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Smoking - A Family Affair

NDC_Team
Mayo Clinic
6 9 492

Most spouses or partners of smokers would like it if there loved one would quit. However they may be unsure of the best way to help their loved one. When looking to be supportive - Here is some information that may be helpful for your quitting spouse.

Despite the difficulties in quitting, 40% of those who are successful attribute their success to having appropriate support. So partners can play a greater role at successfully quitting than they might realize.

  • Express concern without lecturing- Most smokers already know the health risk associated with their addiction. Having a judgement-free conversation and expressing concern about wanting to live a healthy long life together may be beneficial.
  • Help manage withdrawal symptoms- Being patient with your spouse during the period of withdrawal and longer (quitting is a process and often a major change). Encourage the use of NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) or other smoking cessation medications, if your partner is using them.
  • Together come up with distractions- Distractions can be very helpful in battling withdrawal and cravings. Together establish a few fun activities such as; exploring nature, watching a new movie, cooking meal together…etc.
  • Find the appropriate level of encouragement- Having unrealistic expectations for your partner can really have negative effects. If your partner feels that you are “nagging” constantly this may shut down open communications- Ask them what they would like encouragement to look like. If they are seeing outside help for smoking cessation, ask them if you would be able to join.
  • Be supportive during the “hard times”- Often people working towards quitting are not successful on their first try, quitting can take multiple attempts. Your understanding and ongoing support will make it more likely that your spouse will keep trying and ultimately succeed.
 “Addiction is a family disease, one person may use but the whole family suffers”
– Shelly Lewis

Laura McConahey

NDC Counselor/CTTS

9 Comments
sweetplt
Member

Thank you for this blog...my husband was a big support to me...he is proud of me and has helped me every step of the way...I am truly blessed...this is so important to quitting smoking...~ Colleen 324 DOF 

constanceclum
Member

Thanks for sharing this. My husband is attempting to quit by wearing a patch and smoking a few a day. He's been very sick with pneumonia, cold flare-up and sleep apnea. I of course want him to not smoke at all. Really doing my best to be encouraging and not be a nag.

elvan
Member

I was lucky enough to have a very supportive family and even luckier to have EX where I could vent about anything.  Instead of lighting up, I came to EX,

Ellen

anncrice
Member

I totally agree that having the support of your spouse is key. My husband also smokes but a lot less than I do. I’m a pack a day and he’s about 6 cigs a day. He’s on Bupropion for anxiety which helps him curb the habit. I’ll use the patch on my quit date. Should I start it before my quit date?  He offers good advice on coping mechanisms (which I appreciate) but isn’t one to offer praise or positive feedback. I guess that’s asking a lot from one person. My daughter is my go-to person for the positive feedback I need to keep me on track. Any suggestions?

KMC56
Member

Communication is KEY.  When I made the decision to quit...again...I had a conversation with them and let them know, I was better informed with this attempt.  Mind you, they all smoke, and ofcourse I would have loved all to join my band wagan!  

But they were and are still in support of my quit...love my peeps!!

~Kayhy

cultonanita2
Member

I need free supplies immediately. 

Barbscloud
Member

@cultonanita2 Welcome to the Ex.  If you're not sponsored by your employer or health care provider the Ex wouldn't be provided aids.  If you are, let us a know and someone from the Ex will be able to help you.   But it isfree to participate  in the Ex for great support with your quit.

You can contact you state quit line for free aids.  1-800-QUIT-NOW.

Barb

anon80
Member

I love my wife, she's always there for me!

Amanda88colgate

My boys are always there for me and support me in everything. 

About the Author
The Nicotine Dependence Center at Mayo Clinic has been home to physicians, nurse practitioners, Master’s / PhD level counselors, trained TTS’, and amazing office staff for a total of 30 years, all working together to treat individuals who struggle with tobacco use. Counselors meet with an individual to develop their own personalized plan, discuss coping strategies, and provide ongoing support along the journey towards a tobacco-free life. As part of the process, counselors work with physicians and nurse practitioners to provide nicotine replacements and other medications for smoking cessation as needed. We are happy to be involved with the EX Community and we hope our experiences and expertise can help in your journey towards a tobacco-free life. View the link in our signature to see our individual Biographies.