I was having a conversation with a patient today who mentioned “I am happy and have been tobacco-free for 12 weeks now, but I just feel like there is something missing sometimes.” A lot of ex-tobacco users have described this feeling in various ways, and it is relatable to so many. The feeling that something is missing. It is quite normal, and I hope you don’t feel alone in these moments when you experience similar feelings.
When you find yourself reminiscing about missing tobacco, what can you do about it?
It might be helpful to dig a little deeper within yourself to identify what exactly you are missing about it. Is it the familiar feeling on your throat when you take a puff, or the smell of smoke that you were used to for so long?
Maybe it was the mere familiarity of it that you found so comforting when you were feeling stressed; or that it was a good excuse to get away from everything and everyone and just have some alone time. Or, perhaps, it was the relationship with the cigarette — as it has always been there through the good times and the bad.
Identifying exactly what it is that you miss can help you further pinpoint how to get the thing that you miss in another way — other than by going back to tobacco. Many may feel that smoking, vaping, or chewing is the only way we know how to calm ourselves down, relax, or concentrate. But would it really help you focus now? Would it really help you feel calm?
In my conversation with my patient, we identified that tobacco wouldn’t really help him focus or feel calm now because he would be overcome with such feelings of guilt if he were to go back to using tobacco. This may ring true for others out there. You feel that you have put so much work into getting away from something; and, then find yourself continuing to have those thoughts romanticizing your tobacco use.
Keep in mind that continuing to wallow in those feelings might further cause you harm by detaching you from the reality that is tobacco use and the reasons you are fighting so hard to stay quit from it.
It may be helpful to dig a little deeper the next time you find yourself struggling with “missing something” now that you are no longer using tobacco. What do you miss about it? And how can you get that need met elsewhere in your life?
