Wow, I can'r believe it's been a week since I posted here. Sometimes life just gets away from you and this was one of those times. In this instance it wasn't a bad thing. Just life. 🙂
I have so much I am grateful for that it is sometimes so hard to pick which things to spotlight. lol. But today I pick certainty.
I am grateful for the certainty that comes with making sound decisions based on my integrity. In my past, I was such a liar. I didn't mean to be but I was such a people pleaser and in so much denial. Quittting smoking was the first step for me. It was then that I began to understand that I saw things how I wanted to rather than how they are. It is no wonder I was so uncertain about everything. It is no wonder I never felt real connections to family and friends, I was not being myself. I was this fabricated construct with my name, face and history but none of the the rest was me. Quitting smoking was most likely the first loving thing I had ever done for myself and it has wrought lasting and persisting changes in me. I feel so amazed and honored to be able to post to you today as the person I am now. Genuine, honest, kind, loving, certain.
When you are comepletly honest and loving to yourself and everyone around you, there is no more fear, no more hesitation, no uncertainty. I have heard it said that certainty is overrated because it stops the searching. I am certain I this is not true. With certainty comes confidence, boldness and the absence of fear or doubt. Fear is what stops you from searching searching. Certainty sets you free. Certainty is not knowing all of the answers. It is knowing what you know and who you are. I'm wrong about a lot of things all the time. It is why I study and read and talk to people about their experiences. However I am certain of my intentions, to learn with openmindedness and without unnecesary expectations. It's okay to be wrong, that isn't what certainty is about. Certainty is about integrity and being the most you that you can be.
Today I am grateful for my quit. I will probably post my gratitude about this alot. I had a weird out of place craving today. I really don't want to smoke so I really don't understand the craving. Whatever. Thank you Ex community and creators for this gift of life.
Today I am grateful for growth. Growth is measurable. Growth is undeniable. Growth is progression. Growth is realizing that you can finally see over the lip of the hole you thought you'd never escape. Growth is realizing that even the hole had a necessary part to play.Every challenge brings with it a new goal. Never stop growing. 🙂
I am grateful for my family. Most of my family are not blood related. Most of my blood relatives are not family(lol). I have the greatest group of people in my life. They encourage me, they tell it like it is and they are ALWAYS there for me. I can count my family on one hand and I wouldn't change that for the world because I can count on them. 😄
Today I am grateful for the day out that I got. I spent some quality time at the park and the waterfront with my partner and my dog/kids. There was a folk band playing and we had to move away because our kiddos thought they knew the words better(lol). Got some great pictures and video. Made some great memories. Life gets better each day and the only thing changing is me. Same place, same people, same circumstances, higher perspective.
