We all want to change things about ourselves and that is very normal, but sometimes those changes can be very hard.
Have you tried to quit smoking, started making a plan, and then thought, "This is taking forever and it's harder than I expected"? This self-defeating self-talk feels like a mental stand-off between giving up and achieving your tobacco free life.
This is all very normal and can be part of the process. When I try to make a change, I always start off very motivated. I do well for a couple of weeks and then something happens that throws me off my path. In the beginning, people are motivated and start out strong; but as they continue their motivation wanes, and they begin to fatigue. When they can see the end is near, their drive is back and their motivation returns, but that middle part where they slow down, stall out, and struggle? That is the tough part.
They see progress – but it is not happening fast enough, and so that familiar self-doubt comes into play. I see this often with my patients. They reduce their smoking to 3 cigarettes per day and settle, never reaching their goal of complete abstinence.
Has this ever happened to you?
How do you get back on track?
- Review and Tweak: When you feel you are “stalling out,” it can be helpful to review what you are doing. Is there one point at which you are struggling and getting stuck? Try making a small tweak in what you are doing and keep moving forward.
- New Plan: If your plan is simply not working and a new plan is needed, write down all the possibilities of things to try. If you need ideas, becomeanex.org can be a valuable resource.
- Experiment: This is my favorite! Keep trying and testing out all your ideas. You will never know which one is the winner unless you try them. Say “YES” to everything until something clicks.
- Avoid the “Middle”: We all feel discouraged when caught in the “middle” part of this process, so avoid it. Try going back to breaking up your plan into small achievable chunks, where you can see some progress; and avoid that dreadful “middle” all together.
- Believe in Yourself: Focus on yourself and your progress, to gain awareness and feel proud of your journey. When you notice your successes and can feel proud of your accomplishments, it is easier to keep moving forward.
- Support: Surround yourself with family, friends, and acquaintances that support you. With the right people in your corner, you will feel that you can accomplish anything. If you don’t have support, you can always find support on becomeanex.org.
Change is not a linear path. You may get stuck a few times and cycle through before you succeed. This path is OK if you are learning from your mistakes. There is a great deal of research out there that looks at why some people fail, while others succeed.
Often people who succeed had many failures early on.
People who tried and failed and tried again gained insight each time that helped them to eventually succeed.
Thomas Edison said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
This quote is a reminder to not give up easily, keep trying new tools and giving it your all. Success will follow.
As I encourage you to keep on your quit journey, remember that trying and being unsuccessful is not true failure, it is part of the process of discovering what works for you, to live your tobacco free life.
What are some things you do when you feel you are losing that motivation to keep on the path of change?
