoking doesn’t bother them and they won’t smoke .Hopefully your hosts will be considerate of your decision to quit . You have access to Ex 24/7 .If in any situation excuse yourself a minute and post “ help “ and people will respond , wait for three responses . 
Enjoy your time together . Remember they too are addicted  . 

[kjhh]

they don’t know yet, i’ve been trying to think of the best way to bring it up without being pushy. they smoke indoors, so i will probably be taking walks/leaving the room when they smoke so i can breathe and re-center myself. thank you for your advice, i will probably be posting a lot in here the day of the visit. 

[kjhh]

thank you so much. the part about “it will contribute to more visits in the future” really stuck with me and has been on my mind since i read it. you are so correct, that making it through these moments will lead to healthier and longer lives. i have written it down in my personal “reasons to stay quit” journal. you have been so helpful and supportive and i appreciate all your advice. 

[maryfreecig]

You could let them know that although you have quit and that it is hard to be around smoking that you absolutely appreciate that it is not there responsibility to not smoke around you therefore you might step outside for fresh air, please don't take it personally.

You may feel uncomfortable, but that has nothing to do with your continued quit. You can do this, you're strong and have learned something already about how to handle your quit.

You'll be able to gain more strength and tools by facing this awkward situation. 

[kjhh]

thank you so much, i really appreciate your support and advice. getting through it has been tough, but it’s nice to know i’m not alone. i know i can get through the awkwardness, it’s definitely better to have a bit of an uncomfortable conversation than to fall back into old habits. 

[annself]

• Hello, that would be tough one. If that was me in that position,  I would politely tell them, I’ve quit smoking and it’s very important to me to limit my time being around those who smoke as it is a trigger. Like in AA…we have to make priority plans when going to leave a get together. That includes leaving early (making the visit short) due to my emotional and physical well being. Usually, intuition would tell me when it’s  time to go. I can always pray before during and after the get together. Asking for help and strength 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Call your quit buddy prior (that’s if you have one) to your visit. To make an exit plan. Also discuss it with your significant other. If I am very stressed I can always call 1800 QUIT NOW, for additional support. I’ve been not seeing my brother and his wife lately being I don’t think it’s healthy for me to be around them. I try to make being a non smoker a priority!!. You can do this!! I’ll be praying for you. 

[Barbscloud]

@kjhh & @annself And we're here too!

Barb

[kjhh]

thank you so much for your support, it helps more than you know. it’s nice to know that i’m not alone and people have my back, and it’s nice to be in a community where people have experienced quitting and know what i’m feeling.