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Beck37
Member

My Sadie died today....

193EBDF4-2F4F-4B8C-8D0C-61CF74A23FA5.jpegMy Sadie passed away today, she was 14.. She died as she lived, on her own terms. My heart is broken.  She was my feisty girl not afraid of anything. She started going blind at 2 years old and lost all vision about 3 years ago. You would have never known she couldn’t see. She never let it slow her down or keep her from doing anything. She survived an aggressive rectal cancer 3 years ago, 2 bad knees and cushins disease. The only time I ever heard her complain thru all of this was when she was hungry and sure that I had forgotten to feed them. She was both loving and incredibly independent at the same time. It all happened so fast. Everything was okay until last night. Heavy panting, couldn’t get comfortable. This morning, the same. Wouldn’t eat her morning cookies, but ate her pills and a piece of cheese.  Couldn’t get comfortable, laid  outside (she loved the fresh air).  I picked her up, cuddled her. Told her we were going to go bye bye to buy gas and go to Sonic for her milkshake. She LOVED Sonic. She loved their mini vanilla milkshakes. I heard her come into the house. Saw her laying in the laundry room. A few minutes later I looked in on her again and noticed her head laying down and thought, good she’s finally sleeping.....  She was gone..... she didn’t get her milkshake. She didn’t say goodbye. It was so fast. She didn’t suffer. My heart is broken. 

I did not smoke. I did not drink. 

Beck

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80 Replies
jonimarie
Member

So So sorry 

Beck37
Member

Thank you....

Giulia
Member

Such a dichotomy.  'I'm glad I didn't have to make the decision, yet I didn't get to make the decision.'  SHE made the decision.  She chose the time.  And there are many of us who choose not to say goodbye.  It's easier sometimes.  Not for the ones left behind, but for the one heading into the next realm of existence.  

How lucky you had her for that long.  I know how much it hurts.  I've been there.  Many of us have.  Nothing for it except to say "I know.  And my heart hurts for you."  

Beck37
Member

Thanks so much. Sadie always made the decisions. She was definitely her own girl. She ruled the roost. It’s so quiet here without her. Just took her body to the hospital. Her last car ride. Because of the virus no hugs. Stood there and cried as they took her little body away....  

Giulia
Member

Awwwwww.     super sad face emoticon

elvan
Member

My deepest sympathy, how lovely that you had that time together and that she knew you loved her.  She passed quietly and was clearly at peace.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Ellen

Beck37
Member

Thank you. I just wasn’t ready. She loved life so much. It was hard not to get wrapped up in her excitement of things.....

elvan
Member

I understand that and I know that grief so well, it is just so gut wrenching.  She really did know that you loved her and she just went to sleep.  Remember all of your good times and love life in her memory.

hugs,

Ellen

Beck37
Member

Thanks so much... I just loved her so much. She just commanded attention. She was a force to be reckoned with. But she was always the sweetest. Even when she was telling me off I could get her to stop just by asking for “kissies”. She just loved to give them. I just miss her so much. I appreciate everyone letting me go on and on about her. I am such a proud mama and I lost a huge, wonderful part of my life. I just want to THANK God for having blessed me with her. He outdid himself with the creation of her....

SuzyQ411
Member

My heart aches for you Beck37‌..you and Sadie had a special bond. Because of you, she knew what real love was. I send you heartfelt hugs in your time of grief.