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The Messages We Send Ourselves: Harnessing the Power of Positive Self -Talk

Dr_Hays
Mayo Clinic
3 8 146

Stopping smoking is tough and it often takes multiple attempts for a person to quit for good.  The frustration and disappointment of returning to smoking after trying to stop can sometimes come with self-defeating thoughts such as “I can’t cope with all the stress in my life without a cigarette” or “I’ll never be able to do this.”

 

Those thoughts – even though we might see them as “just thoughts”, can be very powerful in how we view our smoking and our confidence to quit in the future.   They become problematic if we give them room in our mind as they can become “automatic” and we no longer question their accuracy.  Unhealthy thoughts like these can contribute to the amount of stress we perceive in our life and may hinder future stop smoking efforts. 

 

However, countering or challenging these thoughts with positive messages can really enhance our focus and ability to different life goals – such as stopping smoking.  Through positive self-talk, we can catch and change negative thoughts and replace them with more flexible or healthy ones.

 

Here are two examples of negative smoking related thoughts and positive thoughts we can use to challenge them:

 

1.      Negative Thought:  “I can’t cope with all the stress in my life without a cigarette.”

         Positive Counter Thought: “I know that there are other ways to deal with stress, such as relaxation exercises; and I could choose to avoid some of the stressful situations in my life.”

 

2.      Negative Thought:  “I will never be able to enjoy anything anymore once I stop smoking.  Everything that I do that is fun involves smoking."

         Positive Counter Thought:  “I can control what I find to be fun and enjoyable.  I know I enjoyed things when I was a non-smoker, and I can learn to enjoy things again without smoking.”

 

How we choose to think about certain situations can greatly impact how we deal with then.  I encourage you to try this activity out for yourself!  It might feel difficult to do at first, but the more you practice catching and challenging unhelpful or negative thoughts, the easier it can become.  You may just surprise yourself with how your entire outlook on life can change!

 

             

8 Comments
Thomas3.20.2010

I actually was planning on writing a Blog just about that! Dr. Hays beat me to it!

Please check out:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support

If you like it Please join and always feel free to leave any affirmations you have found that are useful to your Recovery!

JonesCarpeDiem

"I don't do that anymore" out loud is what I suggest when people get the urge to smoke.. Completely refocus's the thinking immediately.

elvan
Member

"I don't do that anymore" is something I have said many times and I have CHOSEN to do something healthy instead of smoking.

TerrieQuit
Member

NOPE! NEF! I don't do that anymore!!

Terrie  88  DOF

YoungAtHeart
Member

The CHOICE to think about things in a correct manner is an important life tool.  I was in a bad car accident and tore my rotator cuff. broke my sternum, and was generally bumped and bruised all over.  I am not a "sit and watch movies/TV/read" kind of person, so being stuck in a chair was difficult for me.  My house needed cleaning-and I was just sitting there looking at it.  SO --- finally I couldn't stand it and tried to vacuum with my good arm while holding my sternum in place with the other.  Can you IMAGINE anything more stupid?  A friend suggested I see a therapist to see how I might best cope with my current situation since I didn't seem to be doing so well on my own.

The therapist's advise was SO simple and so right on!  He suggested that when I knew I was planning to do something I knew was ill advised - to ask myself, "Is doing this in my long term  best interest?"  Of course the answer was, "no," but in deciding for myself it  took the decision  from the realm of "my injuries are preventing me" to "I have chosen not to harm myself."  I was able to own the decision!

So simple; so powerful.  It worked  for that situation and others in my life since.  It can work to keep a quit going, too (a momentary lapse or the will to stay quit is a CHOICE!)

Nancy

Giulia
Member

I find humor to be a great self-talk tool.  May not always be positive humor, could be kind of SNARKY humor like saying to myself - "I WANT I WANT I WANT, whine whine whine, oH JuSt GeT OVER yerself already!!!" Or singing a silly made up song - (to the My Fair Lady tune)  "All I want is a cigarette, now how stupid is that, you bet.  There is no need to fret, Oh I - am - lovely!  Humor takes us out of ourselves and enables a different perspective which is so important during this quitting process.  We tend to become oh so serious and rather myopic.

 

jlharrel
Member

Love this post.  Definately, something I have to work on when I all "stressed" out. 

Toni-k
Member

I just finished Allen Carr's book and quit 3 days ago. Using his mantra from the book... "Yippee I'm Free!!" I  think of all the things that I am free from:  Free from smoking, ashtrays, cigs, lighter, time wasted smoking, nasty taste in my mouth, anxiety over quitting... etc..

About the Author
An expert in tobacco use and dependence, Dr. Hays has authored and co-authored over 70 peer-reviewed scholarly articles and book chapters on various aspects tobacco dependence and its treatment. Since joining the Nicotine Dependence Center in 1992, he and its staff have treated more than 50,000 patients for tobacco dependence.