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Stress and resilience

Dr_Hays
Mayo Clinic
62 77 6,968

Often we think of stress as something that is happening to us: too many demands, situations that aren’t resolving as we hoped, or a series of unfavorable events. However we might benefit from seeing stress in a different light, as how we react to events, rather than how events are happening to us.

 

Our body provides us with one underlying mechanism to address emergencies or ‘stressful’ situations. When challenging events happen, our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) becomes activated. At its core, this system is designed to focus our energy to manage potentially life-threatening situations. When faced with a difficult or ‘stressful’ situation, a cascade of neurochemical messengers and hormones signal our heart to begin racing, our pupils to dilate, our digestive system to slow and our mind to more narrowly focus upon danger. This response is more fitting to being surprised by an animal in the jungle rather than to reacting to ‘stressors’ of the modern day like needing to balance a checkbook, or organizing a busy workday. Many ills of our modern day can be attributed to an overactive SNS –flailing to address crises or stressors with a system built for different types of demands.

 

But there is a solution. The mind and body are equipped with a cognitive ability to reappraise threats and a parasympathetic nervous system (PNAS), which can turn-off the SNS with a relaxation response. Good stress management can be understood as using our reasoning to realistically appraise the demands in our life, and most importantly, building our ability to activate our PNAS. With our patients we try to formulate specific goals for recreation, physical activity, enjoyable social connections, and practiced relaxation such as deep breathing or meditation; all of which strengthen the PNAS.

 

There are many good books on resilience and stress management, some of which you might recommend in comments. One I would recommend is ‘Why Zebra’s Don’t Get Ulcers’ by Robert Sapolsky. Now in it’s third edition, the book provides a very accurate scientific description in a fun easy to read format.  

 

I would like to hear from you about strategies you have found helpful to manage stress and develop your 'relaxation response'.

77 Comments
TerrieQuit
Member

I searched and found the book on Amazon, here is the link if anyone is interested, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, Third Edition: Robert M. Sapolsky: 8601404345708: Amazon.com: Books 

Dr. Hays,  Up until about 5 years ago (March 1rst, 2012) I drank and smoked my stress away or so I thought. I have learned here about the quit box. I see a therapist who has helped me build tool boxes for many other areas of my life. One of them being anxiety=stress! There are many common ingredients in all of my tools boxes. Water, deep slow breathing, meditation and THINK before I respond to things! That last one is a doozie for me, but if I Think, I tend not to be so anxious and impulsive. There are more but these are the main ones that I use!

Great blog, Thanks for posting!  ~Terrie~

Thomas3.20.2010

Exercise, breathing, yoga, mindfulness meditation, guided imagery, muscle relaxation, soft music, and as Terrie said - think before you freak!

JonesCarpeDiem

I pet my pet

He's "Hoggie"  the Cat

His love is pure

Helps me relax

Giulia
Member

Sensory Deprivation Tank.  Unfortunately they're not as popular as the used to be.  But if I could afford one and had a place in my home for such - that would be my "go-to" for stress relief.  It's the only place I've ever found that actually allows and induces my  brain to shut down completely (aside from sleep).  And of course what IS stress reduction but the shutting down of the brain firings!  Or certain ones anyway.   But of course a deprivation tank is not exactly a quick fix for immediate stress relief.  Biofeedback machines whether it's GSRs or EEGs can help (tried those too way back when),  but you need to practice with them and that too is age-old technology.  Maybe mood rings?  Focus on turning the stone blue....

For me the easiest and quickest stress buster is the slow, deep breathing method we all speak of here.  For a couple of reasons.  First - if you can even get to that moment of emotional/intellectual recognition (that you NEED to do something because you're stressed - as opposed to being just simply caught up in it), you've begun the necessary "stress-trigger-reduction" thought in your mind.  You need to first recognize (become aware) you're stressed, then seek the remedy. That cognitive thinking in itself is the first step to relieve stress.  Taking the necessary action - the next.    

And what that action IS,  we each need to learn for ourselves through experimentation with different techniques.

You're blog made me curious.  And I found the following:  "The PNS can also constrict the bronchi. On the other hand, the SNS dilates them and increases their diameter."  Which makes sense if you're in fight or flight mode you need those bronchi open.  But does that mean relaxing causes COPD users to be under more bronchi distress by narrowing the diameter?  If so, then maybe it's better if they remain on "high alert" so to speak.  

Thomas3.20.2010

High Alert Giulia‌ causes a flood of cortisol and happens very frequently in COPD. Chronic stress can weaken the immune system.. People who are stressed often feel anxious, irritable, or depressed. Chronic stress may also cause more frequent flare-ups of COPD symptoms. I don't recommend it!

I do use nuerofeedback and have for a few Years. Normal treatment is usually only 24 weeks. However with my chronic depression and anxiety it has provided a great deal of relief. It's not for everybody and it's expensive (my insurance pays most of mine.) Accompanied by the latest in modern therapy including EMDR neurofeedback provides me with a certain quality of life and ability to continue to work.

TerrieQuit
Member

I had the EMDR therapy for PTSD which was causing a great deal of stress about 3 years ago, it helped for awhile but isn't helping anymore!  ~Terrie~

Dr_Hays
Mayo Clinic

I've had a couple of sensory deprivation tank sessions - really wonderful.

elvan
Member

I exercise when my body cooperates, I do breathing exercises, meditate, and I write down what is causing my stress to put it into perspective and see if there is something I can do to change it...enter Serenity Prayer.  I also use mindful meditation, thanks to Thomas.  I recognize now how much more stress smoking caused and did not relieve.  

Lauralives
Member

Interesting how much more I have heard about SNS and PNAS in the past few years.   I like everyone's input.  Meditation, yoga, deep breathing, exercise are all great and in my tool box.  I started a breath class right after I quit and was amazed at the results.  It was as though that breathing unearthed some traumas I had hidden in my body.  It was very healing.  All of these things take practice, practice, practice so that we go to them instead of panicking or reacting in other destructive ways. Resilience training can change our lives.  We can train our minds to slow down and not just go with the reactions we have been so used to following.  It is amazing when you realize all the power you have given away, ignored, or never even questioned.  At this stage in my life, I am questioning all my beliefs.  Do they serve me?  Are they true?  We don't have to believe any of it!!  How freeing is that?  Thanks for the info Dr. Hays and all you wonderful Ex's!!

Lauralives

philly33
Member

Hello Dr.Hays.When am stressed I've made myself a bored list it's a list that I wrote out of thing that I enjoy doing like yoga,Reading inspirational books,mediation on things I want in life,ect.That has help me a lot.Thanks for sharing 

c2q
Member

The best stress buster hands down for me is floating. In a pool. In my tub. in a floatation tank if I can find one. In the sea. It's amazing.

Another tool that helped me a lot when I was in crisis management mode - all the time as a paratransit manager for an urban public transportation authority, it seems - was a great little book called

Who moved my cheese.

It was a life saver.

Bree19
Member

Thank you Dr Hays for a timely post for me personally.  Quitting on Monday 27 Feb and concerned about my depression & anxiety flaring up. I'm a well-medicated and fully functional depressed and anxious person with episodes few and far between.  I see my Psychiatrist for follow-ups and adjusting my dosages every 6 months.  

But this quit I'm planning sent me into a flat spin last Sunday night and caused me to immediately move the quit date to this Monday.  Now I've done  lot more planning and am as ready as I'll ever be to kick this habit.   Still, I dread those out-of-control panics that just come out of nowhere.   I seem incapable of rational  thought at the time and hope my mind will remember to reach for the plans I've put in place instead of moving right into meltdown......It makes me feel unable to think when it hits.

Thanks again for your valuable input.  Bree

LindaK_Mc
Member

I have had anxiety attacks for years up until about 2 years ago and I guess with age they stopped. I've found that if I get out of the house and go shopping, go to the library or a book store, visit my daughter who doesn't smoke. But for instant help breathing deeply slowly in and out helps me the most maybe because it's calming and also resembles smoking. Thank you for your article it was very helpful and I'm on day 5 so I need to read as much as possible. 

Lauralives
Member

Awesome LindaK!!  5 days is amazing!  Hang in there and you are so smart to read as much as possible.  I'm finding it helpful too.  Knowledge really is power!!  Laura 32 Days of Freedom

candy1234
Member

I hope that this program works. cause I have tried a lot to quit and I could not do it on my own and half my family is smokers so I plan to stay away until I can say that it don't bother me being around other smokers cause I so want to quit for me and my family and most of all because my 8 year old son ask me to please quit smoking and I have also tried the e ciggreat and it don't work

Giulia
Member

Hi candy1234 .  This program DOES work, if you work IT!  In order to have a successful quit one of the first steps is to become educated, not only about the methods to quit, but about the addiction itself and your relationship to it.  The first part of our homework for a successful quit is to understand our triggers and the WHY we do what what we do each time we light up a cigarette.  I encourage you to put up a blog or conversation.  Simply click on the pencil icon on the top right of the page and start a conversation or share you thoughts.  There are a lot of people here who know exactly what you're going through.  If I can help steer you around, simply hover over my G and when the hovercard pops up, click on message and leave me one.  You CAN quit smoking. Believe it!  WE KNOW YOU CAN!

kenwil101
Member

I tried breathing exercises to control my cravings to smoke; initially, I would just smoke away when I was unable to control the urge.

fahim_khan
Member

do we have any  any replcement medication  to help us stop smoking

Giulia
Member

fahim_khan‌  There are many different nicotine replacement medications (NRT's).  Choose a Quit Smoking Aid: BecomeAnEX   You can get to that link from:  Become An EX Smoker | A Free Quit Smoking Program to Help You Stop Smoking: BecomeAnEX  and hovering over How to Quit.   If you put NRT in the search box you'll be presented with a LOT of different opinions concerning them.  Some NRT's work better for some people, it all depends upon your personal preference.  

Mandolinrain
Member

Prayer should be first for me, but I don't always react that way. A long walk or a hot soak in the tub. I try to go to prayer first though

Wantingacig57
Member

I'm in a Similar Boat with Anxiety as it has actively caused me to go INTO PANIC ATTACKS... Since I've been on Lexapro the attacks are few and far between !! I have wayyyyy reduced the amount of All Pressure in my Daily Routines due to failing Health issues

I have to continually keep myself in-check with Anxiety  Having a Great Relationship with the Lord my God, Precious Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has HELPED AND CONTINUES TO HELP ME with ALL that Each Day brings forth... Hallelujah!!

Wantingacig57
Member

DITTO !! AMEN !!

Wantingacig57
Member

I'm here to Proclaim that without my "Banchi Doggy" I WOULD BE A WRECK !!!! She is my PAL, LOVE, LAUGHTER, COMPANION, DRIVE FORWARD, and She Brings Forth a TRUE DESIRE TO LOVE UNCONDITIONAL !!! (I don't have a People Mate)  which is just as well, because she fills the definition of "LOVE" !! Have a Great Weekend, Good People !!!

Wantingacig57
Member

As an advanced COPD Victim, the answer to your comment about remaining in "Flight and Fight" mode DEFINITELY makes a Big Difference with my breathing as opposed to Just WAKING UP after 8-10 hrs of sleep !! When I first Wake I MUST mentally wake as Slowly as possible because as soon as my feet hit the floor and I'm walking, my Breathing is In Trouble !!! Once I get all 3 inhalers...INHALED, productive coughing along with CONTROL over hyperventilating...I'm then alright with Coffee and Sitting Down !!

I've LEARNED how NOT to freak-out, as use to, calling the Ambulance  Sadly...this is how far I had gone with 42-45 yrs of heavy smoking!!!

TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY OF 2nd ATTEMPT TO QUIT SMOKING !!! MY FIRST TIME HERE, TO BE SUCCESSFUL !!! HIP-HIP HOORAY   

Wantingacig57
Member

Most Excellent post "for Me" right Here, Laura!!

Thank You for your INPUT !! SIMPLE AND HEALING

Wantingacig57
Member

Hey there, c2q !! Thank You for the Quick Read Book, "Who moved my Cheese"!!! Love the idea of the Formatting along with the PURPOSE IT FULFILLS !!! THANX, Julie

Wantingacig57
Member

Bree19....I SO LOVE YOUR HONESTY !!! 

Sincerely looking forward to our SHARING both of our New Adventures to KICK THE HORRIBLE HABIT OF SMOKING!!! Thanx for Your Bluntness, as I Also am a "TELL IT LIKE IT IS" PERSON !!!

See ya... Blessings Abound

Wantingacig57
Member

Myself, I GO TO PRAYER FIRST AND FOREMOST, ALWAYS, WITHOUT SECOND THOUGHT  JESUS AND THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE IN AND OF MY EVERYDAY !!! I would truly be without Direction, without!! Living Life in constant physical PAIN takes away from any sanity without LOVE AND DIRECTION... Therefore, I AM Because of; THE...I AM !! Glory To God !¡!

Wantingacig57
Member

Mandolinrain,

You Can MAKE PRAYER FIRST AND FOREMOST!!

Sounds like You Need to Get to Know More about the Lord Your God !! Open Your Bible...Join a Bible Study, ask questions, etc...Your whole Life will BECOME so very Exciting, Trust will become REAL!! FAITH IS POWERFUL in All of Your Life  Take the First Step...you will NEVER regret that You Did

Lisa8558
Member

Tomorrow is my quit day and I've smoked for 42 yrs. I'm on an inhaler and I'm afraid of what the future holds if I keep it up.  Wishing you smoke free days✌️

Christine13
Member

Thank you Dr. Hays, I'm just finding this article now.  I am trying different methods to relax.  Deep breathing, bathing in hot water, taking a walk, and journaling and yoga help me, prayer as well.  I'm trying to learn, to remember to use my coping tools here.  I have been under constant stress the last 3 or 4 years.  I am hoping I will be getting better at stress relief as I go along.

12Finally34
Member

Thanks for the suggestions!

I am learning and practicing deep breathing and meditation.

Tabbiekat
Member

Love this book, in 2002 I worked in a small call center and the manager had bought a handful of them and asked us employees to read it, then a couple months later they informed us the call center was. It is something I have referenced many times during changes within my life over the last 15 years. Today's change is another step of how to be a non-smoker.

12Finally34
Member

Thank you Dr. Hayes.

This week my youngest brother passed.

I always get help when I take the time to come to Ex site.  This site helps me to continue to attending the AA and nicotine meeting. It helps me to continue my psychodrama group.  It helps me to come outside myself and help someone else who is struggling to quit smoking.

Thank you for the information 

128 days today

Thomas3.20.2010

The greatest weapon against stress

KReid1992
Member

Greetings 

im a beginner with quitting again. I keep relapsing only with four cigarettes here then five here or two. I just want consistent behavior but stress is usually my trigger and I know I have to do the suggestions you recommended which is great and helpful. I’ll do it. I’m determined and I want it so badly. Again my start date is 4/29. I’m determined 

JonesCarpeDiem

Willingness is key.

Giulia
Member

KReid1992‌  Part of our homework is learning how to deal with stress without a cigarette.    Slow, deep, long breaths can really help.  

 

 

Mandolinrain
Member

These are cool

Prittylikepink

I really enjoyed the article and found the advice helpful towards my perspective of stress.  I use smoking as a way to think and get out when stress hits me.  I too , often feel that everything is coming at me.  I believe I need to just allow myself to receive the situation and then prioritize it as best as possible.  

Opidfght
Member

h how I could have used this 4 days ago.

Giulia
Member

Well, at least you found it now.  Copy them, save them to your desktop.  Then you can draw them up any time.

Opidfght
Member

Yes i did that thank you.

KReid1992
Member

These are very helpful and I will be utilizing them. Thank you so much. I’m so tired of procrastinating 

indingrl
Member

Thanks for sharing Dr Hays. I find prayer and reading MY Bible and studying it HELPS ME to pray ask and receive more of God's grace and MY Holy Spirit fruits in MY day in MY Lord Jesus name amen- gentle hug. 

Dr Hays to you and ALL your family

JonesCarpeDiem

Hoggie sleeps in catnip to reduce stress.

DSCF4741.JPG

Thedaniel01
Member

Go exercise read a book

Read a book and go exercise

catieadams
Member

I would think the opposite, although it is a slippery slope when it comes to smoking.  I was just thinking as I read what you wrote that being stressed with dilated bronchi is a great opportunity to use deep breathing to relieve it, even if you are COPD, those big breaths provided healing oxygen and remove extra CO2.   As long as air isn’t obstructed- which it likely is.    slow deep breaths are hard to obtain when your stress is directly related to not being able to breathe.  I had a patient once that couldn’t catch her breath, and she was also having negative thoughts about her deceased husband who died from COPD, and here she is in the same boat. The mind is a powerful thing, so that Think is really important to have ready with positive reinforcement.  

indingrl
Member

YES EXercise is the BEST stress relief - I go for a WALK or move MY furniture around and spring cleaning - just sharing

About the Author
An expert in tobacco use and dependence, Dr. Hays has authored and co-authored over 70 peer-reviewed scholarly articles and book chapters on various aspects tobacco dependence and its treatment. Since joining the Nicotine Dependence Center in 1992, he and its staff have treated more than 50,000 patients for tobacco dependence.